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Two of my worst nightmares have intermingled...

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Jewel has gone nasty hip-hop hoochie. The apocalypse is definitely near.

Dude, enjoy it for what you can, and ignore the rest... makes life easier when you see Jew Lo (as her new Hip hop name will be) in Boy shorts. As long as she continues the mesh shirt trend. Whee!

When I was young, I used to laugh at doddery old high court judges who didn't know who the famous stars of the day were. Now I realise I'm a doddery old fart, too. Who's Jewel?

Trader Woody

I don't like Jewel, but it's nice to see someone who simply plays the guitar and sings to it can get hit records and airplay. Of course, this new record breaks with that.

PS Jewel is the Joan Biaz of today, but of course, lacking anything to rally against.

M

*Who's Jewel?
*

Who's Jewel, hoh boy. That's like asking "what's air?","what is life?" or "what's Haircut One Hundred?"

Jewel is the glue that holds the universe together. She is a sage, a philosopher, a seer. Her talents are vast: singer, songwriter, poet, equestrian, drywall hanger nonpareil. What others see and say, "Why is this so?", Jewel sees and says, "Fractions make my head hurt".

Her humanity is known and revered in several continents, including the sub, and substitute, continents. She has more talent in her little finger than her pinkie toe. It's Jewel's world, we just wait for her to shut up. For Jewel to shut up, to shut up.

Plus, she has big hooters.

Jewel in the same room with the Anti-Christ Gifford. What a missed opportunity to, with one fragmentation device, rid the world of some evil, damn!

midnite

R
Rain posted on Wed, May 21, 2003 11:45 AM

i saw jewel open for peter murphy years ago. she was far less annoying then.
but she still had the baps.

R
Rain posted on Wed, May 21, 2003 11:52 AM

two nightmares mingled together:

a. Mariah Carey hosting infomercials
b. Celine Dion becoming a circus clown
c. Anyone from NSync hosting anything on MTV

Britney Spears as a Psychology major (I never dated one that wasn't crazy).

R
Rain posted on Wed, May 21, 2003 1:10 PM

due to my current dating situation, i can neither confirm or deny the sanity of psych majors (without incurring the wrath). :)
::shifty eyes::

which brings up an interesting point - when picking a shrink, how do you know they aren't crazier than you are? hmm...

Actually, Midnite, for sheer unmitigated force of evil, I think Kathie Lee Gifford has both Britney and Jewel face down in a pool of blood.

M

Stuck in an elevator with:

The Widow Gifford
Celine Dion
Bob Costas
Jerry Rivers

You have a handgun, but only one bullet. What do you do, what do you do? THINK!

Another great parlor game, feel free to make your own list. It's "The ship is going down, everyone is gonna die" and you get to pick the passenger manifest. Martha Stewart is sous chef, Babs is cruise entertainment. The entire poop deck, fittingly, is occupied by the Kennedy family (sans Caroline).

And of course, Kathie Lee is chained to the anchor.

Feel the love!
midnite

I'd like to get Celine drunk and have Paul Williams, Gary Coleman, and Ernest Borgnine on hand when she lapses into "everybody looks good" mode. Could you imagine the horror of that morning after?

[Plus, she has big hooters

Jewel isn't too fond of bras either.

On 2003-05-21 11:11, midnite_tiki wrote:
Who's Jewel, hoh boy. That's like asking "what's air?","what is life?" or "what's Haircut One Hundred?"

Wow, what's next.....an Aztec Camera reference?

I'm afraid Jewel hasn't made much of splash this side of the pond, despite her assets.

However, if I see any Joan Baez-esque singers appearing on tv, I'll be sure and take a good peep at her puppies.....er...I mean have a listen to her finely-crafted songs.

Trader Woody

On 2003-05-21 15:59, midnite_tiki wrote:

You have a handgun, but only one bullet. What do you do, what do you do? THINK!

I'd swallow that bullet , brother!

On 2003-05-21 20:01, vintagegirl wrote:

On 2003-05-21 11:11, midnite_tiki wrote:
Who's Jewel, hoh boy. That's like asking "what's air?","what is life?" or "what's Haircut One Hundred?"

Wow, what's next.....an Aztec Camera reference?

How about 'Roman Holiday'?

M

*Wow, what's next.....an Aztec Camera reference? *

Actually, it was an opportunity for one of our British TC'ers to explain what is a Haircut One Hundred. Looks like no one took the bait.

Just me playing straightman, for once.

Now I must go listen to my Spandau Ballet cd's. Yes, I admit it! Tony, the Kemp brothers...I was a Spandau fan. Even saw them in concert. Everyone is granted one guity pleasure band, right?

midnite

Spandau Ballet was the first concert I ever went to.

Wait, did I just say that out loud?

Spandau The Coconut Boy

R
Rain posted on Thu, May 22, 2003 11:35 AM

could be worse: my first concert was (get this)
WHITESNAKE with opening act GREAT WHITE.

M

Haircut 100 rules.

And don't get me started about the majesty of Spandau Ballet. Ask me about Karaoke Night at the Odeon with Smiley & Vixen.

New Romo rules us all.

Remember: Always believe in your soul. You've got the power to know. You're indestructable!!

-martin

[ Edited by: martiki6 on 2003-05-22 13:05 ]

On 2003-05-22 11:35, Rain wrote:
could be worse: my first concert was (get this)
WHITESNAKE with opening act GREAT WHITE.

I've got that beat: Leif Garrett.
Had to go with my aunt's friend's daughter when I was in sixth grade. I'm still scarred...

Putting small and credible punk shows to one side, the first real show I went to was Gary Glitter! He was supported by the Toy Dolls & was so drunk that he broke his glittery guitar.

Trader Woody
PS - didn't that Haircut One Hundred singer become some sort of weird body-building type? I guess all those 'wimp' calls stuck in his craw...

[ Edited by: Trader Woody on 2003-05-22 14:45 ]

Haircut 100's Pelican West is my favorite summertime CD, bar none!

My first concert? Blue Oyster Cult and Rush....boy, does that date me or what?

Yeah, Spandau was OK, but Simon, Nick and John ruled!

Wow, I think I just regressed to being 14 again?
(Yes, my first concert was Duran Duran)

And I was just listening to Pelican West 2 days ago. In fact, I saw Nick Heyward in a solo show in the early 90's in Hollywood. He kicked ass and his biceps weren't bad either.

I do wish I could've seen Heaven 17 though.
– "Brothers, sisters
We don't need no fascist groove thang."

On 2003-05-22 14:19, Trader Woody wrote:
He was supported by the Toy Dolls

"Nelle the Elephant!!??" (sp?) I saw the Toy dolls at a little joint in the LBC called Fenders Ball Room a few moons ago! Score!

First concert? Kiss and Cheap Trick at the Forum! 4th grade!! 3rd row!!! I've never been the same since!

Most memorible gig?

Black Flag at the Starwood(one of the many shows). Adam Ant was playing at 7 Seas (yes the old 7 seas tiki joint. (my grandfather actually decorated it way back when)All the "Ant People" decided they would try to hang out at Oki Dog(on Santa Monica) with all of us punks and..... well, Black Flag Kills Ants on contact!!!! Ahhhh, the good ol' days!

First real concert, 12 years old.
Mom drops my brother and myself off at
The Hollywood bowl, 5th row box seats for
ALICE COOPER
2nd song into the street fight, two 16 or 17 year old girls from the nosebleed section are sitting in our laps pumping THC down our throats.
Then in good old Burbank my next door neighbor was Randy Rhoades of Quiet Riot and Ozzie fame, played many hours of air guitar on the closed down stage of The Starlite Bowl just above my house.
Then The Orange Curtain sucked my family down to the beach and it was Izods, cords, and
ZZTOP/ La Grange rocks dudes
Sorry got to go now and listen to my 1000 Maniacs CD

DZ

Queen at the Fabulous Forum, December 18, 1978.

I still have the t-shirt and a bootleg tape of the show!

M

Z, MD:

Queen at the Fabulous Forum, December 18, 1978

Duuuude, me too! "'Cept it was the tour in '82, think it was '82, show at the Forum.
Billy Squire opened, "Stroke, stroke, stroke". Queen put on a good show, Mercury was a great frontman.

Ok, I lied. Queen was my first "rock" concert on my own. My first concert: Barry Manilow, 1977 at the Greek Theater. With my Mom and sister.

During Mandy, I cried.

midnite

My first punk rock show? Circle Jerks, Necros.

Baxdog - I saw Alice Cooper back then at the Pasadena Rose Palace opening for Lee Micheals (worlds loudest Hammond organ)Great show - Alice let a some live chickens loose and started chasing them around with a fire extinguisher.
1st concert - Music Machine & Nitty Gritty Dirtband at the Carousel Theater - Anaheim, CA - 1968
Most memorable concerts- Blue Cheer, Eric Burdon & the Animals, Quicksilver Messenger Service, Country Joe & the Fish, Grateful Dead, Jefferson Airplane & Pharaoh Sanders - Newport Pop Festival, Newport Beach, CA - 1968
Jethro Tull & It's a Beautiful Day - Swing Auditorium, San Berdoo, CA - 1971
Iggy Pop & Blondie - San Diego Concourse - 1977
Nico & the Dickies - Whiskey A-Go-Go - 1979

Pages: 1 31 replies