Post #422896 by Numatiki on Tue, Dec 9, 2008 2:36 PM

The best way to keep anything from happening to the place is to keep the barstools full! You have to go to the Tonga Room often, make yourself known, become like Norm from Cheers so that everyone knows your name. And you have to tell everyone you know the same. The more asses in seats the less likely anything will get knocked down.
To that point, here's the tale of my first adventure to the Tonga Room. My fiancee, albino tiki, and I went to the Tonga Room early this fall. As albino said, she's been many times over the years, and her mother really does have some great stories about working at the Fairmont back in the day.

Well, we went to the Tonga Room on a Sunday night. The place opened at 5 or so, with the band due to appear at 8pm. We arrived right around 6 and noticed that there was almost no one in the restaurant. We ask if it were possible to get a seat for dinner. The host proceeds to tell us that he has no tables until 8, coincidentally right when they start charging $5 a head cover for the band. Fine with us, we just head to the bar and proceed to eat there.

Now, another group of folks came in a few minutes later and we overhear the very same conversation. They wanted a table, the host says they're booked until 8. That group left and never returned.

Here's the thing. We sat at the bar sampling many of the drinks on their menu and feasting on some appetizers. We stayed for a couple of hours, right up until about 8. In that time, we saw maybe three tables get seated in the restaurant -- leaving DOZENS of open tables. It seemed pretty obvious to us that the host was funneling all inquiries into 8pm and later reservations just in order to get an extra $5 per person out of the guests. Why would you turn away guaranteed cash in hand at 6 in the hopes of getting a few extra bucks for a later reservation (we have no idea how many other folks came in looking for dinner only to be turned away)? And why open the restaurant at 5 or 6 if you only want people eating after 8? It certainly wasn't for lack of available tables.

As to the drinks - well, the less said, the better, I suppose. Everything was serviceable, and the bartender was pleasant enough, if not particularly chatty or interesting. But the drinks lacked that flair that we all here come to expect from our tropical drink preparations. I was paying strict attention as our man made drinks for us and everyone else. Other than blended drinks, I don't recall anything being shaken. It was pretty much dump ice in the glass, dump liquor on the ice, dump juice/mixer on top of that, slap on a garnish, then serve. No style, no care. Maybe they bring out the second or third string players for Sunday nights, but that's all I have to go on.

After our visit, we were pretty much in agreement that we could get better drinks, better service, and better "tikiness" at any number of other places in preference to the Tonga Room.