Post #551023 by tiki mick on Mon, Aug 30, 2010 8:30 AM

I woke up this morning and discovered that overnight I had turned into a Gangster. This was not something I planned. It just happened. But you wanna know something? It seems to fit. I like the silver wings on each side of my head! I liked putting on the wife beater shirt and suspenders this morning! Perhaps tomorrow I will wear the designer track suit. I already bought a few bottles of spray tan.

On my way to work, some jack-off cut me off with his car, and I discovered that I like hitting people over the head with my shovel, taping them up and then putting them in my trunk (to worry about later). True, my co-workers are wondering why my car is shaking and there appears to be muffled screams coming from it, but I can easily explain it all away.

The way I figure it, this will be an easy way for me to score some extra loot. I noticed a truck parked down the street. What’s in it? Crates of frozen shrimp? Boxes of Bic razors? Women’s fur coats? Well, I will find out tonight, as I intend to go back and see if it is still there. I already have some people lined up that will fence it for me, so it’s like free money!

One of my neighbors is doing some construction. I think I will go down and offer to help them with their union issues (the ones I will encourage, of course). I can shake them down for 10 large, at least!

The other day I bet 3 dimes on the Dodgers. They lost, of course.

But really, I am not a greedy guy.

So, what’s next?