Tiki Central / Tiki Carving / Buzzy's work: Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate
Post #330883 by Bay Park Buzzy on Fri, Sep 7, 2007 2:10 AM
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BPB
Bay Park Buzzy
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Fri, Sep 7, 2007 2:10 AM
Ahhhhhh! Time to answer my recent fan mail....
Old guy? 200+ tikis? Not quite! I only did about 123 carvings on pieces of wood so far. I call those carvings "tikis" because there are these collector guys out there who will buy anything that you call a "tiki." Some are even kind of obsessive about it. Furthermore, I can't be an "old guy" because I've only been carving for two years. I kind of forgot about my carving anniversary in all the Oasis proceedings. It was in August some time. I'm totally new at this. I have been pretty busy in the last couple years: Oh yeah, back to the question...
Before you carve a tiki, you must do the proper research, and from that research will come your inspiration. You should enroll in a college with a major in Polynesian Studies. After obtaining a BA in that major and receiving your diploma, you will then, and only then, be qualified to carve a tiki. Otherwise, you're just slapping a face on a log. There's no mana in that. Speaking of mana, when the professor starts talikng about that in class, take a lot of notes, because that has something to do with making tikis.
Tiki-the new home of disenfranchised Rockabilly and Hot Rod Dudes, and more importantly, their ladies. The rockabilly guys are welcome in the Tiki scene because they usually have attractive women with them.
Old guy or new guy: I'd be embarrassed if I qualified as either one of those. THE TIKI GUY LIST
(the list ends there) Oh boy, it looks like I made the only list that matters. Old guys, you all can kiss my Tiki Guy ass! New guys, you're cool with me and under my radar until you qualify as an old guy. then you too, can look forward to an eternity of kissing my Tiki Guy ass!
There is no such thing as inspiration. It's all just a Book of Tiki space time infinity continuum. Someone from the future brought a book of tiki back in time, so then all future tiki, which was actually our past, was based on the book, which was actually based on the past, which then resulted in the future of tiki. So tiki is stuck in a loop, and cannot change because the future of tiki will always be defined by the past. You do not need new ideas: That is the beauty of tiki!
Tiki is about getting pissed off at other people who like tiki too because they do tiki differently than you. It's kind of like a religion devoid of deities with actual foundations.
Lacking any sort of archeological evidence of ceramic tiki mug use by island cultures, I would say that they definitely are Tiki. Without a doubt. And, if you say anything bad about them, you will be ostracized from the tiki clan. Then you will be a ronin and end up in limbo and purgatory.
Only if you pour rum in it and some sort of fruit garnish. You have to name the drink too, otherwise you're just a drunk.
Tiki people lump Elvis out of desperationin with the tiki thing because he had a room full of witcos . As if the king would associate with common tiki folk. He'd laugh at tiki people. The best tiki could attract was Todd Rundgren. Elvis > Todd R.
Do a Moai. There will never be enough. They always sell too.
I can legally do that! I'm a Native American Old Guy. I have a degree in Native American Studies. Sweet! Bowana: I'll loan you a piece of ficus, but you have to return it after your done carving it, and return it promptly! Gman: Do not look directly into the eye! In the future, more work, less talk.
[ Edited by: Bay Park Buzzy 2007-09-07 02:28 ] |
