Post #659943 by White Devil on Wed, Nov 28, 2012 6:48 AM

Holiday hypocrisy. Not that hypocrites don't exist year-round, but as Scrooge's compatriot would say, “it is at Christmastime that it's most keenly felt.” They don't exist so much anymore with the popularity of Facebook, but those annoying, self-congratulatory annual letters people used to send out, listing and detailing all their accomplishments during the preceding year, including first bowel movements, colostomies and inductions into retirement homes. Oh, so your oldest was first in her class? How does that reflect on you? Self-importance with a glossy photo of the offspring and a cheerful stamp from a Postal Service that doesn't know how to do math. Happy New Year.

But my new peeve, not confined to the holidays by any stretch, is irony. I've seen glimpses of it here in the references to Mannheim Steamroller, but it's time for you under-thirties to stop hiding behind The Irony Curtain. You may think that watching Teletubbies, Scooby-Doo and The Star Wars Christmas Special while rolling your eyes and popping Pez is all ironic and self-conscious, but you're only trying to fool yourself. It's the low culture equivalent of eating your own boogers: enjoying something surreptitiously, in this case under the pretense of not really enjoying it. Of course this all ties back to your teen and pre-teen identity formation, but if you're over thirty and still raging about a style of music that “sucks,” it's time to grow up. Or rather, it's time to a) admit that what you're doing is something you truly enjoy, and b) admit that what other people think about that doesn't matter.

We don't surround ourselves with velvet paintings, Witco and monster face mugs because we enjoy the irony, we do it because we find virtue and pleasure in it. And most of us have the capacity to enjoy both low AND high culture, but sometimes our inner purists get the better of us. Sure, rockabilly's great. But so is progressive rock, jazz and lite classical. How can anyone keep a straight face while listening to George Shearing or Jackie Gleason, while accusing Mannheim Steamroller of being schlock?! It's all schlock, and it's all good: just enjoy and remember we're all adults now, and it doesn't matter if some of your acquaintances are still stuck making fun of what others like.

I'm not religious, but I do observe the gift-giving holiday while tolerating the music and keeping it all as minimalist as possible. I appreciate the authenticity of the tradition, and sometimes I even watch the Pope's celebration purely for the pageantry and the music. The older you get, the more you appreciate the rare quality of authenticity in the world.

So don't get me started on Kwanzaa and whatever it is the Wiccans pretend to do.