What's the worst thing in your neigborhood? (not counting us)

What's in your neighborhood that's hideous? Some vulgar thing that gets your goat every time you pass it...it just does NOT belong?
(Not any of our charming stuff, we're eclectic that's different)

Have any of your neighbors...cemented up their lawn? or decided to make their bungalow into a Colonial house? Put bars up on the windows?

How about those flowery scented railroad tie above ground planters by your bedroom winter?

How about cutting huge old trees down so the birds wont poop on their car?

Maybe a motorhome in front of their house (or yours?) with a Shit-happens sticker?

How about do-it-yourself giant expansions that go to your property line?

Patio Swings? Arbors? Gazebos? Hoopas??

As fond as I am of these, and those buzzy quartz lights which I forgot to include...I have a strong dislike for flag poles on suburban houses.

What about you?
Hmmm?

[ Edited by: Gigantalope on 2004-11-18 20:32 ]

I can't handle all the SUVs in my area! I live in Walnut Creek, it's not like people here are all about driving up a damn mountain...and whats up with people driving Hummers??!! Gag!

But you gotta admit, your neighbors need 4Wheel Drive...and I'm sure they are muddy all the time too from hard use..

Vent, that's the ticket!

Oh man I've been wanting to vent forEVER!

We have this one rental property on the block, and everyone that lives there seems to be a few lime squirts short of a mai tai if you catch my drift...

Well the last people that were there had this huge dog that would always be sitting on the front lawn. It would come after Gypsy and I every time we walked past! They had this bed frame as a fence...while I appreciate the recycle/artsy fartsy factor, it hardly kept the dog in. On a plus side, right behind the fence they had a freaky bird cage full of doll parts. That was kind of cool.

This family, their dog and dolls are FINALLY gone, but the craptastic bed frame of a fence is still there. Now if I can only convince the trans am owner that illegally repairs vehicles in his driveway to move his white trash mobile away from the front of my house.

Other than that...nice and quiet around here!

The numnut neighbors acroos the street and 2 doors down painted there house yellow. I mean Neon bright yellow. Lemons think this house is too yellow. To make matters worse they painted the trim floresent green. Incredible hulk green.

Neighbors have tried talking to them, called the city, even threatened to repaint it while they weren't home.

Everyone that comes over to my house says "dude, are your neighbors blind?" My 82 year old grandmother said it best and I quote "oh..that just makes me stomach hurt looking at that".

Maybe I'll post a pic if I have time.

i have a 16 year old nieghbor with a new licence to drive and a lead foot. We tried to warn her to slow down as there are lots of kids on the block but she didnt. So i called the cops and then got the 6 other nieghbors to call. What finally did it was when my nieghbor , who is a cop called and complained , she now doesnt drive because her parents cant afford her insurence hike from the tickets she got.

Once a year, Simi Valley sponsors "Cow Chip Bingo" -- signs get plastered everywhere...

Who are these people paying money to see a cow plop and what are they doing in my town???

Laney will like this: The Salty Whore..... a neighbor's beat-up, run down motorhome, the kind that has big globs of caulking around the windows & duct tape holding some of the siding on.... it actually says "The Salty Whore" in peel-n-stick vinyl stickers across the back...

the only road trips it ever sees these days is its move to the other side of the street on street sweeping day......

On 2004-11-18 23:26, Traderpup wrote:
it actually says "The Salty Whore" in peel-n-stick vinyl stickers across the back...

I was wondering who bought my old motorhome!

I do hate flag poles, but must admit one flying these would be okay...or the hide of a Mime.

http://www.after5catalog.com/product/466.aspx

http://www.edbydesign.com/books/B0000AY35E.html

I dunno. I'd like to be able to paint my house lemon yellow without worrying about neighbours giving me the hairy eyeball for it. I mean, if I buy a house, shouldn't I be able to paint it any damn colour I like?

Does that mean my planned A-Frame frontage for the house or 6 ft Moai will be in bad taste?

Next door neighbors-single mom with (we think) two sons.One is a drug dealer,the other thinks he's Keith Moon,drums away his afternoons.Haven't seen the drug dealer son for a while-my husband saw him get busted when he was out walking.The mom does all the leaves and stuff.They always wave and say hello,so as long as they stay away from our daughter,they're o.k.

On 2004-11-19 05:15, Kon-Hemsby wrote:
Does that mean my planned A-Frame frontage for the house or 6 ft Moai will be in bad taste?

hey kon, post a picture of your house/ neighborhood! we can photoshop some artist's renderings of the above for you to present to your neighbours :) brilliant!

Personally, I couldn't a fart what my neighbors think!!! LOL!!!

Matty

On 2004-11-19 05:15, Kon-Hemsby wrote:
Does that mean my planned A-Frame frontage for the house or 6 ft Moai will be in bad taste?

the other side of the coin is (for me) I would have serious problems living in a place with CCRs restricting what color I could paint my door, or how long I could leave my garage open.

Why would Laney love the Salty Whore Wotor Home?

On 2004-11-19 08:15, Gigantalope wrote:
the other side of the coin is (for me) I would have serious problems living in a place with CCRs restricting what color I could paint my door, or how long I could leave my garage open.

Thats exactly what Cerritos, Ca. does. I cant even park overnight on the street in front of my own house on a weekend. ALso you can only use certain city approved mailboxs for your house as well as color to paint your home.

OK - my next door neighbor's rotten kids (and maybe some friends) shot BB's into my daughters bedroom window - witch eventually cracked it.

Thankfully they paid for it with minimal fuss - but jeez - what a pain to get the window replaced...

(This just in - Laney wants to make sure that everybody knows I was a perfect angel as a child & completely innocent when it came to "neighborhood pranks"...)

"Oh mystic powers - hear my call...
From my limbs, let new life fall..."
http://www.christophermerritt.com

[ Edited by: Tangaroa on 2004-11-19 10:05 ]

there's always one eyesore/white trash abode in every block, and when I look outside my front door, I can't see any. It must be me!

I have the plastic tikis staple gunned to my front porch, with turqoise cement Fu Dogs and a dilapidated chair growing rosemary and chives out of it. overgrown monster geraniums. oh, and my rusty ba gua mirror over the door.

on the back patio, sort of visible to neighbors, the purple and green x-mas lights come on every night due to the automatic timer. a dark green gnome bird feeder on top of a dirty wooden stool. I think the coconut monkey windchimes make it all classy though.

I have neighbors who never take down their Christmas decorations.

I'm not just talking about lights on the outside of houses, but all holiday decor.

It's not unusual to drive through my neighborhood in July and see a house with a fully decorated artificial tree in the living room window.

On 2004-11-19 11:27, cynfulcynner wrote:

I have neighbors who never take down their Christmas decorations.

I'm not just talking about lights on the outside of houses, but all holiday decor.

It's not unusual to drive through my neighborhood in July and see a house with a fully decorated artificial tree in the living room window.

I agree, year-round christmas decor has to be the worst, and the most common. Tons of houses around me have those ugly-ass 'icicle' lights hanging off their porches and gutters all year, and almost all of them have sections that are falling down because the cheap clips have broken or fallen off.

My decorations go up the day after Thanksgiving, and come down the day after Christmas. Not one minute later.

Damn it, did it again, THIS IS LANEY! I accidentally posted as eel.

On 2004-11-18 23:26, Traderpup wrote:
Laney will like this: The Salty Whore..... a neighbor's beat-up, run down motorhome, the kind that has big globs of caulking around the windows & duct tape holding some of the siding on.... it actually says "The Salty Whore" in peel-n-stick vinyl stickers across the back...

the only road trips it ever sees these days is its move to the other side of the street on street sweeping day......

OH, OH, I just LOVE the Salty Whore!!!!
I have a different complaint, my crotchidy old neighbors have nothing better to do but keep their lawn perfect! I mean it looks like astro turf. They don't let their German Shepard 'go' in their front/back yard so several times a day they 'walk' him all over everyone elses lawns including mine.
They complain, with letters, about everything from a dog barking at gasp 9 PM (the wife goes to bed at like 7:30) to a palm leaf hanging over the fence in their back yard.
It makes me want to paint my house bright yellow, plant up and old bath tub, hang doll parts, and park the Salty Whore right in front of their house. They'll be able to hear their property value dropping, hehehe! Thanks for the ideas, keep 'em comming!

[ Edited by: eel on 2004-11-19 11:54 ]

that reminds me of one of my favorite children's books "the big orange splot"

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0590445103/qid=1100890591/sr=8-1/ref=pd_csp_1/002-6935431-2286445?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

where the whole block had perfect, ticky-tacky homes, and then one guy decides to turn his into a jungle-themed home. the neighbors complain, but then another turns his home into a ship, and so on. it's a cute story! and possibly the birth of my fascination with themed-homes and themed-rooms.

Laney that totally reminded me of one of my parents neighbors.

A duplex down the street. Two families, Johan and his son, who's about my age, and their dog Roland, a nice yellow lab who's great friends with Gypsy. The guy on the other side had this basset hound named Millie who could only hang out in the backyard. The tiny little 10' X 10' front yard was so manicured, he ACTUALLY VACUUMED IT! I am not kidding. He'd be out there with a canister vacuum on his hands and knees. That's soooo sad.

Another one of their neighbors painted their house pumpkin orange. Of course they left the brick, but everything else it this nice vomity baby diaper mess colour. Love-ley.

Now I'm all over crazy paint jobs, at least I appreciate being able to do whatever I want, but some people need to get their eyes checked.

Our neighbors across the street, who are a really nice family and swell neighbors, have a second story that looks like one of those homemade 60s campers that hippies built on the backs of the their pickups. It hangs precariously off the back of their house and is covered in brown shingles, while the rest of the house is pink stucco. Odd.

But the REAL eyesore is the parked truck I pass on the way home that has a bumper sticker with the names of a certain president and vice president. It's just obscene and makes me sick every time I see it.

On 2004-11-19 12:23, Tiki-bot wrote:
But the REAL eyesore is the parked truck I pass on the way home that has a bumper sticker with the names of a certain president and vice president. It's just obscene and makes me sick every time I see it.

As Nelson Mundt would say, "Ha-ha"

I live in a pretty modest 50's era development, a lot of nice little cookie-cutter yet cool (cape cods and ranches) brick homes. On the outskirts of the hood, just a couple blocks over, are some awsome, nice-sized, mid-century marvels. This is one solid street of 50's/60's modern and kitch houses! My complaint? Directly behind this row of glory sits a huge Wall Mart plaza, virtually right up to the backyards! Imagine sitting in your backyard and having your conversations drown out by the massive air-handlers on the roof of such a place not to mention the view!

There are also a number of people who speed and blast their bass systems through the nieghborhood which has a lot of very narrow streets and young families with children as well as elderly. My God! Does this mean i'm Old?
-FB

[ Edited by: FreakBear on 2004-11-19 12:59 ]

Tikiwahine-the vacuuming thing reminded me of a neighbor we had growing up who would (during locust season)vacuum up all the cicada shells with an old Hoover.We always thought that was a scream.

The people in my old neighbourhood used to hose off the sidewalks in front of their homes. Like if there was ONE TWIG, instead of picking it up, they would just aim the hose at it for 10 minutes until it finally inched off the sidewalk into the road.

On 2004-11-19 13:01, docwoods wrote:
Tikiwahine-the vacuuming thing reminded me of a neighbor we had growing up who would (during locust season)vacuum up all the cicada shells with an old Hoover.We always thought that was a scream.

Did you hear about the guy in Cincinatti who fried up and ate a whole panful of dead cicadae this year? I hear the smell was horrible. I'm sure he's a neighborhood favorite!
-FB

Luckily my wife and I moved from our old neighborhood 2 years ago or I would be writing on this topic for the next 3 months! Oh the hell with it...for ol' times sake... There was this group of people, might have been a family, couldn't really tell...there was always a bunch of scary looking, greasy, bearded guys hanging around with their heads buried under the hoods of an entire fleet of, I'm not exaggerating, 9 Chevy Novas. The unusual thing was that not one of the cars had a speck of paint on them or any components that would make them street legal. Earthshaking straight exhausts with no mufflers, big-ass drag slicks, rebel flag stickers, I think one of them even had a roll cage in it! But anyway, the one car that must have been the favorite was the orange primered dragster complete with wheelie bars and a blower. These assholes used to fire up that damn car hourly, every day of the f-ing week! They wouldn't drive it much but just crank it up, give it some gas and let it idle. The windows in our house used to vibrate in tune with their straight pipes! On occasion they'd take it out of the neighborhood and I'm not kidding, you could hear them getting into it on the Route 1 bypass at least 3 miles away! I don't miss those bastards one bit!

Our main eyesore has finally been removed but let me tell you about it. Directly across from us is a house whose occupants do not use a trash service. Instead, they had a trailer which was one of those pickup beds taken off the truck and made into a trailer to pull behind a truck. Weird in itself.
Anyway, they parked it in the driveway next to their front entrance and then proceded to add trash to it all winter. Finally in the spring when it warmed up and the mound of trash was heaped over the sides of the trailer, it still sat there for all the world to admire. Plus it began to ferment.
We finally had enough and went to the city codes administers office and filed a complaint. They moved it within a week.
However, it only went around the curve to the parking lot of the neighborhood pool.
It sat there for a while and then came back empty one day only to be placed back on the driveway to be reloaded. I thought I was gonna die. The irony of it is that when you spend so much time beautifying your place and the people across from you don't lift a finger, you have to look at their mess while their view is a lovely colorful well kept space.

Growing up we had a family that was a little eccentric to say the least. One year they painted their house a bright purple. Over the garage they put up a sign that said,

"I don't like the color of your house either"

Trustar

Quote:

Did you hear about the guy in Cincinatti who fried up and ate a whole panful of dead cicadae this year? I hear the smell was horrible. I'm sure he's a neighborhood favorite!

Shelac is actually made from Beetle shells, and is still in use to make Candy shiney.
Creepy?... yes??

I once had a neighbor who also never took out trash...did'nt want "the man" to know he lived there.

He burned dumpsterloads of crap...plastic, wood, rubber, anything.
If I hung my clotes outside to dry they smelled like a smouldering Carls Jr cup.

He dissapeared one night, and so did all the copper wires in the house.

creepy.

[ Edited by: gigantalope on 2004-11-20 00:29 ]

Hello from the beautiful Mission district in sunny San Francisco! I love my neighborhood, but here's a short list of things I could do without.

1. the methodone clinic across the street
2. the "medical marjuana" clinic down the street who's patients all seem to be in their 20's and very healthy.
3. the 50 or so homeless people that live within a couple of blocks of my building.
   4.the hundreds, if not thousands, of pigeons who seem to have formed a gang and are in a constant street battle with the homeless.
4. the freeway off ramp a couple of hundred feet from our front door that feeds most of central and western San Francisco.

Did you hear about the guy in Cincinatti who fried up and ate a whole panful of dead cicadae this year? I hear the smell was horrible. I'm sure he's a neighborhood favorite!
-FB

Nope havent heard of him, but check this out...

http://www.urhome.umd.edu/newsdesk/pdf/cicada%20recipes.PDF

Now, I know I am a chef and I should be open to "try" all kinds of food but I just can't. I always said the one thing for sure I would lose at in the TV show Fear Factor is eating all that wierd stuff.

And to Calneva - "3. the 50 or so homeless people that live within a couple of blocks of my building."

I'm sure when they are laying out there in the cold and rain and havent eaten in a week or so that they are thinking the same thing about people like you. You'd better pray to whatever higher being you worship to that it never happens to you.

Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our cooks - Lin Yutang

[ Edited by: Dimethios on 2004-11-20 10:09 ]

Dimethios...good point...make everyday Thanksgiving and all that...the dilemma being, if people work to hard to keep from becomming homeless that would include not screwing off at work. (inject Calvinistic/Knoxian rant here) And with that...who would post?
I would then loose my reason to exist and find myself becomming a freelance pharmasist on Crocker St in downtown LA too.

so it's all about ballance.

Here's another tidbit of loathing I have (And I know you have more so dig deep in your rants...it's all about cleaning this festering anger out)

On the other side of the block from me is a new Day-Care that I have to pass to come home. It's on a very busy street, and there is no child pick up window, so all the Moms in BMW SUVs...talking on cell phones back up...often 5 deep to pick up Chelsea and Brittany.

The other way in to my street has a School which is the same thing. (Nobody walks to school any more)...and nobody would ever admit thier SUV is a stationwagon...because their Mom had a stationwagon and "I'm not like her!"...so it looks like a parade of Exlplorers, H2s, Escalades, and all the rest stopped in the street,keeping me from being able to go thru a green light.

[ Edited by: Gigantalope on 2004-11-20 10:48 ]

I can't help noting that despite any of the negative points my neighborhood has there are abundant positives as well. While I'm certainly not fortunate enough to live in some posh historical district somewhere, I have found a slice of Heaven here that I'm able (for the time being) to call home. I also have some very compassionate neighbors that are always willing to lend a hand!

I definitely have to second that SUV thing! These are a ridiculous addition to any neighborhood! As well as "Truck Nuts" -- has anyone heard of these?

-FB

Truck Nuts? there is a long wierd strip between two cities that is unincorporated that has no curb. Big Rigs are often parked there.

They once would sleep there with the engine running, but that trend has stopped.

Is that what you mean FB?

There is also a large SBC box a few doors down, and the techs park there to work...they sometimes pee there too.

I don't mind that tho...it's about 100 yards away, and adds charm.

Truck nuts tho...???

"Truck Nuts" are a sort of automotive embellishment accessory. They seem to be made of a sort of solid molded neon colored plastic, and they "dangle" from the rear bumper or hitch of pickup trucks or SUVs. Oh yeah, they are shaped after the so-named "man-set","balls", etc.

There was a low-rise S 10 outfitted with a "pair" that used to shortcut through our neighborhood.

On 2004-11-20 13:07, FreakBear wrote:
"Truck Nuts" are a sort of automotive embellishment accessory. They seem to be made of a sort of solid molded neon colored plastic, and they "dangle" from the rear bumper or hitch of pickup trucks or SUVs. Oh yeah, they are shaped after the so-named "man-set","balls", etc.

There was a low-rise S 10 outfitted with a "pair" that used to shortcut through our neighborhood.

Bumper Nuts

Rev. Dr. Frederick J. Freelance, Ph.D., D.F.S

[ Edited by: freddiefreelance on 2004-11-22 15:01 ]

that's disgusting.
And you won't hear me say that very often :)

I don't really have any complaints about my neighborhood: I've lived in some really bad neighborhoods in my time so I don't really have a problem with much any more. The worst neighborhood was probably the east side of Hollywood around Hollywood & Western, some friends from South Central LA were afraid to visit me there. In one place part of my rent was paid by the manager since every morning I'd take the hanger bar from my closet (a six foot long, 2 inch diameter pole with rusty nails sticking out of the ends) & chase the homeless crackheads out of a back bungalow that was being renovated. I was living in that neighborhood again during the Rodney King riots, just a block from the Sears that was looted & burned to the ground, I ended up being docked a days pay when I couldn't get to work 'cause the National Guard was mobilizing on my street. I finally moved of that neighborhood for the last time after the Northridge 'quake, my apartment shook so bad that my desk exploded in the living room, all of my dishes broke in the kitchen, & everything in my medicine cabinet broke in the bathroom sink.

I'd usually alternate between East Hollywood & NW Pasadena, where Radical Enterprises (my old outlaw catering company) had been based. I remember having a Halloween party crashed by a crack dealer looking to make a sale, he eventually left after only making a couple sales (I guess business was slow for such a large group). In one place we had to patch the roof after most New Year's Eves & 4th of Julys to repair at least one bullet hole.

After leaving Hollywood for good I ended up in Sherman Oaks, right after the Northridge quake! I got free rent just so there'd be someone in the building. It was the last building on the block not condemned, & probably one of a dozen in a 5 block radius.

Yeah, I'm sick of SUVs, Semi's idling on neighborhood streets, my neighbors who stockpile their 4 year old's dirty diapers on their porch until their harridan screaming drives their 8 year old off the couch to drag the bag(s) over to the dumpster (of course the 8 year old isn't tall enough to get them in the dumpster...), etc., but all that seems minor compared to what I've seen & lived through in my life.

Jeez Louise! You all make me glad I'm living in an apartment complex in the suburbs! When we have "bad egg" neighbors or other problems, we just have the rental managers evict. Problem solved. Time for hot tubbin...

Home ownership? Been there, done that. Much happier now. On top of it all, I have a 10 minute commute to work, which does not involve getting on a freeway.

I have neighbors who seem to need their vehicles to be clean 24 / 7 and they do it to the point of prematurely wearing the paint and interior. I think it is their hobby other than mindless TV watching. Even in the winter, if the temperature climbs above freezing, they are out washing cars. I have seen the matriarch (there is no dad, go figure) outside in the dark with a shop light to see to vacuum and clean the interior. The best part is, her vehicle is garage kept. A few years ago, we had water restrictions that prohibited car washing and the use of soaker hoses for watering (open spray watering was ok, the logic escapes me since it is less efficient) They would actually sneak out in the middle of the night to wash cars! I had to chuckle though since the huge wet runoff hid my use of soaker hoses on my vegetable garden (hey, I do not give a rat's ass if my lawn is brown, but I do not want the man to mess with my ability to grow my own food).

On 2004-11-22 13:40, Tikiwahine wrote:
that's disgusting.
And you won't hear me say that very often :)

Tikiwahine, you're right, I've changed the image to a link. Around here I usually see'em on Dodge Ram trucks, so the guys seem to think they need the "Goat Sized" set...

I had to sit on this reply for a bit, I didn't want to turn this thread into a "Is it wrong not to want..." type rant. The homeless situation in SF is completely shameful. That one of the richest cities in the world has 15000+ people living on the streets is unreal to me. Personally I think that anyone who needs help should get it. If anyone has any ideas on how to fix this situation, would you please contact Mayor Newsom, because things don't seem to be getting any better. I suspect that since SF has decent weather and is a port town(which means it's continually being flooded with hard drugs), the situation isn't going to change. I realize that I shouldn't have treated such a heavy topic jokingly.

However, as a former "hoosier", it's good to get hit with a blast of piety every now and again. It reminds me of why I left Indiana.

[ Edited by: calneva on 2004-11-22 15:31 ]

On 2004-11-19 22:19, calneva wrote:

1. the methodone clinic across the street
2. the "medical marjuana" clinic down the street who's patients all seem to be in their 20's and very healthy.
3. the 50 or so homeless people that live within a couple of blocks of my building.
   4.the hundreds, if not thousands, of pigeons who seem to have formed a gang and are in a constant street battle with the homeless.
4. the freeway off ramp a couple of hundred feet from our front door that feeds most of central and western San Francisco.

Ahh, San Francisco! You should work for the tourist board.

The worst neighborhood situation I ever lived in was when I was in 3rd grade and we moved to Stanton. Okay all you OC-ers, make your fun! Knott & Katella. We lived in a condo next to a waste transfer station and a now-defunct army missile and radar installation (which was pretty cool when we were 8). We used to see the Nike missile launch tests from the schoolbus, just 500 feet away from us. Nothing like growing up at the height of the Cold & Vietnam wars.

On top of that, we had crazy stoner neighbors that we shared a wall with who played thumpin' loud music all the time. Their mid-teenage kids were so stoned and/or drunk they would pass out so hard that they didn't even wake up when the police pounded on their door. I wonder why they were never taken to child protective services.

It was all a step up from when we lived in Bell Gardens. The move to OC was around 1970, so I'm sure those places bear little resemblance to what they once were.