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Beyond Tiki, Bilge, and Test / Bilge / new threads we need on Tiki Central

Post #558317 by GROG on Thu, Oct 7, 2010 10:23 AM

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GROG posted on Thu, Oct 7, 2010 10:23 AM

New threads we need on TC:

"Amazing lost Tiki temple discovered" It's been closed and forgotten for 50 years. The inside is like a time capsule. Built by Eli Hedly and decorated with tikis by Milan Guanko, Barney West, and Leroy Schmaltz. With amazing black velvet paintings by Leeteg.

"Witco and the Devolution of Tiki" :wink:

"Fire at Ken Ruzic 20 year Retrospective" All of his art was destroyed. Ironically, it was his own chain smoking that set it off. He'd still be with us if he hadn't rushed back in to save his favorite bong. Ravenne suffered some minor burns but will recover completely when she instinctively tried following him in, but the whole building collapsing in on Ruzic just as he entered saved her life.

**"Congratulations GROG on marrying the Playboy Playmate of the year!"**It's too bad she's a rich nymphomaniac with bisexual tendencies. But. living with her at the Playboy mansion helps ease the burden. GROG doesn't post anymore on TC because there's no internet available on the Playboy private jet they use constantly on their one year honeymoon trip around the world.

"Tom Thordarson's artistic talent magically transferred into GROG" Art has never been so effortless and fun before. GROG's last painting has been aquired by the Smithsonian, and he is starting on a commission for the President to be hung in the oval office.

"Lost Island paradise discovered by GROG and Playmate wife" At the end of his one year honeymoon trip around the world, GROG and his wife discover a lost Poleynesian island paradise. It's like Hawaii and Tahiti before they were discovered by the outside world. The topless women running around are the most beautiful women in the world. The men are the most accomplished tiki carvers the world has ever seen. The spirit of Aloha is stronger than it ever was on any previous Polynesian island. In the most extravagant Luau the world has ever seen, the islanders make GROG the honorary king of the island and present him with 25 of the most beautiful virgins on the island as his wives. He spends the rest of his life painting incredible black velvet paintings of beautiful wahines with the artistic talent he got from THOR, undisturbed by the outside world. His paintings become worth millions after he dies quietly and blissfully at the age of 105 after a night of satisfying his 25 newest virgin wives he was presented for his 50th anniversary as king. He goes down in history as the most beloved monarch the island has ever had. The whole world mourns his passing. The day he became king becomes an international holiday and is celebrated worldwide with extravagant luaus in his honor. A 50 foot gold statue of GROG sculpted by world renowned sculptor, SQUID is decorated in leis every year on the anniversary of his death. He is posthumously awarded the Nobel Peace prize and is put on the TIME Magazine cover as Man of the Century by retiring editor Woofmutt. Lucas Vigor's 8 grandchildren playing in their world famous band, the Blue Hawaiian Hula Girls, perform their #1 hit "The Mighty GROG" and it breaks all the music records as the most played song EVER and becomes bigger than any Elvis or Beatle song ever was. Sven Kirsten's granddaughter writes a biography on GROG's life which becomes an instant best seller and becomes the basis for a movie "The Passion of the GROG" which becomes the top grossing movie of all time and wins the most academy awards ever given to a single movie. Brad Pitt's oldest son, considered by People magazine as the most handsome actor in the world, plays GROG and wins the academy award hands down. A TV series spin-off becomes the longest running TV series of all time winning more Emmys than any other TV show in history. The Saturday morning cartoon series is beloved by children worldwide and is bigger than Barney ever was. Bamboo Ben's son becomes elected President of the United States due mainly to the popularity of the long running Bamboo Ben comic in Tiki Magazine which has become the largest, most circulated magazine in the world. Nick Camara's children fight over his multi-billion dollar fortune after he dies of heartbreak upon hearing of the passing of his good friend GROG. Crazy Al's commemorative GROG mug sets new records on ebay as the most expensive and sought after mug ever. The Tonga Hut, owned by Hiphipahula, is always completely packed and is the only bar licensed to sell "GROG" drinks. Her original drink, "The Passion of the GROG" is the number one Tiki drink of all time. Kirby carves a GROG pendant hoping it will finally get him in Tiki Magazine.


GROG
GROG miss Tiki-Kate

[ Edited by: GROG 2010-10-07 10:50 ]