"South Sea Island Magic" -- tragic! - Tiki Music

CV Carmine Verandah Grand Member (1 year) Denver area Joined: Oct 23, 2007 Posts: 107	CV Carmine Verandah Posted posted on Sun, Dec 16, 2007 11:06 PM La Verandah really must vent. The spousal unit and I last week attended his cousin's middle daughter's housewarming and Hannukah party at which there was a festive exchange of "white elephant" presents. While dear hubby found himself stuck with a ceramic trio of weiner dogs, I thought myself fortunate to unwrap an untouched-looking vintage record set of Pacific Island music. Something Reader's Digest produced in 1968, "South Sea Island Magic" using THE MAGNIFICENT NEW DYNAGROOVE SOUND. Having become a fan of such vintage stars as Terorotua and His Tahitians, I must say I was thrilled to receive a trove of new (to me) music. Finally got around to putting the vinyl on my phonograph and... Oh. Dear. Heaven. If you could compress Velveeta into a flat, hard disc it would sound like this "music." Reader's Digest was obviously too cheap to get recordings of these lovely old standards done by the people who made them lovely old standards. It hired a bunch of knock-offs insteads. Four records of "The Islanders" and the "Kalua Beach Boys" and a "Louis Nunley" and various sundry unknown males and their equally unimpressive "orchestras" churning out the blandest most over-orchestrated versions you should never hear. After giving each record a brief listen on one side, I finally decided that my dental work needed to be spared further grinding. Dyangroove, shynagroove! La Verandah proclaims that it's SCHMALTZ! -- as her in-laws (the older ones who still speak Yiddish) would say -- and the hell with it! The question now, mesdames and misters -- what shall La Verandah do with the lot? It's far too awful to release into the general population. Does anyone know of one of those quaint shooting ranges where people yell, "Pull!" and something goes flying into the air to be shot into smithereens?

La Verandah really must vent.

The spousal unit and I last week attended his cousin's middle daughter's housewarming and Hannukah party at which there was a festive exchange of "white elephant" presents.

While dear hubby found himself stuck with a ceramic trio of weiner dogs, I thought myself fortunate to unwrap an untouched-looking vintage record set of Pacific Island music. Something Reader's Digest produced in 1968, "South Sea Island Magic" using THE MAGNIFICENT NEW DYNAGROOVE SOUND.

Having become a fan of such vintage stars as Terorotua and His Tahitians, I must say I was thrilled to receive a trove of new (to me) music. Finally got around to putting the vinyl on my phonograph and...

Oh. Dear. Heaven.

If you could compress Velveeta into a flat, hard disc it would sound like this "music." Reader's Digest was obviously too cheap to get recordings of these lovely old standards done by the people who made them lovely old standards. It hired a bunch of knock-offs insteads.

Four records of "The Islanders" and the "Kalua Beach Boys" and a "Louis Nunley" and various sundry unknown males and their equally unimpressive "orchestras" churning out the blandest most over-orchestrated versions you should never hear.

After giving each record a brief listen on one side, I finally decided that my dental work needed to be spared further grinding. Dyangroove, shynagroove! La Verandah proclaims that it's SCHMALTZ! -- as her in-laws (the older ones who still speak Yiddish) would say -- and the hell with it!

The question now, mesdames and misters -- what shall La Verandah do with the lot? It's far too awful to release into the general population. Does anyone know of one of those quaint shooting ranges where people yell, "Pull!" and something goes flying into the air to be shot into smithereens?

Post #349907 by Carmine Verandah on Sun, Dec 16, 2007 11:06 PM