What's the worst thing in your neigborhood? (not counting us)

I spent the entire summer re-building my patio off of my bedroom and re-landscaping my backyard. ("Not bad for a girl", my Dad would say.)

My neighbor's lot is lower than mine, about 3 - 4 feet down. They built a retaining wall against our lot as we live close to the beach and our houses are built on a very sandy soil.

One day they decided to remove the "offensive" retaining wall as they claim it "Was just plain too ugly to look at."

Here's your irony:

...is that the sound of banjos I hear?

In this back yard is one broken down, rusted up swing set, a mattress that is tore up leaning against the back garage, 3 months worth of garbage tossed into the back yard, an gargantuan sattellite dish (non-operating), seven broken chicken coops, various rusted piles of metal, etc. Then they had the nerve to tell me I have to fix their fence! My actual plan is to move my fence line closer to my house so I can put a 6' fence up the side to block off the view.

Here's the other kicker. My neighbor directly across from me is a "Mrs. Kravitz" type who tells me wayyyyy more than I ever wanted to know about my neighbors. I avoid her like the plague. One day while snooping around she saw that the white trash neighbors next door had a pit bull on a 2 foot leash tied up in the pile of trash and called the authorities. I give her "props" for that. "Mrs. Kravitz" honestly believes that the people that live there are incestuous, the father son and daughter all live together, father in his 80's, kids in their 40's but the daughter has 2 kids and she swears she's never seen her leave the house or seen a man enter. I hate to think of what she tells people about me.

I saved you from showing you pictures of the front yard. Inevitable broken down vehicles, more rusty junk and trash, 4 feet of weeds, hanging trim, etc. They seem to park a new broken down vehicle in front of my house every month until the city finally tows it away.

Good times!

Ah yes. Very reminiscent to my former neighbors.

My then landlord had hired one of redneck brother neighbors to trim the landscape on our house. This included the hedge between the property lines, which hid their jungle of broken down cars and boats. I was shocked to discover that this neighbor's idea of aesthetic was to hack everything down to a stump and/or completely pulling it out of the ground. :x Glad I got to him before he ruined what was left of the lovely, overgrown FL yard.

[ Edited by: I dream of tiki on 2004-11-23 20:03 ]

Hmmm...

Well, we have all of those things: Homeless, greasy guys with seven broken down vehicles on the street or in the alley, trash in yards, etc.

What I'd call unusual though is the guy two doors down myself and the other neighbors have taken to calling "Dumptruck". As in, "Looks like Dumptruck is home from work."

Dumptruck, as is his namesake, drives a dumptruck. Not just for a living mind you, but he appears to drive a dumptruck everywhere. A giant blue deisel powered dumptruck. Dumptruck trip with the wife to the grocery store. Dumptruck out on a saturday night on the the town.

He also hates to turn the engine off apparently. So great is this hatred of shutting the massive beast down, that every day around noon or one, the dumptruck is parked on the street out front in front of some unfortunate souls home (never in front of his own house of course) idling away for hours on end.

Real nice in the spring with the windows open. Mmmmmmm-mmmm Dieselicious!

We also seem to have about 17 neighborhood Eminem clones that spend most of their days and nights vandalizing, screaming, fighting, breaking and entering, etc.

Small wonder that I should drink.

On a positive note, I will say that things are getting better in the neighborhood. The problem types are slowly disappearing.

Nobody is sure why they are leaving, but it's okay with me. Good for property values I s'pose.

In the meantime I'll just keep on inviting them over for a "drink" in my "basement bar". Got lots of space left...and concrete is so cheap.

Ahu

Stuff-o!
Splendid photos...get's my angst up just peroozing them.

Ku Ku Ahu
Great story too...FYI.A lye pit is cheaper than concrete.

On 2004-11-22 13:12, freddiefreelance wrote:

Bumper Nuts

---

Rev. Dr. Frederick J. Freelance, Ph.D., D.F.S

[ Edited by: freddiefreelance on 2004-11-22 15:01 ]

Rev. F,

Those are the ones! Thanks for the clarify!

-FB

On 2004-11-23 21:07, Gigantalope wrote:

Ku Ku Ahu
Great story too...FYI.A lye pit is cheaper than concrete.

Lye pit. Check. Thanks.

Oh, and uh...by "lye pit" you mean to say "hot tub" right?

As in "Come down to the basement and check out my hot tub."?

Ku Ku

ohh this topic is the source of frequent heartache between myself and friends..

currently we're living pretty much down by the docks, on the wrong side of the tracks, in the bad side of town, about 2 blocks from the native reservation...

our house is a very old apparently former miner's "shack" (2 tiny bedrooms, small living room, huge kitchen etc etc) our neighbours have an identically sized house.. I think it's layed out a bit better.. but there's umm.. about 7 people living there? about 5 kids plus parents.. anyhoo.. perhaps due to the obvious space restrictions they've set up a lean-to in their back yard and have lawn chairs and a tv set up in it.. I think it's their living room.. needless to say we're not planning on spending much time in the back yard until we can add some privacy fencing to the chain link fence that separates our back yards.. there is also a baby stroller perminantly parked in their front lawn, along with all the discarded toys and garbage their kids play with (most of which ususally ends up on our lawn, and leaning against our house (the houses are only about 10-15 feet apart with no fence separating in the front..

my OTHER rager.. is how east vancouver is being torn down and rebuilt into a pink stucco lego box freaking suburb.. it's DISGUSTING how developers can come and buy perfectly beautiful bungalows and 50s RANCHERS and completely DEMOLISH them, splitting the lots and building two idenitcal, HIDEOUS boxes with no yard where one beautiful house and spacious yard once stood.. this includes ripping out enormous trees and 60 years of well maintained landscaping.

I'm not going to play the race card with who's consistently doing this, but if you've ever been to vancouver ... nuff said.
I have been reduced to tears on more than one occasion walking past lots watching bulldozers raze to the ground houses I used to love looking at..

we snuck into the aforementioned rancher the day before they tore it down and it had the original curved walls and built ins from the 50s, a picture window about 6ft wide looking over downtown vancouver, inlaid hardwood floors, the orginal 50s formica kitchen with copper tiled backsplash.. I salvaged a couple of cupboard door handles.. but the place is gone like it had never existed.
to this day I get bummed out when I think about it.

On 2004-11-24 02:59, Velvet Ruby wrote:
I'm not going to play the race card with who's consistently doing this, but if you've ever been to vancouver ... nuff said.

Ah, the "Race Card." Say no more, I think we can all agree that we prefer to not live next to Nascar fans...

On 2004-11-24 14:52, freddiefreelance wrote:

Ah, the "Race Card." Say no more, I think we can all agree that we prefer to not live next to Nascar fans...

Laffs!

Ahu

NASCAR fans

I'm certain that you must be referring to Dachshund Racing... 'nuff said.

[ Edited by: ZebraTiki on 2004-11-24 17:15 ]

Hey there Velvet Ruby, I was mulling over your post this afternoon at work.

I too hate the idea of cool old houses being torn down and crap being built, as I'm sure other people do...especially the people in the neighborhoods where it's happening.

If I were you (and you wish to persue it) find out what company has been used as a builder.

Call them, acting as though you have property you want subdivided, and built on...and ask what group of do-gooders are a pain in the ass to these projects.

The people they name will become your new friends.

also go to the recorders and tax collectors office and find who is buying these propertys and doing this. (this is often info available on line) and keep a close eye on what they buy and sell.

When they buy any piece of property (and it's recorded) become a pain in the ass in the neighborhood.

Of course it's anyones right to buy property and improve it (Real Estate principles involving highest and best use of land...kinda leans towards higher density) but if you can get tax payers who own property to organize against this sort of thing...you can become quite influential.

best not to mention anything involving race...except of course Johnny Quest's pal, Race Bannon.

On 2004-11-24 18:25, Gigantalope wrote:
Hey there Velvet Ruby, I was mulling over your post this afternoon at work.

I too hate the idea of cool old houses being torn down and crap being built, as I'm sure other people do...especially the people in the neighborhoods where it's happening.

If I were you (and you wish to persue it) find out what company has been used as a builder.

Call them, acting as though you have property you want subdivided, and built on...and ask what group of do-gooders are a pain in the ass to these projects.

The people they name will become your new friends.

also go to the recorders and tax collectors office and find who is buying these propertys and doing this. (this is often info available on line) and keep a close eye on what they buy and sell.

When they buy any piece of property (and it's recorded) become a pain in the ass in the neighborhood.

Of course it's anyones right to buy property and improve it (Real Estate principles involving highest and best use of land...kinda leans towards higher density) but if you can get tax payers who own property to organize against this sort of thing...you can become quite influential.

best not to mention anything involving race...except of course Johnny Quest's pal, Race Bannon.

As it happens I moved out of vancouver about three months ago, (onto Vancouver Island) but I'm definately going to pass on your ideas to my friend who is also appalled at what's happening in the neighbourhood where she and her husband are now property owners.. I understand what you're saying with regards to my uncooth comment.. sadly however, I've yet to see the exeption to the rule.. that's all I'll say about that..
It seems the destruction is more prevailent in the poorer areas of Van. (where properties are cheaper) as the residents of the richer west side DO kick up a stink when old buildings get torn down.. I don't know.. poorer neighbourhoods = run down buildings or rental properties = headaches for people who just want to make a big profit at the expense of everything else.

Luckily there are still places where people do go through the trouble of renovating what they have.. Nanaimo, where i live now is an example of that.. I live in a very poor neighbourhood and there are a lot younger people buying up older homes in the area and renovating what they have instead of tearing it down.. It gives me a bit of hope that there might still be nice houses left to buy when I'm finally in the position to do so

:)

until then I'll just mix myself another drink.

The neighbor across the street from us recently put up a lovely black metal gate across his driveway, complete with gold lions. Damn, I hate that thing.

I lived in an illegal 'cottage' in the mission in SF, it was about 6' x 25' one room, leaky moldy walls, toilet, shower, stove, sink, and mini fridge at one end, and loft bed at the other. It was in the backyard of a Victorian, and we shared the yard. After about 4 months, the owner moved to New Mexico and rented the house to 2 ladies, and their pit bull. It was the winter of the el nino, and it rained for 40 days straight. They decided that it was easier for them if they let the pit bull poo in the yard, and clean it up every 4th day or so. The 'yard' was about 10 feet of cement between my tiny cottage and their house, plus a long breezeway/ path that went between the houses, and from the yard to the street. It was my entry, and it had no light. Every night for about 6 months, I dodged, or not, gigantic piles of poo, lived with the stench of dog pee and poo, and risked my life by opening the gate and being cornered by a vicious pit bull. I wrote about 10 letters to the landlord, and she 'talked to them about the dog' but she was in New Mexico, so they didn't give a shit (the dog however, different story, gave several steamy piles a day) They actually told me when I approached them, hysterical after being cornered by their dog, that they thought I was being unreasonable. I thought I was losing my mind.

I finally moved, but it gave me great perspective on living situations. I've had some horrible renting situations, I think SF is a really unfriendly renters town, which sucks because so few people can actually afford to buy. I guess that's why.

Our house now is awesome, we have great neighbors, for the most part. Our 90 year old next door neighbor's nephew moves her car out of her driveway and has parked in front of our house, where it's leaked an engine full of oil on the street, but, hey, my 1971 Mercedes has dumped oil across the street, so alls fair!

[ Edited by: mrs. pineapple on 2004-11-28 17:08 ]

I forgot about the groups of people who,when they have a party,don't have it in the house or the backyard,but have it in the DRIVEWAY!There's nothing like the festive atmosphere of sitting on asphalt in a soccer mom folding chair and having your eyes smart from the smoke of a portable firepit.Good times!

We live across the street from what used to be the cutest bungalow. After the woman who owned it died it was sold to a couple in their 50s. They immediately tore out the old lady's gorgeous flower gardens and chopped down HALF of her flowering tree. The other dead half is still there. Since embarking on this beautification project they have decided to let large and crazy weeds grow all over the place, like between cracks on the sidewalk and along the side of the house. The weeds are about 3 to 4 feet high! Why buy a house with a yard if all you want to do is live with concrete? We are taking bets on when the house's lovely stained glass window will be tossed out so a huge air conditioner can go in its place. The clincher is that the wife, who is pretty hefty, insists on hanging out in the yard in what appears to be a babydoll nightie with her fat butt hanging out! Its disgusting! She's out there every summer nite in that nightie starting at about 4pm, bending down to tear out anything that looks like a flower. My husband and I have gotten whiplash from turning away quickly so we dont see anything, if you know what I mean. We call this couple 'The Negatives" because everything they do to their house is a disaster. The old lady who lived there has got to be spinning in her grave.

this reminds me of a local news story I read a few months back. Someone anonymously left "Neighborhood Beautification" flyers in a bunch of mailboxes in a neighborhood in Walnut Creek, urging residents to throw away the used car parts rotting on the dead grass, trim the weeds, and pull out the ghastly out-dated juniper bushes (or something like that). The flyers listed several local landscaping and painting companies, who had nothing to do with the flyers.

The recipients were pretty pissed off, especially the ones with lovely homes/gardens. The recipients who had ugly homes/gardens did not appear to be interviewed.

I wish I could find a link on that story, it was hilarious!

On 2004-11-30 16:38, dangergirl299 wrote:
this reminds me of a local news story I read a few months back. Someone anonymously left "Neighborhood Beautification" flyers in a bunch of mailboxes in a neighborhood in Walnut Creek,

Seriously, I was tempted to send them an anonymous letter using specific alphabet letters clipped out of the newspaper and glued down! Half the time I want to just go over there and rip the weeds out myself. Oh I forgot one more thing, they sprayed weed killer along the sidewalk and killed some weeds and then left the rotting burned plant matter there! Its still there! Its like living across the street from the set of Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome or whatever that movie was called.

On 2004-11-18 20:31, Gigantalope wrote:
What's in your neighborhood that's hideous? Some vulgar thing that gets your goat every time you pass it...it just does NOT belong?

Horses. Got lotsa cowboy wannabees around here, and it's really pitiful. I think cowboys are OK. They look good in movies and cigarette commercials. They should stay in Texas and Oklahoma and Wyoming where it's safe. The horses, however, gotta go.

I had to scrape one of my neighbors off the pavement a couple of weeks ago with a broken head because her horse got spooked at the Sugar Cane rustling and dumped her on the street.

Horses are large evil smelling animals with no sense of humor that leave tremendous piles of crap all over the neighborhood, and attract bloody great flies. I've no use for them whatever, unless someone is roasting one for a BBQ.

Cheers!

cybertiki, great bit!

Those programs to keep wild horses as symbols of America are amuzing too...(Maybe the Eucaliptus, English Sparrow and panda can also be, eh?)

I hate jogging down some path and having some ninny come thru on one acting like I'm trespassing because they choose to be on top of a 1200 pound rat with tap dancing shoes that could (with luck) kill them.

The single exception I make to this view is for Clydesdales, because...they bring beer.

I once bought a cheep lunch from some African guys in Paris. It turned out to BE horse meat.

Not in My Back Yard.. neighbors in Maine evidently did not appreciate the 18' flashing yellow palm tree ~ full story below, or see it at Tree Napping

particularly noteworthy is the sister-in-law who monitors supernatural events in her yard via a tape recorder.

HARRISON - How hard can this be? A bright yellow, fully illuminated coconut palm tree gets stolen from Beverly and Nicholas Maxfield's front yard and police investigators so far are, how shall we say . . . stumped?

"To me, it's got to be a prank," Cumberland County Sheriff Mark Dion said Wednesday. "There's no black market in simulated palm trees - at least I don't think there is."

This much we know: Early Monday morning, as a coastal storm pounded Maine and the Maxfields slept inside their perennially tropical home on Naples Road, a pack of thieves backed a truck up into the front yard, broke out their tools and got to work.

By dawn, the 18-foot palm tree - the crowning touch to Beverly Maxfield's eclectic collection of all things Florida - was gone. And Beverly was fuming.

"I just feel so violated," she said, looking out at the three anchor bolts and the cluster of electrical wires still sprouting from the small cement slab. "I can't believe someone would do something like this."

She is, by her own admission, not your typical Mainer. The stained-glass window on her front door features a palm tree. So does the screen saver on her computer. The bird feeder outside the kitchen door resembles a pink flamingo. The license plates on the family's two cars read "LARGOFL" and "FLORIDA.""I like really weird things," Beverly explained as she pointed to the artificial palm still standing in the back yard. "I've always been described as being really eccentric."

Thus it made perfect sense last summer when Nicholas, wanting to do something special for his wife's 50th birthday, ordered the eye-popping coconut palm during one of the family's many trips to Florida. Three weeks and almost $3,000 later, it stood proudly outside the Maxfield home for all the world to see. Especially at night.

"It had a remote control so you could set the lights at stationary, then moving, then moving really fast," Beverly said. "I liked the moving really fast best."

It wasn't long, of course, before folks throughout this town on the northern end of Long Lake started talking. And gawking. A few even made snide remarks. But Beverly, who works as a secretary at the town office, knew deep down that they were just jealous. When they asked where she got it, she'd change the subject.

Sunday evening, as the rain came down in sheets and the wind howled, Beverly looked outside and decided not to turn on the lights. She remembers waking up around 3:30 a.m. and hearing a thumping noise but decided it was nothing and went back to sleep.

"Then in the morning, I just sensed something was wrong," she said. "And I walked straight to this window and saw (the palm tree) was gone. I stood right here thinking, 'Holy crap!' "

She called the police, then the insurance company - patiently repeating her story until she convinced them that, yes, she was calling from Harrison, Maine, and yes, she said palm tree. She talked with all of the neighbors and nobody saw anything suspicious - although her sister-in-law Renee Carter, who lives next door, sort of heard something, too.

This is where it gets interesting.

Renee, it turns out, is a firm believer in the paranormal. So much so that she frequently sets out a tape recorder to detect any spirits that might be out and about on any given night. Early Monday morning, her recorder picked up the palm tree rustlers.

"It happened at 3:03 a.m.," Beverly said. "You can hear noises . . . and then you can hear someone calling a name."

Back at headquarters, Sheriff Dion confirmed that detectives - so far two are working the case - have Renee's tape and what they think is a name worth checking out. They also have other clues - including the care the thieves took to cover the still-live wires coming out of the ground to prevent any after-the-fact electrocutions.

"So at least they were quasi-intelligent," Dion said.

What investigators don't have - at least not yet - is a motive.

Contacted in Florida, the folks at http://www.BuyPalmTrees.com, who sold the Maxfields their tree, said they'd never heard of one of their palms getting lifted.

"In the course of human history, this is the first time it's happened," said owner Mo Hadi. "We are the biggest distributor of these trees in the country . . . and this makes history."

Not to mention a criminal investigation that could make or break the Cumberland County Sheriff's Office. Find the tree and Dion's detectives will be at the top of their game. Don't find it and . . . well, we are talking about a bright yellow palm tree in Maine in December. (Perhaps they should drive around Cumberland County hitting the tree's remote.)

Dion said it wouldn't be so bad if he hadn't just given his buddies over at the Gorham Police Department a hard time about their inability to recover the SpongeBob SquarePants stolen last month from atop the local Burger King.

"Now I'm looking for a yellow palm tree," Dion muttered. "How come we can't get real crimes like (Portland Police Chief Mike) Chitwood?"

Because this is Harrison - not Portland.

It's a jungle out here.

Apparently Frank Gehry's new building isn't such a welcome neighbor - it's slow-cooking the buildings around it:

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/12/02/arts/design/02gehr.html?ex=1102654800&en=e8f5d3a4fbb1673b&ei=5006&partner=ALTAVISTA1

On 2004-12-01 21:35, Gigantalope wrote:
I once bought a cheep lunch from some African guys in Paris. It turned out to BE horse meat.

Honestly, I'm not aware of having eaten horse, but it wouldn't phase me a bit. I HAVE eaten a lot of other harmless creatures including (among others) armadillo, opossum, guinea pig, sparrows, camel, rat, pangolin, snake, alligator, and a bat (just one of those). That's just the vertebrates ... I won't go into the invertebrates or it would take a considerably longer list.

I can honestly say from experience that everything tastes more or less like chicken. As long as you wash it down with liberal amounts of alcohol, there are very few things that you can't eat. Also, having the digestive constitution of a dog doesn't hurt either.

Cheers!

On 2004-11-19 22:19, calneva wrote:

1. the methodone clinic across the street
2. the "medical marjuana" clinic down the street who's patients all seem to be in their 20's and very healthy.
3. the 50 or so homeless people that live within a couple of blocks of my building.
   4.the hundreds, if not thousands, of pigeons who seem to have formed a gang and are in a constant street battle with the homeless.
4. the freeway off ramp a couple of hundred feet from our front door that feeds most of central and western San Francisco.

However, as a former "hoosier", it's good to get hit with a blast of piety every now and again. It reminds me of why I left Indiana.

Well, it sure sounds like you made a great move to where you are now. :roll:

I apologize for having compassion for people who are less fortunate. I see that in your eyes it makes me a caring person, and that must be an odd thing for you.

judge not, lest ye be judged my hoosier friend...

I'll see you in Hell....

[ Edited by: calneva on 2004-12-05 09:36 ]

Hey Calneva, Dimethios has a point...don't be too hard on the Pigeons...ruins the meat.

See me where? I'm going to an island with a 24/7 open Tiki bar. I have to find it first tho! :P