Post #398720 by The Gnomon on Mon, Aug 4, 2008 6:18 AM

While I generally go strawless, here are the Top Ten Reasons for Having a Straw in Your Tiki Drink:

10. You can select straws that match or clash with your Aloha shirt for eye-popping effects

11. You can blow bubbles with it to attract the attention of a pretty wahine

12. You can you can jam pieces of ice at the top down into the drink to chill the bottom

13. You can extract the true essence of your drink out from under the ice

14. You can selectively drink different layers of layered drinks

15. You can stare past your straw while you scan the room for breastesses

16. You can mark your territory by spraying small quantities of your drink with it

17. You can use it as a fine musical instrument

18. You can use it as a blowgun for sport or self-defense

and the number 1 reason for having a straw in your tiki drink:

1. You can sample your neighbors' drinks while they're looking the other way