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Beyond Tiki, Bilge, and Test / Bilge

new threads we need on Tiki Central

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J

I'm working on "JOHN-O's Guide to Woofmutt and GROG" !!

That will show up in 3 different searches.

I wanted to post a modern example of a Swizzle Stick, but I think the Swizzle Stick threads are too hard to find. I tried looking up "Smizzle""Kizzle","Baba-O-Reilly","Spoon", and "Redcoat" and found nothing. I propose the following new threads:

"Swizzle Me That"
"Swizzle Me Those"
"Swizzle Gallery"
"Gallery of Swizzles"
"Where's the Swizzle"
"Show Me The Swizzle!"
"It's a Swizzle, fo Shizzle, my Nizzle"
"Swizzley-Bear Adams"
"Plop Plop Swizzle Swizzle, Oh What A Relief it Izzle"
"Are These Twizzlers Tiki?"
"Tattoos, Chicks, & Swizzle Sticks"
"Swizzles that will make you Whizzle"
"Swizzle Misfortunes: Pictures of Swizzle Sticks I've Broken"
"Swizzle Like It's Nobody's Bizzle"
"Crypto-Swizzles""Swizzle Erotica Thread"
"What Swizzle Are You Using Right Now?"

UB

Unga like Grog's "new threads".

[ Edited by: Unga Bunga 2010-10-06 17:04 ]

BB

If I Use The Search Feature Will The Boogeyman Get Me?

It's All ABout Me And I Can't Be Bothered To Read Previous Posts Not About Me Or By Me!

If I Don't Post Something At Least Once A Day I'll Die.

I'll Cry If You Comment On MY Thread And I'll Cry If You Don't.

Photos With Hanford...No Texting Please...*

*I've got this one ready to go. :D

S

On 2010-10-06 12:57, Sabu The Coconut Boy wrote:
I wanted to post a modern example of a Swizzle Stick, but I think the Swizzle Stick threads are too hard to find. I tried looking up "Smizzle""Kizzle","Baba-O-Reilly","Spoon", and "Redcoat" and found nothing. I propose the following new threads:

"Swizzle Me That"
"Swizzle Me Those"
"Swizzle Gallery"
"Gallery of Swizzles"
"Where's the Swizzle"
"Show Me The Swizzle!"
"It's a Swizzle, fo Shizzle, my Nizzle"
"Swizzley-Bear Adams"
"Plop Plop Swizzle Swizzle, Oh What A Relief it Izzle"
"Are These Twizzlers Tiki?"
"Tattoos, Chicks, & Swizzle Sticks"
"Swizzles that will make you Whizzle"
"Swizzle Misfortunes: Pictures of Swizzle Sticks I've Broken"
"Swizzle Like It's Nobody's Bizzle"
"Crypto-Swizzles"
"Swizzle Erotica Thread"
"What Swizzle Are You Using Right Now?"

I can give you all of those. Except maybe not the Erotica. Well I can, i'm just not sure you'd like it.

On 2010-10-06 16:07, Bora Boris wrote:
*I've got this one ready to go. :D

Born Ready Boris!

S
Swanky posted on Thu, Oct 7, 2010 5:56 AM

Hey, where's the aloha? Why don't you guys just make yourselves a Mai Tai and relax. It's all about fun isn't it? I am no expert on Tiki and I am not a purist, but I know what Tiki is and you guys are making a big fuss about something that is supposed to be a party. Kewlit bruddahs!

w00f!

W

On 2010-10-07 05:56, Swanky wrote:
Hey, where's the aloha? Why don't you guys just make yourselves a Mai Tai and relax. It's all about fun isn't it? I am no expert on Tiki and I am not a purist, but I know what Tiki is and you guys are making a big fuss about something that is supposed to be a party. Kewlit bruddahs!

w00f!

I think Swanky had the best final words on this topic. Time to lock the thread.

Funny, I never recall a Bilge thread getting locked.

G
GROG posted on Thu, Oct 7, 2010 10:23 AM

New threads we need on TC:

"Amazing lost Tiki temple discovered" It's been closed and forgotten for 50 years. The inside is like a time capsule. Built by Eli Hedly and decorated with tikis by Milan Guanko, Barney West, and Leroy Schmaltz. With amazing black velvet paintings by Leeteg.

"Witco and the Devolution of Tiki" :wink:

"Fire at Ken Ruzic 20 year Retrospective" All of his art was destroyed. Ironically, it was his own chain smoking that set it off. He'd still be with us if he hadn't rushed back in to save his favorite bong. Ravenne suffered some minor burns but will recover completely when she instinctively tried following him in, but the whole building collapsing in on Ruzic just as he entered saved her life.

**"Congratulations GROG on marrying the Playboy Playmate of the year!"**It's too bad she's a rich nymphomaniac with bisexual tendencies. But. living with her at the Playboy mansion helps ease the burden. GROG doesn't post anymore on TC because there's no internet available on the Playboy private jet they use constantly on their one year honeymoon trip around the world.

"Tom Thordarson's artistic talent magically transferred into GROG" Art has never been so effortless and fun before. GROG's last painting has been aquired by the Smithsonian, and he is starting on a commission for the President to be hung in the oval office.

"Lost Island paradise discovered by GROG and Playmate wife" At the end of his one year honeymoon trip around the world, GROG and his wife discover a lost Poleynesian island paradise. It's like Hawaii and Tahiti before they were discovered by the outside world. The topless women running around are the most beautiful women in the world. The men are the most accomplished tiki carvers the world has ever seen. The spirit of Aloha is stronger than it ever was on any previous Polynesian island. In the most extravagant Luau the world has ever seen, the islanders make GROG the honorary king of the island and present him with 25 of the most beautiful virgins on the island as his wives. He spends the rest of his life painting incredible black velvet paintings of beautiful wahines with the artistic talent he got from THOR, undisturbed by the outside world. His paintings become worth millions after he dies quietly and blissfully at the age of 105 after a night of satisfying his 25 newest virgin wives he was presented for his 50th anniversary as king. He goes down in history as the most beloved monarch the island has ever had. The whole world mourns his passing. The day he became king becomes an international holiday and is celebrated worldwide with extravagant luaus in his honor. A 50 foot gold statue of GROG sculpted by world renowned sculptor, SQUID is decorated in leis every year on the anniversary of his death. He is posthumously awarded the Nobel Peace prize and is put on the TIME Magazine cover as Man of the Century by retiring editor Woofmutt. Lucas Vigor's 8 grandchildren playing in their world famous band, the Blue Hawaiian Hula Girls, perform their #1 hit "The Mighty GROG" and it breaks all the music records as the most played song EVER and becomes bigger than any Elvis or Beatle song ever was. Sven Kirsten's granddaughter writes a biography on GROG's life which becomes an instant best seller and becomes the basis for a movie "The Passion of the GROG" which becomes the top grossing movie of all time and wins the most academy awards ever given to a single movie. Brad Pitt's oldest son, considered by People magazine as the most handsome actor in the world, plays GROG and wins the academy award hands down. A TV series spin-off becomes the longest running TV series of all time winning more Emmys than any other TV show in history. The Saturday morning cartoon series is beloved by children worldwide and is bigger than Barney ever was. Bamboo Ben's son becomes elected President of the United States due mainly to the popularity of the long running Bamboo Ben comic in Tiki Magazine which has become the largest, most circulated magazine in the world. Nick Camara's children fight over his multi-billion dollar fortune after he dies of heartbreak upon hearing of the passing of his good friend GROG. Crazy Al's commemorative GROG mug sets new records on ebay as the most expensive and sought after mug ever. The Tonga Hut, owned by Hiphipahula, is always completely packed and is the only bar licensed to sell "GROG" drinks. Her original drink, "The Passion of the GROG" is the number one Tiki drink of all time. Kirby carves a GROG pendant hoping it will finally get him in Tiki Magazine.


GROG
GROG miss Tiki-Kate

[ Edited by: GROG 2010-10-07 10:50 ]

W

I think GROG had the best final words on this topic. Time to lock the thread.

TM

I think we need an auto-tune thread:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bduQaCRkgg4&feature=related

W

I think Lucas Vigor said it best. Time to lock the thread.

we could use a "Tiki Centrals Douche of the Day!" thread
I am not suggesting anyone in particular,it would come in handy for future use....

UB

I think we should lock it tomorrow.

W

I think Unga Bunga said it best. Time to lock the thread. Tomorrow.

TM

I think Atomic Tiki Jeep said it best!

"Lock it! Lock it! Lock It!"

(where is basement kahuna with his locking and popping and basement breakdancing when you need him??)

BB

This thread is just like Tiki Central "OPEN 24 HOURS" and it stays open! :lol:

W

"This thread is just like Tiki Central "OPEN 24 HOURS" and it stays open!"

I agree with Bora Boris. Time to lock this thread.

Oh we're open

What else have you got?

On 2010-10-07 13:17, woofmutt wrote:
I think Unga Bunga said it best. Time to lock the thread. Tomorrow.

And free mai tais tomorrow too!

W

Oh we're open

Wait a second...If I'm tired of a thread and don't think anyone else should add more posts to the thread why can't it be locked?

Keep in mind that I'm also apparently incapable of just ignoring the thread. So what more reason could you possibly need to lock it???

W

"And free mai tais tomorrow too!" -Unga Bunga-

I think Unga Bunga said it best. Now...

BB

Woofmutt I believe in you! I know you can stay away from this thread. Why not go outside and pick an apple or visit Jimi Hendrix's grave or catch a fish at that outdoor market where they throw fish? I think that's what Seattle people do, right? I could be wrong. :roll:

W

When tourists ask us where Hendrix's grave is we holler "Experience this!" and then we throw apples at them.

The tourists who ask "Where's Pike's Place Market?" get a well manhandled salmon slapped up alongside their heads.

Yet people say Seattle is an unfriendly city.

It's Pike Place Market, by the way. But I really shouldn't be so ornery about that minor mistake, real locals call the giant aerospace and defense company "Boeing's." And I should never explain a joke but my calls to lock this thread are a blatant and open mocking of actual calls to lock threads once the person who is making the call has had his/her fill of it.

S

What are we talking about again?

How about a thread: "Show us your T!ts" Grog, do NOT post there!

G
GROG posted on Fri, Oct 8, 2010 10:21 AM

What's wrong with GROG' tits? GROG have some nice man-boobs.

On 2010-10-08 10:21, GROG wrote:
What's wrong with GROG' tits? GROG have some nice man-boobs.

Not to mention his French braided armpits.

And what Woofmut said....

4

To get this thread back on topic (you're welcome), how come there's a thread for People With Tiki Tattoos, and a thread for People With No Tattoos, but no thread for People With Tattoos That Are Not Tiki Tattoos?
I believe this is a major oversight and a personal affront to me!

W

It was in no way an oversight, it was a coldly calculated plan, one which has clearly been more successful than the thread creators could have ever dreamed!

Back when the various Tiki tattoo threads were started and the no tattoos thread was finally created there was some secret discussions as to what would most be an affront to those with tattoos that weren't Tiki. Ultimately it was decided that ignoring them would be the most affronting thing that could be done.

When an evil scheme planted in darkness comes into full bloom it is sweet scent indeed!

Quote:

I suggest that this thread be locked,

[ Edited by: Lucas Vigor 2009-06-14 14:27 ]


W

What Is The Most Tikish Tick?

"What's my pork" with GROG

"What's my short ribs" with Mad Dog Mike

"What's my lamb chop" with Sabu the Coconut Boy

"What's my steamed chicken breast" with Little Lost Tiki

"What's my SPAM" with Mai Tai

"What's my venison jerky" with Woofmutt

"What's my stew" with Babalu

"What's my olive loaf" with Bora Boris

"What's my all those above meats for less, shipping included" with Bay Park Buzzy

you are just to damn verbose,woofmutt.

But more morose. I think of death and the end of days constantly.

What's The Most Tiki Brand of Facial Tissue For Drying My Tiki Tears?

(Would also be a good country-exotica song.)

MT

On 2010-10-13 23:26, woofmutt wrote:
What's The Most Tiki Brand of Facial Tissue For Drying My Tiki Tears?

(Would also be a good country-exotica song.)

The "No Moai Tears" brand?

A

What threads make you yawn?

It has recently come to light that some TCers are interested in expressing the desire to yawn on various threads, when the opportunity arises. In other words, when they find a thread boring, they need a way to convey this important information, because, as we all know, every reaction and emotion must be documented!

So my point is, why have that information distributed on all those different threads, when it could be consolidated in one fascinating new addition to TC? Better yet, make a new thread for each individual who feels a yawn coming, such as:

What threads make bigtikidude yawn?

That should contribute nicely to the "less signal, more noise" trends we've got going.

-Randy

W

I know this idea is gonna seem pretty out there to a lotta folks but I'll suggest it anyway...

When I grow tired of a thread I stop posting on it and I also stop reading it.

Now I can see the problem with this for some of you: "Sure, I could stop contributing to and reading a thread I'm bored with," you might be thinking "But how will everyone else know I'm bored with the thread?"

Good question. If you're bored with a thread and plan to stop adding to it or reading it but you're afraid others will think you've stopped participating in the thread because you just forgot about it or you've fallen and you can't get up to your computer you should follow these two simple steps:

Step 1. Make a post to the thread you're bored with that reads something like this:
I'm bored with this thread and will not be adding anything else to it or reading it beyond this point.*****

Step 2. Stop adding anything else to the thread or reading it beyond that point.

It's particularly important that you stick to Step 2 because if you keep coming back to the thread to make one final point it will seriously lesson the strength of the post you made in Step 1 and will kind of make you look like a moron.

*****If you want to you can list all the ways you've been wronged or call people a few names. I suggest you avoid this and just keep it short and to the point. Otherwise people might conclude that you're a complete jackass.

I am not bored with this thread to the point where I will stop posting on it yet.

Sometimes if I become bored with a thread I'll stop reading and then a day or so later I'll notice that people are still posting in it? So I'll post something like "WOW this is still going?" when it's clearly obvious that it is but what you can't see is me scratching my head while I think "I'm not reading this anymore, why would anyone else?" then I'll take a nap until I hear myself snore (Approx 4 minutes into nap)

H

I find myself bored to death with the subject on many occasions but for some strange sadistic reason I find myself coming back and checking to see if I missed anything anyways and I always hesitate from posting anything because in reality I will be back checking over and over again.

Here's a couple threads needed so don't lock it yet!

  1. I could care less about Tiki but I love the parties
  2. Parties I went too and got hammered at for free
  3. Pictures of me at parties with VIP's (heavy images)
  4. I went to a free party and took 314 blurry pictures let me post them all here
  5. I went to a free party and look at the left overs stashed in my pockets
  6. Roll call for the free party! Post here
  7. There was Tiki at that party? All I know is the free drinks were bad but complain like always here:
  8. Free party calendar posted here:
  9. Anyone out there have a Tiki shirt I can borrow to go to a tiki event so I look the part?
  10. I don't really like tiki drinks even if free, but here's my critique

[ Edited by: Hiphipahula 2010-10-20 08:29 ]

LIKE.

On 2010-10-14 14:13, aquarj wrote:
What threads make you yawn?

It has recently come to light that some TCers are interested in expressing the desire to yawn on various threads, when the opportunity arises. In other words, when they find a thread boring, they need a way to convey this important information, because, as we all know, every reaction and emotion must be documented!

So my point is, why have that information distributed on all those different threads, when it could be consolidated in one fascinating new addition to TC? Better yet, make a new thread for each individual who feels a yawn coming, such as:

What threads make bigtikidude yawn?

That should contribute nicely to the "less signal, more noise" trends we've got going.

-Randy

MT

On 2010-10-20 11:28, Coco Loco wrote:
LIKE.

On 2010-10-14 14:13, aquarj wrote:
What threads make you yawn?

It has recently come to light that some TCers are interested in expressing the desire to yawn on various threads, when the opportunity arises. In other words, when they find a thread boring, they need a way to convey this important information, because, as we all know, every reaction and emotion must be documented!

So my point is, why have that information distributed on all those different threads, when it could be consolidated in one fascinating new addition to TC? Better yet, make a new thread for each individual who feels a yawn coming, such as:

What threads make bigtikidude yawn?

That should contribute nicely to the "less signal, more noise" trends we've got going.

-Randy

Yawn... Where IS that yawning emoticon, anyways???

A

The hue and cry of "less focus on tiki, on more TC forums!" has reached a feverish pitch lately. While it's true that Beyond and Bilge were created in 2002 and 2004 respectively as the places for non-tiki topics, they have a flaw. When some active threads are moved to these forums, some people have voiced anguish and refused to continue posting. So how can these voices be heard? Easy! With more threads in the main tiki forums, like these...

*What non-tiki clothes do TCers wear?

What non-tiki music do TCers listen to?

What non-tiki movies do TCers watch?

What non-tiki art have TCers created?

What non-tiki locations have TCers discovered?

What non-tiki events have TCers attended?

What non-tiki food do TCers eat?

What non-tiki food do tiki restaurants also serve?

What non-tiki drinks do tiki bars also serve?

What jobs do TCers have?

What kind of phone plans do TCers use?

Do TCers do online banking?

Do TCers drive, or use public transit?

Do TCers rent, or own their homes?

What temperatures do TCers like to keep their homes?

How many pillows do TCers like to have on their beds?*

NOTE: for all of these topics, it is ESSENTIAL that they be created in the main tiki forums and NOT in Beyond or Bilge, for two reasons. First, anything that any visitor to TC does in their life is by definition part of the tiki lifestyle, and is therefore tiki-related. Second, no one will look at these exciting questions and post replies if they're in Beyond or Bilge, and that's no good!

We also need more topics and threads talking about talking about tiki, and what we can talk about while talking about tiki, and what we think of the people who have opinions about what we can talk about when talking tiki. True this has been discussed ad nauseum in many threads. True that TC already has a mission statement that gives boundaries that would be clear enough for most people, as well as specifics on "What Tiki Central Isn't". And true that the collective whole of TC topics on the various forums give a pretty clear sense for anyone who is in earnest looking for where the boundaries roughly exist. But who has time to read all that? If I want to start a new thread to satisfy MY questions about what's tiki, or to make sure everyone knows about MY perception of the injustices or inconsistencies of the written and unwritten rules of TC, why should I have to bother actually looking at what's been written before? I have a first amendment right to bring up redundant questions that troll for dissent, rehashing old issues! This is why we need more threads like these exciting new topics...

*What is tiki?

Is this tiki?

How about this, isn't this not non-tiki?

Here's another one, you wouldn't tell me it's not tiki, would you?

Wait, come back, I want to show you another one! Tiki, eh?

Where are you going? I've got a serious question - tiki or not?

This had better be tiki. Only a snob would say it's not.

I seriously want opinions on whether this is tiki. Unless you think it's not tiki. If you think it's not tiki and you're bigbro or Sabu, then I guess you can post, but really I'd prefer just hearing from those who agree with me.

A-HA! They served me a cup of tea at Trader Vic's! So tea is a tiki drink right? So there, all you sanctimonious stinkers who think you know what tiki is!

I have an axe to grind about the "What Tiki Central Isn't" list. Post here if you do too!*

-Randy

CL

Like!

yawn

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