Tiki Central / Tiki Travel / Club Nouméa's Xmas 2010 California Tiki Tour
Post #581268 by Club Nouméa on Tue, Mar 22, 2011 5:35 AM
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CN
Club Nouméa
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Tue, Mar 22, 2011 5:35 AM
Part 4: San Francisco "San Francisco is a mad city, inhabited for the most part by perfectly insane people.”
I could hardly go to the Bay Area without visiting its hub, the home of... Emperor Norton:
Oofty Goofty:
Mammy Pleasant, the Voodoo Queen:
Jim Jones:
The Zodiac:
The Trailside Killer:
O.J. Simpson:
... and the most notorious of all; Zippy The Pinhead:
Finally, the big day came; I was to be let loose in the streets of Frisco. Ms Nouméa grimaced as we drove across the Bay Bridge towards our destination: “Don’t call it Frisco!” “Well that’s what they call it in the songs – “that mean old Frisco and that low down Santa Fé!” as Muddy Waters used to sing." “You’re not in the 1940s now - call it “San Fran”!” She spent the rest of the passage across the Bay Bridge explaining to me the many differences between Oaklanders and San Franers... “And don’t call them San Franers!” she reprimanded. “They’re San Franciscoans.” “That’s long winded – could I just call them Friscoans?” “No!” Anyway, I learnt from her that, unlike Oaklanders, the hill people of San Francisco live in a land of perpetual fog and that they are lacking in various hallmarks of advanced civilization such as driveways, stand-alone letter boxes, and street parking. I was sternly warned that living cheek to jowl with each other all crammed together in little boxes on that tiny peninsula meant that they were all stir crazy and were unpredictable at the best of times. I was advised to be on my guard and to say as little as possible, as the charlatans and tricksters amongst their ranks were legion. And although the locals were used to having foreigners in their midst, they were frequently only interested in them as a potential source of pecuniary gain... Our first stop was the Fairmont Hotel’s legendary Tonga Room...
Which turned out to be closed until happy hour started somewhat later in the day.
Back on the street five minutes later, I suggested Chinatown as our next destination:
“I’ve always wanted to see one of those opium dens!” Ms Nouméa rolled her eyes skywards: “They don’t have opium dens in Chinatown!” Which turned out to be true; although we did find one at the Musée Mécanique on Fisherman’s Wharf.
I did however revel in the exoticism of Chinatown, and wondered about the supposed multi-culturalism of my homeland; a country that has had Chinese immigrants as long as California has, but where the Powers That Be made sure that nothing resembling Chinatown survived; to the extent that its despised Wellington equivalent (complete with opium dens, gambling houses and brothels) was eventually bulldozed out of existence in the 1930s: http://chinesecommunity.org.nz/documents/0000/0000/0037/Haining_Street.pdf (NB - slow download...) Somewhat at a loose end, we wandered and then drove around the streets, taking in historic spots, such as the corner of Washington & Kearney Streets (the site of the very first topless bar in the United States - 1885):
The house where Charles Manson lived (at 636 Cole Street at Haight) during the Summer of Love:
And the the bank that Patty Hearst robbed when she was with the Symbionese Liberation Army in 1974 (on 1450 Noriega at 22nd Ave):
Finally, Ms Nouméa had an idea that saved the day: a visit to the de Young Museum! Which happens to have a world-standard collection of art from Papua New Guinea:
Fortunately, by the time we had finished perusing the artifacts, the museum was about to close, and happy hour at the Tonga Room was about to begin... CN
[ Edited by: Club Nouméa 2011-03-23 16:56 ] |
