Post #7671 by Tiki_Bong on Thu, Sep 5, 2002 9:37 AM

HUMUHUMU - I had a luau last weekend with the dreaded beer/tropical drinker situation myself.

At first I thought about somehow distracting the beer drinkers; maybe leaving a trail of bottle caps and other little shiny objects that would attract their attention out to a truck parked outside. They could 'ooh' and 'ahh' at the tires, engine and drive train for about 6 hours until my gig was over.

Or maybe I could get 6 hours worth of World Wrestling Federation CHAMPIONSHIP SMACK DOWN EXTRAVAGANZA BLOWOUT tapes, set up the TV in the back patio next to a keg of Miller, and let 'em have field day.

Or maybe I could show 'em where their belly button was and they could gaze with intense curiosity at it and pick the fuzz out for a few hours.

Eventually what I did do was a Darwinian attempt to co-mingle the 2 varied evolutions of Human/almost Human. I did however find it necessary to cage and sedate (Miller) one of the malt guzzling neanderthals after he became enraged when someone lit a tiki torch. The rest of them just gazed at the flickering flame until falling into unconscienceness.

My suggestion for a not-to-sweet tropical drink would be the Chief Lapu Lapu:

1 shot of gold rum
1 shot of dark rum
1.5 oz of orange juice
1 oz of sweet & sour
1 Tbs TV's Passion Fruit syrup

Good luck and be careful! (show the beer drinkers how to properly use a toilet, including washing their hands)