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Tiki Central / Tiki Drinks and Food / "Kon-Tiki" Fads Spread Bad Food Across Country

Post #329138 by pappythesailor on Thu, Aug 30, 2007 6:19 PM

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(this was a syndicated column by Russell Kirk taken from Ada(,OK)Evening News, 26 May 1965)

A pestilent rash of "Polynesian" restaurants la spreading
across the face of this land of ours. I confess that, intially (sic), I
smiled upon these eating-houses. But they degenerate in quality,
and I yearn for food, not for pseudo-Pacific cuteness. Down with
cuisine and decor a la Kon Tiki!
The Kon-Tiki fad now extends to Podunk and Tuxedo Junction.
Certain wholesalers thrive by selling nothing but grass matting,
imitations of Easter Island figures, and the
other paraphernalia of "South Seas" dining.
Mr. Thor Heyerdahl, ethnologist and author of
that delightful book "The Voyage of the Kon-
Tiki," must be aghast at the architectural and
gastronomic atrocities committed in the name
of his balsa raft.
Primarily, the trouble with these sham-Pacific
restaurants is that the cooks don't really know
how to prepare Polynesian or Micronesian or
Indonesian or Malayan dishes — how could
they? — and that the proprietors think garish ersatz-Tahiti decor
will atone for the dubious fare and the high prices. I confess
that a few of these dining-rooms are pleasant, with their fantastic
drinks and almond-eyed waitresses. But here I reproach the
typical "atoll" masquerade just off the throughway, with its
thin veneer of fakery and its insipid adaptation of American-
Chinese menus.
South Seas dishes are all very well in Papeete or Noumea. But
the typical American restauranteur would do better to serve food
he knows how to judge and prepare, and to decorate his walls
with decent simplicity. Dining on sham amid sham doesn't assist
digestion.
Every region of America has its traditional cookery, which a
good restaurant-keeper can embellish and emphasize. Every
town in America has some history or local characteristics which
can become the subject of interesting decor in an eating-house:
some places have competent local artists or designers, who ought
to be given their chance to give a restaurant some touch of
originality.
Americans are not singular in their present neglect of their
native cookery. In South Africa, there exists not a single eatinghouse
which specializes in the hearty old Afrikaans (Boer) dishes.
The vast majority of "better" South African restaurants serve
their version of English cuisine, alas. (Sorry to say, English
cooking survives the dissolution of the British empire. Will the
sun never set upon those dreary "mixed grills" and long-boiled
Brussels sprouts?)
This world of ours grows daily more standardized and massproduced.
Every effort ought to be made toward preserving and
stimulating diversity and local character in the details of life;
for the boredom of uniformity is a principal plague of the affluent
society.
So in Dixieland, or Yankeeland. I'll take my stand for the oldfashioned
kitchen. Not every American city can have traditional
restaurants as delicious as those of New Orleans, but every
restauranteur can do something to brighten the corner where
he is. I'd as soon eat balsa logs as digest some of the stuff that
passes for "Kon Tiki".

(what a pill, huh?)