The Official Tiki Central's 'Hijack This Thread" Thread.

I never really figure out why, exactly, everyone calls him that. When asked, even the old-timers just scratch their heads and make that little noise that means they don't have an answer nor can they come up with one while your standing there. I figure there were more than a few people who bolted upright in bed late at night with the A-ha! moment only to have it slip from their mind as the dream they were just having fades back to the space behind your eyes where all the dreams stay when your awake. Maybe someday I'll find out, but for now I'll just have to go with it.

Its funny how the mind wanders but the feet somehow manage to stay the course because I suddenly found myself back on my side of the campus reaching for the door to the lecture hall with absolutely NO recollection of any of the space between where I am now and where I was 10 minutes ago when the mind took its little trip.

I found out later, he's a meth addict. Gives me the creeps.

Vote for me in the Viva Las Vegas Burlesque Competition!

http://www.vivalasvegas.net/intranet/vote_main.php

It hurts when I pee

Do what I do. Get someone else to pee for you.

Yeah well I wish threads that were just links to Youtube videos all had subject lines which said so. Like Youtube: Why Cutting Someone Else's Toenails Is Fun! or Youtube: A Cat That Flushes The Toilet!!! Then I wouldn't bother clicking on the thread because I would immediately suspect that the post had no actual original content in it so I could just skip it and move on to Liloti's latest claim that long gone visitors to Mars once farted in Earth's general direction and that's where rainbows come from.

Somewhere around this joint it seemed someone once said something about the Seattle World's Fair Bubbleator. It also seemed Sophista-tiki mentioned that the Bubblelator now lived in someone's front yard south of Seattle.

I couldn't find any of that but I did recently come across the Bubbleator in the front yard in Redondo (just northwest of Federal Way).

I tried, oh, how I tried, to remove myself from the drama and ego flagellation of Tiki Central. Then a bunch of "stuff" resurected me. Posting a bunch of drivel on an "other crafts" thread which has no crafts is quite curious. Bunch of tards. I hate to admit that I've missed you.

"I tried, oh, how I tried, to remove myself from the drama and ego flagellation of Tiki Central. Then a bunch of "stuff" resurected me."

Kiki von Lazarus

resurrected***

Does this make you Jeebus?

Maybe just a big cranky bear coming out of hibernation!

You woke me up for THIS?!?!?

:wink:

I never really understood what is so hard to comprehend about hibernation. I mean its simple.... you go to sleep in November and wake up in March. Its not any different that what happens to your average Department of Motor Vehicle worker. I mean they go to sleep when they get hired and wake up 25 years later when they retire.

One little bonus, that first cup of coffee tastes really, really good. The down side is how bad you have to pee when you finally do wake up.

I thought there was a thread on Tiki Central about pink elephants and where they came from? I looked and looked and NOTHING. Maybe it was from Yahoo!

Anyway, here's a guy who used to live at the Seattle Center's Fun Forest when there was miniature golf there. I think it was leftover from the Century 21 World's Fair.

As I recall it...The book he was reading once said "How to Quit Drinking" and the title was changed in the 80s.

I remember the 80's. Good times. Good times. I think that was a song from the 70's but it should have been in the 80's. Not that people didn't have fun in the 70's. I assume they did what with the disco and the sexual revolution and the glavin.

It would be a cooler movie without the time traveling Nazi circus acrobat diamond thieves subplot...don't yuh think?

One of the more useful items I have encountered in the fields of Handslightery and Obfuscation:

Macro-Causal Grand Unified Field Format Inverter Nodes

A wise man speaks because he has something to say; a fool because he has to say something. ~ Frequently attributed to Plato, but not apparently found in his work

Visit Zeta's cabinet of curiosities:
http://www.tikicentral.com/viewtopic.php?topic=35269&forum=6&7

There seems little point in bothering to make another category as people more or less end up posting whatever they want where ever they happen to be at the time.

Even if there were new sub-threads/forums/aloha cloth lined baskets to attempt to organize things, threads frequently get hijacked and the whole thing becomes a big mess.

On the other hand: I just realized I don't give a crap.

You win! :lol:

Wrong.

As I have just discovered: The kittens win.

KITTENWAR!!!

And for those with a real kitten jones:

The Random Kitten Generator

http://www.addictinggames.com/kittencannon.html

Kids these days..... its all point and shoot, who can click the fastest, or longest, or at all. Back in my day we had to do things to entertain ourselves, things like rolling dice, painting little lead figures, drawing overly detailed maps on which to put the little lead figures. And we had to use our imagination! Or if our imagination wasn't enough, we would find someone with more and use theirs.

Bah! Get off my digital lawn you whippersnappers! [/shaking of digital fist]

As the main forum fills up with more Bilge type topics we should fill Bilge with more solid Tiki related topics and eventually we will have created BIZARRO TIKI CENTRAL!!!

A Tiki mug in perfect Bizarro Tiki Central condition.

.

April 1971, Pike Place Market: The devolution of the coffee shop begins.

Peter Falk and Denis Leary today walked into a Starbucks and shot 27 people, without any announcement whatsoever.

That's odd cuz last time they did it they sent that nice card:

*Hi! We'll be dropping by this location next Friday between noon and two and plan to shoot the hell outta whatever and whoever happens to be in there!

Sincerely,

Pete & Dennis

Whoever whomever??? We can never get that straight!*

I am sorting through some old blog crap and came across my opinions of the Happy Hour at Seattle's Palisade restaurant in January of '06. It doesn't really fit in anywhere on Tiki Central though some uniformed types might call Palisade Tiki. Enjoy!

Palisade is one super swanky joint, it's like a Las Vegas fancy Chinese restaurant in Seattle.

Located down below the southern slope of Magnolia, Palisade is at the edge of the Elliot Bay Marina with views across Elliot Bay of downtown and Alki beach in West Seattle.

A Las Vegas sized porte-cochere (look it up!) and a broad staircase make for a grand entrance. Inside, Palisade is a reserved yet over the top tropical Asian fantasy, lots of polished dark wood, an expansive open ceiling with some blown glass goo-gaws sitting on suspended round glass platforms.

The focal point of the interior is a huge salt water pool and waterfall. The dining area is between the pool and the wall of windows looking out on the Sound, the bar sits slightly above it all.

Over the bar there's a sort of ceiling/ledge with a baby grand player piano sitting on it providing the music for the restaurant. The lighting is low so as to not impede the view out the windows.

The well done interior combined with the sound of the waterfall and the piano and the murmur of people makes Palisade feel like a movie scene. Or a swanky restaurant in Las Vegas.

The bar menu has some interesting sounding cocktails, the Mango Margarita being the Happy Hour special. Sparky had one of those and described it with a shrug. Cookie had a Bloody Mary which inspired her and and Sparky to list off the better ones they'd had. I ordered a Tropical Itch because it had been reccomended to me by someone and because it's a classic Tiki/Chinese restaurant type drink (particularly when served with a bamboo backscratcher, as they do at Palisade).

The Tropical Itch was just OK. It tasted like mango-orange juice with a little rum. Maybe a little rum. It was supposedly made with gold and dark rum but there was no flavor of either.

The drinks did have the nicest presentation of any restaurant cocktails I can recall. The Mango Margarita was served in a Martini glass, one purple orchid at the edge of the glass, the Bloody Mary came in a tall glass with a big shrimp garnish, the Tropical Itch was in an oversized Hurricane glass with a wedge of pineapple, one of the purple orchids, and the bamboo backscratcher. Again, it was all pretty to look at.

Cookie picked out some of the Happy Hour snacks. She and Sparky thought the snacks were "alright" but as they ate they talked about better food at other restaurants. I though the snacks were at the edge of inedible.

The "Kobe Sliders" were actually "Kobe style" beef and were somewhat tough for ground beef. They were fried in butter and salted like it was cod being kept for the winter. The sliders were served on little buns around the size and quality of a Kentucky Fried Chicken dinner roll. Three bucks each for an over salted wad of greasy beef on a bland white bread roll.

Some egg roll sorta things (also 3 bucks each) tasted like they were made with leftover turkey (it was pork) and deep fried in old grease. I've had better from the hot-to-go case at Safeway.

The crab cakes were made with fresh crab, but they tasted like they'd been sitting in the fridge for a few days. They were essentially over salted greasy discs of crab. I had half of one (again, 3 bucks each), and though the crab cakes were small even that was too much of a bad thing. (The only reason I finished it was because it represented a buck fifty.)

I skipped the Crab Rangoon, fried wontons with a little bit of something in them. I couldn't imagine it'd be any good after the other stuff so I figured someone else might as well suffer.

Though we'd only ate a little food we felt full due to the enormous amounts of grease they managed to get into everything.

Ultimately we agreed that Palisade is a swell looking place, it really feels like you're somewhere else when you're there. But if you're there have a beer, enjoy the views, then go somewhere else.

Unga Bunga's contribution to a Test Messages Area thread titled Post test

On 2010-04-24 14:31, woofmutt wrote:

Which also reminds me of something Hakalugi wrote:

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Thanks for the save. I had meant to quote the above in this thread yesterday but got my windows mixed up.

Everything always seems to happens at the same time. I mean things I'm interested in. Because I guess everything does happen at the same time more or less. By which I mean at this moment everything that is going to happen at this moment is happening, even if this moment may not be this moment where something in particular is happening.

Here, let me draw you this diagram using a hundred or so trillion dancing penguins to represent everything that is happening and a wheel of Swiss cheese to represent this moment. (Ignore the holes in the Swiss cheese, they aren't meant to represent an absence in the absolute of this moment, they are merely there as part of the Swiss cheese even though that means that part of what makes Swiss cheese Swiss cheese is the absence of Swiss cheese in certain places. So I guess anytime you happen to be in the absence of Swiss cheese you may actually be in the presence of a part of Swiss cheese.)

So penguins, a wheel of Swiss, and a dance number. Something simple choreographed to a player piano piece. No hats or canes for the penguins, I don't want to make this confusing.

5 or 15 notes or bars (or whatever we chop music up into in order to make sure penguins make the right move at the right time) each penguins does a spin on its left foot. On the note (yes, I'll go with notes) DINK. The music goes dunk dunk DINK and on DINK the penguins spin on their left feet. Or to put it almost exactly the same way: In the moment of DINK all penguins spin on their left feet.

But apparently the moment of DINK does not occur for all the penguins at the same time. Or so people with jobs which impress former classmates at high school reunions have told me. (That's what I meant by "apparently.")

So in the moment of DINK 50 trillion penguins might spin as choreographed, but another 25 trillion might be experiencing the second moment of dunk and the final 25 or so trillion penguins are experiencing the first moment of dunk. Technically the moment of DINK is not happening all at once but still everything is happening at once. I think. There is a really good chance I'm completely wrong about this especially as I don't care whether I'm completely wrong. That's not to say I'm reckless, it's just to remind you that you didn't pay for any of this nor did I even ask you to read it. I just needed to distract you long enough to try and synch up a particular moment for spectacular results which do not involve dancing penguins or Swiss cheese (in it's presence or absence). But you already knew that because I just told you.

For Liloti...

I was looking for a job and then I found a job
and heaven knows I'm miserable now...

That fudge looks as though it's been nicely packed.

Check out pictures of Lisa Petrucci's home with some tikis:
http://www.seattledreamhomes.com/PageManager/Default.aspx/PageID=1352444&NF=1

Put ZAZZ in your pants and WALK WITH A SMILE!

**The Thread:

**Time for OktoberFIST 2010!!

The Post:

Like beer?
Like milking cows?
How 'bout sawing logs?
Drinking beer?
Holding beer steins?
Dancing like a chicken?
Eating sausages, pretzels and sauerkraut?
How 'bout drinking beer?
Got a dirndl or lederhosen just hanging in your closet begging to be worn?
How 'bout any other 'non-traditional' headwear that you just can't wear anywhere else?
Like being in an environment where public drunken behavior is not only permitted, but encouraged?
(BONUS: Do you know what "electrolysis" has to do with any of this?)

If you answered YES to any/all of these questions, well, hold on to your keg-hat and styrofoam stein my friend, because the time has come! Yep, I drive by it every day - the tent is up!!

The Opening Night of Alpine Village Oktoberfest is Friday, September 10, and it continues every weekend (Fris & Sats, 6-1, Sunday 'Family Day' from noon - 7) until October 24.

The A.V. website doesn't have a link for free admission coupons anymore, but you can now buy your admission as an advance e-ticket, saving you (literally) hours of waiting to get in! If you're interested in going at any point, just post here and we can set things in motion!

Aloha wear required. Raccoon-head hats and/or pharoah head-dresses optional.

OktoberFIST: A TikiCentral tradition since 2002!

The reply:

Like beer?

Yes.

Like milking cows?

No interest really. But I milked goats when I was a kid (no pun intended). It was OK. Can't say I liked it.

How 'bout sawing logs?

If you mean sleep, yeah. Actually cutting wood I don't mind but it's never on my Fun Things To Do! lists.

Drinking beer?

Didn't we already cover this?

Holding beer steins?

I do if they're full of beer (which I like drinking, see above). But just holding a beer stein for the sake of holding a beer stein does nothing for me.

Dancing like a chicken?

No.

Eating sausages, pretzels and sauerkraut?

Yes.

How 'bout drinking beer?

Never heard of it.

Got a dirndl or lederhosen just hanging in your closet begging to be worn?

No. But I have a Rockmount tie with a picture of a cowboy riding the range on it which I've never worn.

How 'bout any other 'non-traditional' headwear that you just can't wear anywhere else?

All my "headwear" is traditional and I wear it when and where I want.

Like being in an environment where public drunken behavior is not only permitted, but encouraged?

Yes to the first one, no to the second.

(BONUS: Do you know what "electrolysis" has to do with any of this?)

No bonus points for me.

If you answered YES to any/all of these questions, well, hold on to your keg-hat and styrofoam stein my friend, because the time has come! Yep, I drive by it every day - the tent is up!!

STYROFOAM™ is a registered trademark for a line of foam products manufactured exclusively by The Dow Chemical Company. They ask that you follow these guidelines when specifying STYROFOAM Brand Foam:

• When the word "STYROFOAM" appears in copy, it should be in upper case letters and followed by the words "Brand Foam." For example:

STYROFOAM Brand Foam

• The preferred method to denote that STYROFOAM Brand Foam is a trademark is to follow its first use in any document with the ™ mark, and the corresponding trademark footnote should read "®™*Trademark of The Dow Chemical Company ("Dow") or an affiliated company of Dow" For example:

STYROFOAM™ Brand Foam®™* Trademark of The Dow Chemical Company ("Dow") or an affiliated company of Dow

• If the format does not permit use of the trademark footnote, then a ™ mark should be used after the word "STYROFOAM":

STYROFOAM™ Brand Foam

• Because it is a registered trademark, STYROFOAM cannot be used as an adjective. It is incorrect to say "Three 1-inch STYROFOAM Brand Foam balls." Instead, use "Three 1-inch balls of STYROFOAM Brand Foam."

Hey, that ain't me, that's Dow.

So anyway, when Devo gets back together, they should do an exotica album.

Once some years back I was at a downtown Seattleville bus stop. There were a dozen or so other people there as well.

A disheveled street person looking guy walked up to the bus stop and asked the first person he came on if he had change for a dollar. The guy said no and the street person looking guy went to the next person and asked the same thing. Everyone he asked said no.

He then asked me. I think I actually had change for a dollar but I used my change to ride the bus. I also knew it was common panhandler schtick to ask for change and when you get the money out they hit you with their sob story and instead of wanting to make change they want you to give your change to them.

So when the street person looking guy asked me I too said no. There was one last person past me, the street person looking guy asked if they had change for a dollar, the person said no.

Then the street person looking guy turned and yelled at the top of his lungs "F-- you assh--s! All I wanted was change for a dollar and you assh--s wouldn't help! You f--rs can all go f-- yourselves! F-- you! F-- you all!" Then he stormed off.

I watched him go and said to the guy next to me "Gee, now I feel bad that I didn't give him change."

An Adam magazine cover posted by martian-tiki in the The Retro Magazine Covers and Articles thread

Pointy lady parts aside, is that a young Donald Trump on the cover?