Craigslist Wonders

$1 22 yr old bi girl needs a place to crash (pacific beach)

Date: 2010-07-18, 11:05AM PDT
Reply to: [email protected]

Hi

I need a place to stay in a few weeks when i come down to san diego. I wont have a job at first so i need to crash on someones couch or share someones room. Maybe if I find a cute guy or girl I can just share your bed.(wink wink).We could work out some arrangement. No creepy old men plz!!! I dont have much money so if i could find other ways to pay you at first that would be perfect.

Location: pacific beach

escrow, or any promise of transaction protection/certification/guarantee. More info
1964 Mid Century Witco Wooden Wall Art Sculpture (Seattle- Antiques at Pike Place)

Date: 2010-07-27, 3:47PM PDT
Reply to: see below

1964 Wooden wall art sculpture by Witco of California- officially called "The Conversation". This is a fairly large piece- 40.5" tall and 23" wide. It also appears in the book "Tiki Modern" by Sven A Kirsten. Excellent condition.
This can be seen at Antiques at Pike Place Seattle http://www.antiquesatpikeplace.com/ Ask for dealer #9. Price: $165.00

Cat Piss Mattress - $20 (Poway)

So, my cat pissed on my mattress.. a lot. Yes, the stain is kind of large, but hey it's a mattress. It's a full and quite comfortable. The only con is, well is has a cat pee stain. She's a really cute cat so it makes it not quite so bad and it's not her fault she has a bladder infection.
I don't have a truck so you'd have to pick it up. I'm only asking $20 and in this economy that is a great deal for anything of this size.
Serious inquiries only please.

http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/clt/1877362049.html

***Elvis Presley in Blue Hawaii - $4000 (Las Vegas)

Date: 2010-08-03, 4:23PM PDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

Elvis Presley Blue Hawaii sells for 8000.00 so this is a steal dont miss it all of you serious buyers.

Location: Las Vegas
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1877362049***

So, inquiring minds want to know so I sent them an email.

jason smith to sale-da79k-187.
What exactly are you selling?

Marilyn Dwellingham to me
it is collectable albums, lp

On 2010-08-06 09:28, TikiPug wrote:
So, inquiring minds want to know so I sent them an email.

jason smith to sale-da79k-187.
What exactly are you selling?

Marilyn Dwellingham to me
it is collectable albums, lp

Awesome, I have two of them that I picked up for about a buck apiece....I'm bucks up sucka!

(I wish!)

WTT High Fives for any Musical Instrument

Date: 2010-02-23, 7:05PM EST

Have some instruments (pianos, trumpets, guitars, hurdy-guydys) that you need to get rid of? I will take these off of your hands, and in return you will receive a solid High Five. I have been told that my high fives are top-notch, so this is a very good deal. I will take just about any bass, flute, mandolin, violin, tuba, what have you...I am not picky. So hit me up with an awesome email and let's strike a deal. Local deals only. No traveling to high-five you. Low Fives also, though they aren't as satisfying.

Here's what we'd be looking at:

•Location: Birmingham
•it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Emotionally unavailable woman seeking emotionally unavailable man

Date: 2010-05-12, 12:20PM PDT

You:

-Must have a busy schedule. This must be legit. Holding down a 3.8 in the College of Engineering while working two jobs, running a business, publishing original research = busy. Sleeping in until 2 in the afternoon, smoking with your friends, watching re-runs of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" = not busy.

That way, we can always blame everything on "timing." (It's not you or me)

-Must play control games with me. I will push and shove, and it is your job to nonverbally put me in my place by constantly "taking control of the situation." This is how you will establish your "dominance." This will not be easy (but that's what makes it fun).

Other ways to "stay in control:" ask all the questions, do all of the interrogation. If I ever become upset, accuse me of being "emotional" or "unreasonable." It's always "inside my head." Also, see me when it is convenient for you. Don't always answer my calls. Remain somewhat aloof. You don't want to let me have the upper hand.

-Must be willing to banter back and forth with me. I will get bored and lose interest otherwise.

-Must be into exciting and potentially dangerous activities, like stealing road signs, driving like a maniac, and getting arrested by the police.

Actually, scratch that last one. There is a difference between risky and reckless. Then there is "retarded." (I'm still undecided on where to place "posting personal ads on Craigslist.")

In turn, will never call you too much (although I won't hesitate to call you out) nor will I make you feel guilty about not "spending enough time with me." I won't nag you about commitment (or "where this relationship is going") because it will never be "that" serious. We won't talk about feelings because, well, I'd rather not.

Only short-listed applicants will be contacted (no phone calls or multiple e-mails, please).

•it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1737517917

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/cto/1881050881.html

Sweet Ass 2001 Ford Taurus - $2100 (hayward / castro valley)
Date: 2010-08-04, 2:56PM PDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

Holy crap! What kind of badassary is this?!
A 2001 Black Ford Taurus!
Get the hell out of here!
This car is a god amongst other, smaller cars. It eats dead dinosaur to power its black dinosaur hating heart!
IT FUCKING EATS DEAD DINOSAURS!

Ever seen that scene in movies where theres a badass explosion in the background and someones walking away from without even looking back. You know where they got the idea. yeah thats right. This fucking car walks away from explosions and doesnt even look back. Its lost plenty a pair of Gigantic sunglasses doing this so it just lets his best friend Samuel L Jackson dramatize it from now on.

This is what life is like if you dont buy this car:

Look at this pathetic punkass. Not a lady in site. Im sure he hasnt been laid since Clinton was in office (everyone was getting laid then. awwwwwwwww yeah)
Now look what happens when you buy the car

BAM SON! This car will get you so many girls. Not weak ass girls. Strong ones. To open jars and shit.
All this for only $2100! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!

Look at that sweet ass lens flare. Its like im watching Star Trek. FUUUUUUCK!!

And this motherfucker comes equipped with an ipod cassete thing. So you can blast Tegan and Sara for fucking Dayzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Oh shit! What the fuck?! Is that a lego batman Hanging off the rear view? and it comes with the fucking car?! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

So your probably like, "Dude why would you sell such an awesome ass car"
WELL ILL TELL YOU WHY YOU NOSY ASS!!
Im moving to Hawaii at the end of August. Thats right. Fucking Hawaii. Beaches and shit.
And those Coconut Drinks dont come cheap you know. They probably have like a small umbrella tax or something. I dunno. I dont live there yet.
If you wanna test drive the shit out of this and maybe grab some Taco Bell while we are at it.
Text me at (510)XXX-7089.

THAT was a cool-ass ad!

That car is LAME!!! I got me the '99 Taurus in Hooker Red with the classic oval rear window. 24 valve DOHC 6 cylinder engine with 130,000 miles runs like a scalded-ass ape! :lol:

OMG - that's funny Mike! Nice contribution!

I am so friggin confused right now...

I mean on the one hand, OH MY GAWD THAT TAURUS IS LIKE A BIG SCOOP OF LICORICE ICE CREAM: BLACK, SWEET, & COOL!!!

On the other hand, TIKI JEEP!!! Dunno if you guys have heard this but there is a goldanged Hummer humpin TIKI JEEP!!!

I gotta go do some serious soul searching.

Ryan's new ad has the Magnum PI with a chick Higgins fantasy in it:

Looking for housing in xchange for? (north county coastal)

Date: 2010-08-16, 4:14PM PDT
Reply to: [email protected] [

Hello there,
I am currently looking for a place to live in exchange for certain talents I posses.
I have various different construction skills and know how to buld and maintain
an organic garden. Or possibly a prop 215 garden..? whatever your fancy may be I will entertain it..
I can also help with any other "man" duties you may require because I am a sort
of modern day rennassiance man and can do it all, very well actually.... :)
This would be the perfect situation for a rich divorcee in Rancho Santa Fe to have
a personal security guard ( I'm 6'4" 200 lbs. in shape) and pool boy all in one.
Maybe you have an empty pool house you want occupied to feel safer by yourself? (kind of the Magnum P.I. feel you know?) Anyways, if this sounds fitting please contact me.
Thanks and have a beautiful day.

Ryan

Posted August 23, 2010

TIKI - Salmon House Restaurant - Buy or Trade - $500

*Here's a Great piece of Tacoma History. If you remember the Salmon House Restaurant (where McCabe's is now), you may remember the Canoe on the ceiling and putting money into the Tiki's mouth. (It collected donations for Mary Bridge Childrens Hospital.) The collection box can be locked and is made from an old "High Voltage" sign.

He's been busy since his Salmon House days -- even collecting donations at the Packwood Swap meet for the White Pass Food Bank.

The price is $500.00 but I'd be willing to TRADE as well. I'd be interested in Blacksmith or shop tools, Boy Scout patch collections, coin collections etc... Basically, Guy stuff.

Call Dave for more info at... *

Hello, is this Dave? Hi Dave, I called for more info. Uhm, so like, where's the tiki in the ad you posted?

Buzz, Craigslist has eliminated your favorite source of fodder for this thread

*HARTFORD, Conn. — Craigslist closed the adult services section of its website Saturday, replacing it with a black bar that says "censored," just over a week after a group of state attorneys general said there weren't enough protections against blocking potentially illegal ads promoting prostitution. *

It's funny to some but others depend on the Adult Services ads to make ends meet. I mean, what's the poor guy below gonna do now? Make clay mugs and ashtrays to sell beside the road? He can barely speak English and probably walks with his knuckles dragging the ground!

TUJUNGA SAVAGE MAN MAKE ALL LADIES HAPPY-HAPPY MUCH!

*You lady who stuck with wimpy man child husband or boyfriend and need touch of real man? Tujunga Savage Man is answer! He 100% real man, all muscle, few words. Tujunga Savage Man know all secret paths of pleasure through your lady places. Make plan to visit Cave of Pleasure where Tujunga Savage Man rock your world! Cave of Pleasure open 24 hours of day for lady who want company of real man. Soft touch or wild time, Tujunga Savage Man always satisfy. Tujunga Savage Man he also light vanilla scented candle, play Barry White, have chilled chardonnay, all stuff lady like.

Tujunga Savage Man: He all muscle, no girly hair on head, strong arms, soft skin.

You: Lady only, full purse and generous hands.

You call today, come and get happy-happy!*

This message was edited by woofmutt on 9/5/2010 to change the spelling "Tojunga" to the correct Tujunga. Stoopid Califusa town names! Why can't they have normal easy to spell town names like Puyallup, Hoquiam, Issaquah, Snoqualmie, or Sequim???

[ Edited by: woofmutt 2010-09-05 11:03 ]

I think GROG is from Tujunga....
That's probably his ad.

Buzzy Out!

On 2010-09-05 11:15, Bay Park Buzzy wrote:
I think GROG is from Tujunga....
That's probably his ad.

Buzzy Out!

Geez, I was thinkin' the same thing!

Grog make Unga, HAPPY-HAPPY MUCH!

What happened to "being discreet" and "anonymity"?

What happened to "being discreet" and "anonymity"? -GROG-

Good point. If one were providing intimate services to lonely women it'd probably be a good idea to mention "being discreet" and "anonymity" in the ad.

Posted 9/5/2010

Lincoln Logs Big 'L" Ranch - $15 (Bellevue)

*Lincoln Logs Big "L" Ranch set in excellent condition from non-smoking home. This set is basically brand new and was only played with a handful of times since my kid is not a builder. *

Great, your kid is gonna be another American who doesn't know how to actually do anything.

Posted 9/6/10

Montana Bison Skull Buffalo Taxidermy - $40 (Bellevue/Factoria)

I found this American Bison skull in a grassy meadow while hiking on an expansive private southwest Montana ranch two years ago. It's not in pristine shape but it's not damaged either. To me, it's more about the story anyhow. The story of this large iconic animal grazing and finally giving it's life back to the wild plains from where it was born. It would make a nice addition to any flower garden or mounted up on the wall on a garage or shed.

That's a beautiful story, but you left out the part where you interrupt the giving back of life to the plains by bringing the skull back to Bellevue to sell on Craigslist.

posted 9/6/10

Bull Skull! Great for Country Decor or Man Cave! (Bellevue)

*Bull Skull in GREAT CONDITION! Horns measure approximately 28 inches from tip to tip, bullethole in front of head, has all the teeth. No longer fits decor of our home + we've recently downsized. If interested please email. Reasonable offer will be excepted. Thanks!
*

Excellent! Here's my unreasonable offer: Give it to me for free. And you deliver it.

posted 9/6/10

Bear & Dalmation Costumes - $7 (Green Lake)

*Two costumes asking 7 each Size 6 months *

So I guess if you buy the one on the right you've got to skin it yourself.

posted 9/6/10

Taxidermy Bear Head - $35 (Lake Stevens/East Everett)

Taxidermy bear head. One ear is missing!! But looking at it from the front view you cannot tell. Only if you look at it from the side.

Wanna trade for a table with three legs missing? If you stick it in a corner and nail it to the wall it doesn't fall over.

$1 FREE RENT FOR ONE LUCKY ATTRACTIVE LADY !!

Date: 2010-09-13, 1:37PM PDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

Hello,

I'm a male in his late 20's. I am offering free rent for one attractive lady! I know it's very hard to find employment or pay rent in this terrible economy. So I'm doing a good deed and offering free rent to one attractive lady in exchange for intimate and fun times under the bed sheets. wink wink

Please respond with details about yourself:
Age?
Ethnicity?
Height/weight?
Measurements including bra size?

Also respond with your pictures and phone number.

Thanks! Looking forward to hear from you!!!

In the rooms wanted ads:

We need help (Carlsbad)
Date: 2010-09-14, 12:25PM PDT
Reply to: [email protected]

Please respond with pics.

Funny how times have changed. When I was a kid most young women wanted to meet a nice man and get married and make a nice home. But it seems these gals just want to meet someone via Craigslist and make the 5-O-clock news when they mysteriously go missing.

$500 swap my trailer for your beach house (san diego)

Date: 2010-10-19, 6:56PM PDT
Reply to: [email protected]
i live in a double wide nice trailer park in san ysidro, with nice carpet, windows open great, although we do have one leak from our roof in the kitchen. our water heater is past due, so takes awhile to heat up, its okay if your a morning person wake up at 4-5am turn it on, water will be hot by 8am, beautiful view of lovely tijuana.no violence really in neighbor hood, el green eyes is our neighbor in a local gang, he will have you back anyday, let him know your staying at sad boi's house, and you'll be alright. i'm looking to swap for a nice big house near the beach preferred with a firplace. i always imagined to stay the weekend in a nice big house, not to mention i'm going out holloween weekend and I need to impress the ladies with a nice house.. if your interested please send me emails. thank you, much appreciation .

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/540076210.html

For Sale - beautiful pink "vagina couch" that I made in art school and no longer have space for. The couch is large: measures 5' 3" long, 3' 3" wide at the middle, and stands 2' 3" tall (and is heavy like a couch). The pics are from my portfolio and are several years old; as a result, the couch has some scuffmarks and stains around the bottom from being moved, but otherwise is in excellent shape. A professional upholsterer helped me build the couch, so it is also functional and durable as a piece of furniture. The couch must be picked up in Mendocino, a 3-hour drive north of SF. I am asking for $600 and a loving home! Call Willow at [deleted] or reply to posting.

Amazing couch Sabu! Hope you buy it !

This headline (posted 2010-10-25) makes me think of both Blazing Saddles and a Violent Femme's song.

Wanted - White Girl's Cowboy boots size 1-3

(Posted 2010-10-24)

FUNKY CHAIR - $25

*UP FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION IS AN OLD CHAIR WITH SIDE ARMS.

THIS CHAIR WAS USED IN OUR SON'S ROOM AS A READING CHAIR...*

I wonder if they had a sign on the house that said "Never mind the dog, beware of our son's reading chair."

attention all Hugh Hefners (san diego)

Date: 2010-10-31, 2:54PM PDT
Reply to: [email protected]

How would it feel to invite one of your guy friends over and have him see that you have 3 young hotties as your roomates? We're all down here in San Diego and we all grew up together in a small town up in Northern California. We have a 4 month old female German Shepard who is in obedience class. Fully potty trained and very friendly. We are all looking to move into a place together, we're 420 friendly but hardly ever go out. We are open minded and love to have fun. We have goofy personality's and each our own. Rent is neg. and we will also of course take care of the place and make sure everything is always picked up and in its place. We LOVE cooking and taking care of each other. Hopefully you wont decline for us to make you a great dinner and keep your place spotless! If you think that we might be a good match for you, shoot us an email or give us a call :wink: Let us know about you and what you're looking for and about your situation.
Talk to you soon! 5 three 0 three 5 five 6 zero 0 three

Sweet! I've been looking for a Tijuana dentist that makes housecalls!

YOU ARE MISSING TEEH?
DO IT YOU WILL NEED THEM OUT TEETH AND VERY EXPENSIVE? WE CAN HELP, AND OVER ALL VERY AFFORORDABLE PRICE.
WE SERVICE ALL HOME FROM TIJUANA TO LOS ANGELES. PRICES FROM $ TO $ 350.00DLLS 150.DLLS
DO ALL KINDS OF REMOVABLE DENTURES.
CALL AND ASK FOR YOUR FREE ESTIMATE OR SEND U.S. AN EMAIL WITH YOUR PHONE NUMBER AND WE WILL CONTACT YOU AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
BOOK YOUR APPOINTMENT .... ATICIPACION VALID UNTIL 31 DECEMBER 2010

Posted 2010-12-07

Looking for a Editor & Shooter $$ (Bellevue, WA)

Posted 2011-03-05

Hawaiian /Tiki Bar Display - $150 (Olympia)

*Very cool custom Hawaiian Display...Could be used as a Tiki bar? $150 *

That's a swell price for such sweet custom work.

Craigslist Wonders UPDATE!!!

This awesome "tiki" which was previously offered at the ridiculous amount of $500 is now available for a much more sensible $250!

TIKI Piggy Bank - Cedar wood carving - $250 (Tacoma, WA)
Date: 2011-03-05

This is a BIG TIKI carved in cedar. It's also a cool part of Tacoma history since it used to be in the old Salmon House Restaurant. (where McCabe's is now) It collected donations for Mary Bridge Children's Hospital. Very cool -- locally carved. Call Dave for more info at...

If $250 seems kinda steep I have a similar sized old log which my dog Critter has chewed up pretty good* and it now looks a heckuva lot like this "tiki piggy bank." It's also historical cuz the log was a tree that blew down during that big windstorm on the day Clinton was inaugurated. Yours for 100 bucks. You haul.

*I dunno why Critter likes to chew on the log so much. He's kinda nuts.

Posted 2011-09-30

8' Tall Tiki - $795 (West Seattle)

Hello,
I am selling this solid cedar 50 year old 8' foot tall Tiki statue carved by a famous Hawaiian carver Weiwiuli in excellent condition.
Serious inquires only. No trades, no low ball offers and no scammers please. Spammers what is your point? I don't get it. I will not ship it, so F. off.

The tiki is a bit too rich for my blood but I'd be interested to see what they want for the crazy new wave sunglasses the gal is wearing.

Posted 2011-09-30

Fabulous Pair of Vintage Ceramic Lamps - $120

AWESOME lemony yellow porcelain lamps...Fabulous shape and style. One of them has a hairline fracture - see close up photo - but these are so unique and cool!

Here's the close up of the "hairline fracture":

If you think that's a hairline fracture you might be interested in this car which is slightly dented on the rear driver's side door...

After they sell the tiki will Ms Anonymous be able to afford a bra?

Hey, it was a cold day!

Nifty looking stove. Not sure if it's worth $700 but...

http://santafe.craigslist.org/atq/2649551398.html

Posted 2011-10-04

unique leather native american picture - $125 (Oakharbor Wa)

face made of leather,elk hair feather in hair is seagull with necklace made of glass crow beads,turquiose and bone. throwing axe made of moose antler,copper and turkey feather,with pipe made of deer antler,leather,bull horn,brass,glass crow beads and turkey feather.frame is alder with moose antler feather tied on top,wood arrow made of copper and turkey feathers.

Finally! All the Native American art elements you love in one "unique" piece!

On 2011-10-01 18:39, woofmutt wrote:
Posted 2011-09-30

---

8' Tall Tiki - $795 (West Seattle)

Hello,
I am selling this solid cedar 50 year old 8' foot tall Tiki statue carved by a famous Hawaiian carver Weiwiuli in excellent condition.
Serious inquires only. No trades, no low ball offers and no scammers please. Spammers what is your point? I don't get it. I will not ship it, so F. off.

---

The tiki is a bit too rich for my blood but I'd be interested to see what they want for the crazy new wave sunglasses the gal is wearing.

Only 10 bucks at Amazon!

Posted 2012-05-08

Writers block

So I am writing this story, and I have 100 ways I can write it but idk how to get over my block. Email me if you can help

There might be "100 ways (you) can write it" but the one that uses standard English and punctuation would probably be best.