Suffering B----h - a new concoction for the ladies...

Aloha!

I was asked to tend bar on Saturday at the home of a local RAB couple Anne and Stephan, who have built a nice little Tiki bar in the basement of their gorgeous vintage home. They were having a barbeque. It was a nice day, and they got a great turnout. The local RAB community here in Chicago has definitely embraced Tiki as a big subculture to their subculture. All of the greasers showed up in Aloha shirts.

In order to keep ingredients (and Annes shopping list) relatively simple, I put three drinks on the 'menu': Mai Tai, Suffering Bastard (essentially the same ingredients as Mai Tai, in different ratios), and my specialty from Easter Island, Pisco Sour.

If there was a little extra drink in the shakers after I poured them, I had an extra shaker that I dumped all of the run-off into.

A rather drunken young lady offered to drink THAT (the shaker full of a little Mai Tai, a little Pisco Sour, and a little SB). All of her girlfriends challenged the fellas to down the mutt concoction, and no one would.

Before drinking it, she asked what it was called. At first, I said 'mystery drink', but that is unfair to the real Mystery Drink at Mai Kai (and elsewhere, in days of yore). Also, I didn't want to have to dance and kiss her as I served it.

She said, this is a Suffering Bastard, but for the ladies!

So I dumped some grenadine into it, to make it pink, and called it a Suffering (can I say this Hanford?) Bitch.

She found it a little bitter, so I added some Rock Candy Syrup, and after that, every time my shaker of spare beverage filled up, one of this gal's pals was in line for a Suffering Bitch.

So, here's my second "mistake" drink:

Suffering Bitch

Random quantities of leftover Mai Tai, Suffering Bastard, and Pisco Sour.
A little grenadine.
A little Rock Candy Syrup.
Drink at your own risk.

Now that said, I have further modified my Pisco recipe from the one in TRT. I find that leaving out some or all of the OJ makes it less tart (I think the OJ and the sour mix together are redundant anyway, and I try to avoid using fruit juice in Tiki Drinks - that's cheating!), so to cut the alcohol taste, I have actually been dumping the mixure into a blender with ice, and turning the thing into a semi-slushie (I know, I know), and then sprinkling a little brown sugar on top of the foam (something that they do with this drink in Chile, but not on Easter Island). Nels (from Tikizone.com, you'll all meet him at Exotica!) reminded me of the brown sugar part, I had forgotten about it.

I still leave out another Chilean addition: the raw egg in the drink!

The ingredients sound good, but the name leaves a funny taste in my mouth.:)
Smart idea to leave the raw egg out. I once tikitended a bar where one of the bartenders
simply made a Ramos Fiz and the raw egg white had salmonella in it. Now she is a proud owner of part of that bar.
Tikibars, would love to throw some drinks together with you behind the bar someday.
Now that would be a T.C. party to remember (if they could remember it)
Cheers.

Did YOU actually try the drink James? I'm just wondering if any sober person tried it and gave their opinion. Once you're in a drunken stupor and have that "alcohol tongue", just about anything can be bearable.

Ok, I've worked in bars for 10 years now, and you've stumbled on a secret drink. I used to work at a place where we had way too many company parties, well, we had a couple under age hostesses who wanted to drink so bad. So the bartenders would give them our "special" drinks, the "Matador" we also gave this to jerks looking for free drinks or those who's drinks are never strong enough. You all know the mats on the bar that collect everything- cream, beer, all kinds of liquers and juices. You just pick up the mat, bend it to a point and fill a glass. (we never let them see us make their shots) The best is when it curdles like with Bailey's and juice. Yuck! We would laugh and laugh at these girls sucking up these sick leftovers, from hours of service, like candy. And the jerks always thought we loved them because we bought them shots and would give us their phone numbers. Duh

On 2003-07-14 11:44, SugarCaddyDaddy wrote:
Did YOU actually try the drink James? I'm just wondering if any sober person tried it and gave their opinion. Once you're in a drunken stupor and have that "alcohol tongue", just about anything can be bearable.

I DID try it, a little bit. Then I went back to the 'proper' Pisco Sours and Mai Tais.

The thing is, Suffering Bastard and Mai Tai are essentially the same ingredients, in different ratios. So combining the leftovers from those two wasn't too bad, it just randomizes the ratios. The dodgy bit was in adding Pisco to that - Pisco and rum sounds good on paper, but I've never made the two work together, and yes, I have tried!

Anyway, Unga Bunga, you hit the nail on the head - the best parites are the ones that you don't remember (wait, is that ME in that photo?). We WILL mixologize together at some point...

And Laney - your story is a riot. That's why I always tip well: it's a bribe against the bar-gutter cocktail!

Ë™

Ugh! The Matador! I have to remember that!
We used to just make a 'Lotto 649' for our annoying customers who always wanted an exciting new shot - (Lotto 649 being the name of a popular lottery here in Ontario). You take the 6th bottle from the left of the 1st row, the 4th from the right of the 2nd row, and the 9th from the left on the last row. Depending what bar station you were at it could get pretty nasty...

Last night I finally finished the prolonged and oft-delayed redecoration of Aku Hall.

A small celebration ensued.

And another questionable concoction was created under the influence of Vic and Donn classics:

Finally having procured some Falernum, I wanted to do something interesting with it (aside from the obvious action: drinking it).

I had some cherries in the fridge, and already having had a Scorpion and a Mai Tai, I decided that making something with the cherries, the Falernum, and the blender was a good idea (feel free to debate this, I wish someone had, in fact).

So:

1.5 cups fresh cherries (pull the pits out)

2 oz brandy

2 oz Falernum

blenderize until cherries are liquified.

Pour over ice.

Add rind from lime used to previously make mai tais (optional).

Serves 2.

Name: whomever comes up with a good one wins a prize.

Critique: actuually, not to bad, tasted like a smoothie but it made me feel all funny inside.

Must have been love.

Or brandy.

Love that brandy.

Might need to make it more liquidy with some further juice. Maybe put the ice in the blender with the rest.

On 2003-07-14 17:29, laney wrote:
the "Matador" we also gave this to jerks looking for free drinks or those who's drinks are never strong enough. You all know the mats on the bar that collect everything- cream, beer, all kinds of liquers and juices. You just pick up the mat, bend it to a point and fill a glass. (we never let them see us make their shots)

YUK! In 19th Century NYC low-end bars would dump all the leftovers into a barral and a customer could drink through a hose as much as possible with one swallow. Glad to see your keeping at least part of that tradition alive.

Name: whomever comes up with a good one wins a prize.

"Hemolele Keli"

[ Edited by: johntiki on 2004-06-02 17:47 ]

Hmm,
The first that comes to mind is Cherry Popper.
Pretty obvious, though.

Ran