Post #94805 by Geeky Tiki on Sat, Jun 5, 2004 12:46 PM

Hadn't pondered this before.

When it comes to collecting anything, it is backward looking by definition, so the wistful part you describe makes sense to me. I feel the same way about photos. My wife loves taking pics, but when I look at them, even recent ones seem like they were from some other guy's life and he's gone now. There's a certain surreal feeling to pics that depersonalizes my memories.

On the other hand, music seems to recreate a good feeling or event. Music doesn't make me wistful in that way, but pics make me think about how the past is dead. To each his own, eh?

Mood-wise, I always think of Tiki as fixed in time, and when I go to a certain place or return to some certain group, everything is as it was - like when I'm not at the Mai Kai, it's in suspended animation until I walk back in the door. I feel like it's always available to tap into, so I stay pretty happy that way.

When a Tiki place closes, I don't quite think it really happened. I feel like it's still someplace, but either it's in a new location and I can't find it, or I'm just not allowed in any more. When loved ones have died, I get the same feeling.
I think this is a result of my brain having too closely identified with the school calendar as a kid - each June, everything reset and started again in September. So, each June, I think, "Well, So-And-So should be done being dead now," or, "Maybe that Tiki place I liked is done being gone."

That's really dumb, maybe I live in cyclical denial.

I also avoid going back to places I've worked or lived in before 'cause part of me feels like when I go back through the door, things will still be the same. I even avoid places I've liked. That's contradictory to the Tiki suspended animation thing.

Well, now I just need to alter my conciousness and straighten this whole thing out.

Sorry to have rambled.