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MadDogMike
Grand Member (8 years)
The Anvil of the Sun
Joined: Mar 30, 2008
Posts: 10871
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Thanks Buzz, here's that info for ready access
On 2007-11-24 12:45, Bay Park Buzzy wrote:
GMAN, let's see the man room update!
But let's talk about the above outfit...
Nice try, but you still need a little work before you will blend in at an event as a official Tiki Guy. You still look like you're wearing a Tiki Guy costume. Here is what you will need to change: (This is a preview of what you will look forward to in one of the dozen or so books I have on tap to author in the next few years. It will be in the same format as the Preppy handbook in the 80's. It will probably called Tiki Guy Modern)
First, the footwear. You got it half right with sandals and socks. But, you have the wrong sandals. You need those big strappy velcro things called "Teevas" with the socks. Tiki Guys need shoes with more straps because they get so drunk that they always lose shoes without seatbelts.
Secondly, Tiki Guys always wear shorts. Tiki Guy is about a state of mind. It's taking the Polnesian paradise at home fantasy to it's extreme. It's bringing the polynesian atmosphere wherever you are. A Tiki Guy on the summit of Mt Everest will be wearing shorts and drinking a Mai Tai, because in his mind, he is actually in Tahiti, where it's too hot to wear pants.
Third, is the shirt. That shirt you have on is only acceptable in the following situations: Casual Friday at the office, or if you are a contrator with your office in the back seat of your F350, it is what you wear to a business meeting(tucked in). Tiki Guys wear shirts that announce that they have arrived. the highest honor for a true Tiki Guy is to be asked to enter a costume contest when he is wearing the same outfit he wears to the grocery store. Try a lot more color. Remember, you want the old you to want to kick the new you's ass!
Next, The hat. Three letters: F-E-Z Problem solved!
And, Tiki Guys always wear sunglasses or have racoon eye tan lines. You can fake this easily with some spray on tan.
Lastly, the bling pendant: perfect! It actually almost negates all the other flaws in your attire.
Do all the changes I suggested and trade in that tiki you're holding for a ceramic limited edition numbered tiki event mug (that you bought on ebay) full of liquor, and you're on the Official Tiki Guy Registry.
If anyone else needs help with their aspiring Tiki Guy attire, just post a picture and I'll do the Tiki Guy version of What Not To Wear.
Buzzy Out!
Buzzy I assume the offer still stands, we post a picture and you'll critique the attire?
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