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Jokes (some good, some stupid)

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A

... by the way...

two republicans were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on.

it showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "i'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first republican. "bet you $10 he won't," said the second republican. "your on!", he says.

then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge.

the second republican hands the first republican the money. "i can't take your money," said the first republican. "i cheated you. the same story was on the five o'clock news."

"no, no. take it," said the second reublican. "i saw the five o'clock news too. i just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"...

Hey Alohabro, here's a stupid joke for you: LIBERALS, Ha Ha...

They're funny when they're OUT of power, they're scary when they're IN power.

Liberals should make ice cream and music...NOT policy.

Maybe Moveon.org would be a more appropriate forum for your stupid jokes, huh? Otherwise I got a million Democrat "jokes" I can lay on you, bring it on.

A drunken Senator drives off a bridge...

On 2005-11-03 22:05, tikitortured wrote:

...ice cream and music...

... ice cream is delicious... all kids should get the chance to make some in those old fashioned ice cream buckets with the hand crank...

... most music is good... creating, playing & recording music is fun...

... if that is your point tortured, then common ground is secured & plentiful... dream big...

... by the way...

... bill gates and the president of general motors have met for lunch, and bill is going on and on about computer technology. "if automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades, you would now be driving a v-32 instead of a v-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour," says gates. "or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. in either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50. why haven't you guys kept up?"
the president of gm smiles and says, "because the federal government won't let us build cars that crash four times a day."

T

On 2005-11-03 22:08, tikitortured wrote:
A drunken Senator drives off a bridge...

I don't get it.

I thought this thread was about stupid jokes.

On 2005-11-04 12:05, thejab wrote:

On 2005-11-03 22:08, tikitortured wrote:
A drunken Senator drives off a bridge...

I don't get it.

I thought this thread was about stupid jokes.

... that may have been the beginning of a stupid joke.. the punch line may follow shortly...

... in any case...

... there's this guy who shows up at a cabin where these hunters have gathered to hunt bear. only he shows up without a gun.
the other hunters are very curious. "how you gonna get a bear without a gun?" they ask.
"do you have a knife?"
"no," says the guy.
"do you have a club?"
"no," says the guy.
"don't you worry. i'm gonna get myself a bear. just wait right here and see."
the guy leaves the cabin and disappears into the hills for several hours.
eventually he happens upon a bear asleep in his den and he kicks the bear and gets it really angry. as the bear wakes up, he starts to chase after the guy, so the guy starts running back towards the cabin.

finally the hunters hear him running down the hill and yelling, "open the cabin door! open the door!"

they open the door and the guy runs into the cabin and holds the door open behind him. to the terror of the other hunters, an angry bear follows close behind, running into the cabin, too.

then the guy slams the door shut, and says, "you skin that one. i'll go get another."...

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