B
Joined: Apr 01, 2015
Posts: 1
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B
The Forrest was thick with foliage and serpents. Even the Olmec people spoke of these aborigines in legendary form. Yes, the Polynesians with their tall tales of shrunken heads, war boats, mai thais, and parties that last until dusk of yonder day. I reached the stone wall and what stood before me was a monolithic gate. The faces of revelry and tribal shindigs hieroglyphed the passage halls. Dangling skulls from what I feared to be people whom never quite caught a ride back down juneau boulevard. I removed my sketchbook and proceeded to take note at the exquisite condition of the remains from the archeological sight of perhaps the most impressive luau of 1979. What's this? A motif of divine nature! Ah yes, a riddle perhaps, yes i see now...
" What one can render, of concepts splendor. Cast down asunder, lest colors blunder."
Upon etching this cryptic jargon into my sketchbook (with what little #2 pencil I had) I heard a great drum looming the corridors. Growing incessantly louder, I could not flee, knowing that this could in fact be my last chance at gathering perhaps the greatest design phase reference wall photo this week. Totems of all sizes began to protrude from the soil beneath my feet, and a great gust consumed the passage. The vines encasing the walls parted and the scorpions scattered. What next was a spectacle no mere blogger could contrive. Out of each crypt stepped the Deities of their time; Rongo (the god of always going close to the edge but never quite crossing it) Lono (the god who was generally a nice guy but always wanted to fight someone if they were talking to his girl) Maui (The god of mythic heroism, surfing and bocci ball) and Shoody Doody (the designated driver who always seemed to forget he told everyone "I'll be the designated driver.")"Great and powerful party animals! What hath stirred you to have risen from yon tombs to standth before me?" I was fearful yet spake boldly.
Their response resounded like that of a tidal wave falling on village peons. "Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiightious Dude, we just wanted to let you know your welcome to come to our new hale on North Avenue. You are e komo mai ewa iki haole." Maui decreed, chastening his bamboo surfboard, decorative spears, and a tuna sandwich. "yeah Brah, were like totally catch'n a wave outta here asap, cuz Lono's a real lolo and forgot the 'ono pakalolo back in kalani. Besides this lu'au is a little dead."
Clearing my throat I interrupted "Gentlemen, um, im not endowed on the native tongue in which you speak, could you be so kind as to lessen your vocabulary unto laymen's terms as for the betterment of conversing?"
Rongo, the largest one, stepped forward sporting dozens of beaded leis and tribal warpaint that seemingly spanned the surface of his body. He spoke softly as he strummed a fine ornamental ukelele. "Easy Nui Tuna, we will teach you kupuna wisdom. Wisdom that Shoody Doody has learned ever since he got that iki wahine hapai. There is hope for lokahi makai."
"But what about this riddle? What about this ancient mystery of the greatest lu'au venue in Milwaukee or perhaps the midwest?"
Shoody Doody brought a large urn of strong drink up to his lips that frothed at his beard. "oh, it means you have to create out of a keiki spirit. Once Kan'e became kama'aina and grew akamai, he forgot how to have fun designing cool stuff. Don't get hung up on the little things in concept renderings, for they can be changed." He paused so as to take another pull of this ancient vessel, passing it off to Lono. "Rather work from the lu'au inside of you. Your kuleana is lokahi. Now e kala mai, I have hele shishi."
Four phantom sea creatures manifested to life out of the solid volcanic rock totems. Swooping under each Tiki brother the ectoplasmic tiger sharks bounded through the vast expanse of shifting seas, engulfing the alter of the great kahuna, making a wikiwiki stop at DQ for a blizzard, and finally arriving at the destination of WauwaTiki; Alas my friends, listen closely, Legend says even mere mortals can go there to party too. Just be patient as we pau hana, ok?
Shaka.
[ Edited by: BarronWolfgangVonDuck 2015-04-03 14:19 ]
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