Post #474667 by woofmutt on Tue, Aug 4, 2009 11:52 PM

BahookaKing? Is that like Hawaiian for Burger King? Cool.

I have heard (or just made up...It's difficult to tell anymore) that the key thing to having your Tiki Central handle changed is getting Hanford really really drunk.

He can't just be really drunk cuz he's used to operating normally in that condition (or so I read on a note passed to me by someone who has been to California. I think.)

Anyway, you just happen to run into him at whatever bar he's drinking breakfast that morning and start buying him drinks and get him really really drunk. (If he says he never has more than 5 drinks before noon you can usually get him to drink more by pointing out that it's already noon in Washington DC and he can bet his sweet ass that the fat cats are havin' plenty of drinks on his dime right at that very moment.)

When he's really really drunk you casually notice for the first time whatever new tech gizmo he's dragged along to the bar. After he raves on for a bit about the wonder and the majesty of his new toy you say "It doesn't look like that big a deal to me. I bet you couldn't even change my Tiki Central name from here with it."

The rest sorta works itself out after that and while he's staggering around the bar hollering "Look what I just did! Look what I just did!" you can slip out the door and into your new life as [YOUR NEW TIKI CENTRAL ID HERE].

After you get your name changed be sure to make a big announcement about it in the forum of your choice. As a reason for your name change cite your new maturity, recent acquittal, desire to get in touch with your ____ roots, or your love of Hawaiian Whoppers.

Another option is to be vague and mysterious suggesting the name change was done for personal reasons you don't want to go into. But mention it several times so we'll all really really want to know. That is until something shiny catches our eyes and we forget who you are or were.