Insane Letters from Ebay Bidders

As I know many of us sell on Ebay, I thought it would be nice to have a thread where we can post the craziest questions and letters we've received from buyers . It's a good way to vent, and laugh at the same time!

I'll start it off with this one, which came at the end of a long, rambling, paranoid email regarding international money orders (which I will spare you).

"P.S. Having lived in Canada, I think a reminder to place the correct  postage on any letter to Toronto,
would be a most beneficial reminder to American buyers."

Here's another great one, from someone angry that I listed a retro decorating book as 'The UGLIEST 70's Vintage HOME DECORATING BOOK Hilarious'

"Dear fishstique,
What are YOU thinking? These designs are so Fablous! Many people spend high doller trying to acheive these looks in there homes today. New furniture today cant hold a light to the vintage retro decor. Furniture today is so DRAB and BOARING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Are you sure that wasn't someone from TC messing with you?

No, I know when Mojo is messing with me!

I often put Hot Rod Magazines on eBay. I have several different magazines and several different issue numbers. On each auction I write "We have More (insert magazine name) issues available. We can combine shipping for multiple auctions. Shipping for 1 to 5 magazines is $3.85."

Never fails, I get at least 3 people each issue asking, "How much would it cost to ship 3 magazines to (Whatever state)?" or "How much would it cost to ship them if I bought all 5?"

I'm tempted to post the questions on the auctions, but then my conscience tells me not to.

My story is about the guy that never even bothered to send me a email,
I sold the guy $99 worth of books. As a rule I always pay out of my pocket for a signed receipt.
A month after the sale, I'm wondering why the guy isn't leaving me any feedback, figure he's just one of those people who doesn't bother.
Imagine my surprise when I am contacted by eBay and paypal to tell me they are freezing my account, and investigating me for not sending the guy his books.
So I dig into my files and pull out the receipt and copy it over to eBay and pay pal .
While this is all going on, I email the guy and say that I am sure his books were delievered. He writes back and says that he has an email from the post office stating the contents of the package was lost, due to my poor packaging. I go to the post office and the post office says that they would not have emailed him, and would be very interested in seeing such an email, plus they give me documents to prove that they did deleiver the books and have his signature. I email all that over to the guy.
All I get back is an email stating that he must have made a mistake! GRRRRR
And to really tick me off, to this day no feedback from him.

Update from the 'obsessed with postage to Canada' lady:

"Tomorrow morning I will be at my local post office to have them place the proper postage for Toronto mail, and it should be leaving New York City the next morning on it's way to you. "

Thank god they will put the proper postage on for her! haha

I had a seller wish me dead once..that was cool.

Dawntiki-apparently,you didn't give her the satisfaction.Good for you for not giving in to her demands.

Lucky for me my mojo is much bigger and better than hers. But my dawg did get sick sumthun awful the very next day...doodle-doodle-doooo.
It was all a big lame misunderstanding over paypal.
I sent payment as a check because from her discription thats all it said she excepted. When the check took longer than she thought it should have taken to reach her (less than a week) she started with threats and name calling, which at the very least made for some fun.
I ended up paying for the stupid 99 cent glass thru paypal, even though the check was in the mail. I know, I know, but it was worth the extra buck to not to have to deal with her lame ass any more.
I told her to feel free and to choke on the check I hadn't sent when it reached her, along with her lame glass that I didn't want anymore.
She obviously needed the money more than I did, I also was kind enough to suggest she repost the glass on ebay in hopes maybe she could make another 99 cents.
A week or so later I recieved in the mail the glass and the uncashed check she was convinced I had never mailed.
What a piece of work she was.
Fun times!

[ Edited by: DawnTiki on 2005-06-01 19:30 ]

Everytime someone askss me a question i always post it. But I don't think it always works... 3 others usually ask the same question. I put a calculator on there and yet people still ask me how much for shipping. I even state in my auctions that there is a calculator at their convenience.

It makes me soooo crazy when people don't read the description and ask a question that's already been answered. I don't know why I let it bother me, but it does. You spend all that time writing a description so the auction is as clear as possible... only to be ignored. GRRRRRR!

I had one woman go off on me recently, she said I NEVER (in all caps) sent her an e-mail telling her when the item was shipped (this was only 2 hours after the auction ended). The next day she wrote (in all caps) WHERE IS MY STUFF??!! YOU HAVE MY MONEY! I HAVE PAID YOU BUT I HAVE NOTHING!! I had shipped her package out Priority Mail that morning and sent her a confirmation e-mail. I copied the confirmation e-mail and sent it a second time. For 3 days I got these nasty all caps e-mails demanding her stuff and what a piece of crap I was for taking her money. Day 4 I got a "I'm turning you into the authorities for fraud" e-mail, so out of curiosity I searched the tracking number to find the package had been delivered two days before. When I e-mailed her back and told her the USPS said it was delivered to (such and such) address she fired back another e-mail telling me that I was incompetent and that was not her address. Now, I'm not the Amazing Kreskin, but I can only ship packages to the address people give me. I finally went to eBay and got her phone number to see if I could explain the situation over the phone. She was yelling at me, telling me I was unprofessional, incompetent and a liar. I reminded her that if she looked at her PayPal receipt it would show the address that she gave me was the one I shipped the package to. She then told me that the address belonged to her Grandparents, her address was different. I asked her if she talked to them to see if they had the box, she yelled they did not have the package. I told her I would call her Postmaster and call her back. I got ahold of the head Postmaster in her town, because it was a small town the Postmaster knew them and the carrier. The postal carrier said her remembered dropping off the box at the grandparent's house. I called her back and let her know what the postmaster said and she yelled, "FINE!" and hung up on me. I assumed she got it because I didn't hear from her again. I wanted so badly to post something nasty on her feedback page but I didn't want retaliation so I waited for her to respond first. Of course she didn't.

As proof of my "Don't Sell To On Ebay Me Or Your Grandma Might Die" voodoo curse, here is the following excerpt from a seller obviously struck by my curse:

"Thanks for understanding and again for your purchase. And please remember on a daily basis just how precious life is and do something to be sure that you have lived it!"

On 2005-06-01 19:27, DawnTiki wrote:
Lucky for me my mojo is much bigger and better than hers.

Well shucks Dawn, thank you!

My brother once got a message from a japenese buyer starting off.

"Will you sell me"

So we thought about selling japenese people on ebay but thought it might violate some type of human rights policies, and we didn't want the negative feedback because we really didn't know him. Can you imagine the description? Come to think of it it could have been one of those cult auction listings that is sent virally to everyone and mentioned on "Regis and Kelly".

Now I'm going to see like 50 auctions for Japenese People.

one more it's more tragic then insane.

Boom!*** .. this is a blast from the past ...
a few months ago I put a deposit on two AJ chairs
... then got sideswiped by
onslaught of uterine cancer & attendant
complications ... I've reentered the
planet and finally found your address ...
what is the status of these chairs? may I finish
paying for them? how much do
I owe, including s/h to my friend in
thank you,

I just got an email from someone about a book I have on Ebay on the Making of the Mutiny on the Bounty, published in 1962...

They asked if the book came with a DVD.