Post #364609 by bigbrotiki on Mon, Mar 3, 2008 11:51 AM

Oh my god! THIS must be the "Maltese Falcon" of Tiki! The portrait of Trader Vic's PET CHICKEN, sculpted by the Trader himself!

When Vic was a young boy, he was a vegetarian, and his family was very poor. One day at the market, he saw a woman who was just going to wring a chicken's neck, and Vic saved it by offering to work for the witch for ten years for free. From that day on, the boy and the chicken were inseparable. But when the family came upon especially hard times and had not eaten for a week, it was decided to slaughter the chicken for nourishment. Vic knew that family came first, and killed the chicken himself. But to get up the nerve to do so, he asked for some liquor, and all that was in the house was some old rum. When they ate the chicken, he joined in out of hungry desperation, and to his surprise, he really liked it. He turned into a meat-loving connoisseur over night, but was only able to get the stuff down with ample amounts of rum. Vic then decided that he had hit upon a formula that might work with other people, too, .....and the rest is history!

Years later, after he had become a successful business man, he remembered his initial inspiration and sculpted this replica of his long gone pal. But one of his sons snuck into his studio while he was taking a break, and, being a little child, he thought daddy's sculpture looked kind of boring, and he got out his finger paints and put garish stripes of color all over the clay. When the Trader saw this, he became so furious that he disinherited his son. This son later went into business with the son of Steve CRANE to start a rival restaurant chain called "Trader Chick", but it miserably failed. The End.

And don't get me started with the weird tubes in the chicken, that's a whole nother tragic story....

[ Edited by: bigbrotiki 2008-03-03 14:44 ]