Setting the record straight - General Tiki

B boutiki Tiki Socialite The fly-over states Joined: Jun 03, 2002 Posts: 497	B boutiki Posted posted on Tue, Nov 13, 2007 9:56 PM There has been something bothering me for some time now and I decided that I should address it here. Some people have been spreading rumors, making underhanded comments and casting dispersions about my wife Amy and myself and we are tired of hearing things second hand and reading snarky comments on Tiki Central. This all relates to an old Tiki restaurant in Kalamazoo, MI. The former Tur Mai Kai. We shared news of the closing of the restaurant in this thread: http://www.tikicentral.com/viewtopic.php?topic=7093&forum=1 Subsequently another thread has continued the history of the place: http://www.tikicentral.com/viewtopic.php?topic=22069&forum=1 Apparently, since we didn't post prior to the closing, people have construed that we had diabolical intentions. Some people would like to think that we were keeping secrets in order to corner the market when the restaurant met its demise. Nothing could be further from the truth. The reality of the situation is this. We had discovered the place still existed (what was left) quite a while before it closed. We did not post about it on Tiki Central for a few reasons. One of them was that is really was no great shakes. It was a very faint shadow of its former self. However, the main reason was that we were frankly tired of people being judgmental and critical of places that were not up to their high standards. People like James Teitlebaum. His Tiki Bar Review Pages website and book is a perfect example. We are personally acquainted with James and back in the day, we turned him on to many Tiki bars and restaurants. Before Tiki Central even existed we were sharing info and photos with anyone we thought might be interested. But eventually James' harsh assessment of some of these places turned us off and we slowly stopped sharing stories of the small, old, (admittedly run-down and well past their glory years) Tiki bars with him. We decided that if we liked them, we'd just go and enjoy them ourselves. We did not want to hear any negativity about something we happened to be very fond of. Here is a perfect example. There used to be a restaurant on Chicago's South side called "Beyond the Reef". We discovered it back around 1997, and soon became regulars visiting once or twice a month. We got to know the owner, Art (a former Trader Vic's bartender) and many of the regulars; the place was used as a meeting hall for the local VFW. In fact, Art asked me to be the event photographer one time when the restaurant hosted the VFW award ceremony. We loved the place and we loved Art. I even gave him a big black velvet Tiki painting I did, which he hung in the entryway. The place had a cool Witco carving that surrounded a support post, some bamboo huts for booths, a little thatch and some old Hawaii posters, but it was really a shadow of its former self. Often we'd take friends with us to sip mai tais and have some of their delicious food, but nobody seemed to get as much enjoyment out of the place as we did. It was something very dear to us, and we were not interested in hearing James' critique or Tipsy McStagger's smart-ass remarks. So we did not bother to tell them. It was no secret really. Beyond the Reef was listed in the yellow pages for pete's sake! Anyone could have found it just as we did (and may have for all we know). Beyond the Reef closed before Tiki Central came into existence. We just resent people suggesting that we are greedy or selfish or somehow malicious if we haven't always run straight to the computer to trumpet every Tiki place we come across. I think we have shared a LOT with others in the effort to enjoy and promote Tiki. If we were as mean spirited as some people seem to believe we are, we'd have never opened our home to other enthusiasts, we'd have never tried to share our joy of collecting by doing Tiki Quest, we'd have never contributed at all to the forums here on Tiki Central, or to Tiki News, or Tiki Magazine, or done Exotica. Perhaps I am partly responsible for giving people who are inclined to assume the worst the opportunity to do so. When asked why we did not announce the existence of this former Tiki Restaurant earlier, I remained silent rather than share my true feelings or reasons. For that I am regretful. Perhaps if I had made my position clear from the beginning there would not have been any speculation. I never responded before when I read nasty, untrue comments made by others because I was taught to believe that you don't even dignify that kind of remark with a response. If it was just Tipsy I wouldn't waste my time, because frankly he's just kind of a little prick. But when I hear other people, including Sven, repeating the rumor, and now Tipsy McStagger calling me a "huge scumbag" in a public forum: http://www.tikicentral.com/viewtopic.php?mode=viewtopic&topic=26308&forum=2&start=0 I feel that I'm obligated to speak up. Feelin' that aloha spirit! -Duke p.s. As I re-read this for my usual typos, I'm struck by how silly, stupid, and trivial this all sounds. Am I actually having to defend myself for not having posted on a chat forum the existence of an old Tiki bar location? I mean, it's not like it was some deep dark secret. It was only on page 156 of the Book of Tiki which came out in, what, the year 2000?

There has been something bothering me for some time now and I decided that I should address it here.

Some people have been spreading rumors, making underhanded comments and casting dispersions about my wife Amy and myself and we are tired of hearing things second hand and reading snarky comments on Tiki Central.

This all relates to an old Tiki restaurant in Kalamazoo, MI. The former Tur Mai Kai. We shared news of the closing of the restaurant in this thread: http://www.tikicentral.com/viewtopic.php?topic=7093&forum=1 Subsequently another thread has continued the history of the place:
http://www.tikicentral.com/viewtopic.php?topic=22069&forum=1 Apparently, since we didn't post prior to the closing, people have construed that we had diabolical intentions. Some people would like to think that we were keeping secrets in order to corner the market when the restaurant met its demise. Nothing could be further from the truth.

The reality of the situation is this. We had discovered the place still existed (what was left) quite a while before it closed. We did not post about it on Tiki Central for a few reasons. One of them was that is really was no great shakes. It was a very faint shadow of its former self. However, the main reason was that we were frankly tired of people being judgmental and critical of places that were not up to their high standards. People like James Teitlebaum. His Tiki Bar Review Pages website and book is a perfect example. We are personally acquainted with James and back in the day, we turned him on to many Tiki bars and restaurants. Before Tiki Central even existed we were sharing info and photos with anyone we thought might be interested. But eventually James' harsh assessment of some of these places turned us off and we slowly stopped sharing stories of the small, old, (admittedly run-down and well past their glory years) Tiki bars with him. We decided that if we liked them, we'd just go and enjoy them ourselves. We did not want to hear any negativity about something we happened to be very fond of.

Here is a perfect example. There used to be a restaurant on Chicago's South side called "Beyond the Reef". We discovered it back around 1997, and soon became regulars visiting once or twice a month. We got to know the owner, Art (a former Trader Vic's bartender) and many of the regulars; the place was used as a meeting hall for the local VFW. In fact, Art asked me to be the event photographer one time when the restaurant hosted the VFW award ceremony. We loved the place and we loved Art. I even gave him a big black velvet Tiki painting I did, which he hung in the entryway. The place had a cool Witco carving that surrounded a support post, some bamboo huts for booths, a little thatch and some old Hawaii posters, but it was really a shadow of its former self. Often we'd take friends with us to sip mai tais and have some of their delicious food, but nobody seemed to get as much enjoyment out of the place as we did. It was something very dear to us, and we were not interested in hearing James' critique or Tipsy McStagger's smart-ass remarks. So we did not bother to tell them. It was no secret really. Beyond the Reef was listed in the yellow pages for pete's sake! Anyone could have found it just as we did (and may have for all we know). Beyond the Reef closed before Tiki Central came into existence.

We just resent people suggesting that we are greedy or selfish or somehow malicious if we haven't always run straight to the computer to trumpet every Tiki place we come across. I think we have shared a LOT with others in the effort to enjoy and promote Tiki. If we were as mean spirited as some people seem to believe we are, we'd have never opened our home to other enthusiasts, we'd have never tried to share our joy of collecting by doing Tiki Quest, we'd have never contributed at all to the forums here on Tiki Central, or to Tiki News, or Tiki Magazine, or done Exotica.

Perhaps I am partly responsible for giving people who are inclined to assume the worst the opportunity to do so. When asked why we did not announce the existence of this former Tiki Restaurant earlier, I remained silent rather than share my true feelings or reasons. For that I am regretful. Perhaps if I had made my position clear from the beginning there would not have been any speculation.

I never responded before when I read nasty, untrue comments made by others because I was taught to believe that you don't even dignify that kind of remark with a response. If it was just Tipsy I wouldn't waste my time, because frankly he's just kind of a little prick. But when I hear other people, including Sven, repeating the rumor, and now Tipsy McStagger calling me a "huge scumbag" in a public forum: http://www.tikicentral.com/viewtopic.php?mode=viewtopic&topic=26308&forum=2&start=0 I feel that I'm obligated to speak up.

Feelin' that aloha spirit!
-Duke

p.s. As I re-read this for my usual typos, I'm struck by how silly, stupid, and trivial this all sounds. Am I actually having to defend myself for not having posted on a chat forum the existence of an old Tiki bar location? I mean, it's not like it was some deep dark secret. It was only on page 156 of the Book of Tiki which came out in, what, the year 2000?

Post #343767 by boutiki on Tue, Nov 13, 2007 9:56 PM