Bar Rescue: Pirate Bar episode

Caught the season opener of Bar Rescue and just had to see what people on TC thought of it. The gist is that there is a pirate-themed bar in Silver Springs, MD that is failing -- primarily because the operators are idiots -- and it's up the Jon Taffer -- who is also an idiot, but just not as much of an idiot as the owners -- to save it. He completely dismisses the idea of a pirate bar and turns it into probably the worst kind of bar my wife and I can even imagine: The Corporate Bar. Because nothing is more appealing to people stuck in cubicle hell all day then the thought of relaxing and unwinding in the friendly confines of The Corporate Bar! He also installs some kind of weird automatic cocktail-making machine in the front bar (because who doesn't want their cocktail to be made by a machine). He also has them using some kind of commercially-bought ice balls. He babbles on about the impurities in water f***ing up drinks, which I guess is news to me and all of those other great places that make cocktails without using one of his sponsor's product. And that's what any struggling bar needs is to have to buy all their ice from a vendor!

He also seems to think that lunch traffic is going to be the savior of the bar, not realizing that most people in that kind of office environment don't have an hour plus for lunch each day.

I would have loved to have Martin Cate to walk in and have Jon explain to him how it's impossible for a place like Smuggler's Cove to be successful.

Anyway, I kept thinking that in most people's minds, it's not a large leap to go from pirate to tiki and I kept recalling all the threads we've seen on TC over the years of people thinking of opening a tiki bar in their area. I have to wonder how prevalent Taffer's mindset is throughout the industry and how that might play into trying to open a tiki bar.

Anybody here have any thoughts on the subject?

And a preview here:
http://www.spike.com/video-clips/oac79u/bar-rescue-yo-ho-ho-and-a-bottle-of-dumb-sneak-peek

On 2012-07-31 11:22, TikiHardBop wrote:
and it's up the Jon Taffer -- who is also an idiot, but just not as much of an idiot as the owners -- to save it.

I agree, he's probably the most obnoxious person on TV at the moment. I couldn't finish the episode as it was too uncomfortable. I watched it last season and liked it a little more but in the end it's one of those shows like "Extreme Home Makeover" where they're like "Here's a big screen TV! All your problems are solved." then they lose their house but on Bar Rescue it's "Here's a new sink and a Chicken Wing recipe, now you should be rich in no time." :roll:

Hey, thanks for giving us a new place to rant! :wink:

I was a bit attracted to this show for the very reason that the host is so unlikely. This is cable TV and all hosts are supposed to be if not pretty or handsome, affable and cute. This guy is not. Ugly actually. Which means that when he is a jerk, it isn't like the other shows where you cut him slack cuz he is cute. And he isn't all nice and sweet. And thank god he doesn't have a Joker smile tattoeed onto his face!

He does seem to be pretty narrow. Everything is pretty close to the same. And yes, a machine is a great idea to this guy to keep costs down. I mean, a machine can make the drinks better than people when it is a Jack and Ginger. Ice? Make a drink bad? No, bartenders do that with something called Midori!

I assumed he's trash the place rather than get the theme perfected and fix the management. Oh well.

Needs more ferns!

And what are you willing to bet that the show participation contract has a clause that states you won't sue the host, production company, or sponsors should your business go belly up due to their makeover?

While I usually watch such makeover shows I'm constantly thinking to myself "That's a really stupid idea" and "Wow, that's incredibly ugly."

Bear

CAUTION: Reviews have spoilers on changes after show...

http://www.yelp.com/biz/corporate-bar-and-grill-silver-spring

Generally, the places selected by these shows are complete disasters to begin with so they can get maximum effect during "the reveal". It would not really be riveting TV to end a show with: "Well, your female clientele is up 35% and I've increased your weekday lunch traffic by %15, so we're a success!" And I've never seen this guy (and most "experts") offer much beyond the "no-shit-Sherlock" level of advice. I keep thinking that most of these shows would go away if potential businesses followed these rules first:

1. Cut the 500 item food/bar menu down to one or two pages.
2. Clean everything - front and back!
3. Count the number of things on your wall. Divide that number in half. That's how many things should be on your wall.
4. A gallon of paint does wonders!
5. Your food and cocktails suck! Trust me, they suck. Find a place with a similar focus and clientele that is doing well and go there and notice what they are doing that you aren't doing and start doing that.
6. Spell my name correctly on the check for my consultant's fee!

Here, write this down ,so you do not forget;
THERE IS ABSOLUTELY 'NOTHING' REAL ABOUT REALITY TELEVISION.
knowing this,you WILL sleep better tonight,......
your welcome.
TD

I've had enough run ins with reality TV to be well aware of that! But if you look at the credits, Jon Taffer is the executive producer, so he decides what makes it on the air. I would think that if I had executive control, I would choose footage that doesn't make me look like a giant ass.

They also did an episode on the Bamboo Beach Tiki Bar here in Ft. Lauderdale. The owner also owns the Ocean Manor hotel - they must have done the Hotel Rescue and Bar Rescue at the same time. The only thing Tiki about this bar are a few cheap imports and the big palapa hut. It is stumbling distance from the Mai Kai!

Thirteen employees in a 28 hundered square feet bar that's going broke!!
Looked like two bartenders on the night the show was there.
In fact they may have had more staff than customers, and it looks like the staff
drinks more than the customers.(How much booze do you think that place gives away each day?)
In Ohio drinking on the job at a bar is a liquor violation, sure it goes on, but I
would have told my staff not to do it on that night.
I would say it's the leadership/staff that makes a place work or not.
Most people are just not cut out for the restaurant/bar biz.
Even a Pirate would not live in his/her moms basement.

I'd never heard of this show until i read this thread, i'm not sure it even plays here, but i had the felling it was going to be just like Gordon Ramseys Kitchen Nightmares but about bars, not restaurants. And i was right, although no matter how much of a wanker Gordon Ramsey can be there is also something about him that makes him some what likeable, that Jon Taffer guy though, WOW, what a complete knob.

I understand and agree that having a theme bar might limit your clientele however the biggest problem with that place was the food and drinks more than anything. What he turned it into was a soulless generic bar like a million others. Even if i was a business man myself there would be no way i would even consider going to a place called 'The Corporate Bar'. You go to a bar to unwind, not somewhere that just seems like an extension of the office.

I agree with TikiHardBop, imagine being a bar owner and told you need to stock commercially-made ice balls. I think you'd tell him to $%#@ off straight away.

Caught this episode last night (repeat). Taffer is such a blowhard, and his make-over clients are so brain dead, it does make for some unintentionally laughable situations. Like the restaurant reboot reality shows, most of these people have no business owning a bar, but what amazes me is the potentially damaging publicity these places must receive especially after the show exposes the maggots in the soda gun or the dead rats in the fryer. I'd love to know if these places are still in existence a year or two down the road. BTW, I later caught another episode where one of Taffer's solutions was to train the staff the "art" of flair bartending. Er, how about first training them to make a drink or how not to be a total douchebag to your clientele?

looks like the place is closed already.

http://www.yelp.com/biz/corporate-bar-and-grill-silver-spring

They reverted back to their old ways:

http://piratztavern.com/story/

I'm guessing the owner still lives in her parent's basement too...

Yeah, the owners, like most owners on these programs, seem to be uniquely unqualified to run their establishment. The point of my thread, was how Taffer, who makes a living as an "expert" made a bunch of bone-head decisions as well. I thought it was interesting that he dismissed the pirate theme as unworkable from the outset. And I know that we on TC know differently, but I just have to wonder how this bias among industry "insiders" may group "pirate" with "tiki" and feel that this may be unworkable as well.

For a few moments of entertainment read the rebuttals to YELPers comments on the Piratz Bar location.

Last season they were in Yorba Linda at The Canyon Inn, Angels Sports Bar in Corona, and a place in Redondo Beach, CA.
http://www.yelp.com/biz/the-canyon-inn-yorba-linda

There are full online episodes here:
http://www.spike.com/full-episodes/is6m7q/bar-rescue-murphys-mess-season-2-ep-203

Some of the owners are too stubborn to take good advice, even though they are losing thousands of dollars per month.

Jon Taffer has to get angry at the beginning so that there is growth and change during the show. There has to be a struggle that is overcome, it is basic story telling.

I think he does a fantastic job, and sets the owners up for success. He analyzes the markets the bars are in, formulates a market niche for the bars, and provides training.

Some well thought out comments....now my 2 cents. I feel that yes, it is TV and somewhat "dramatic" and overblown with "intensity", but these owners are FAILING. Having spent my life in the business (and have had my share of bumps and bruises) I know one thing....if your service, drinks, and food suck, theme and concept mean nothing. You can be Tiki/Pirate/Old West/British Pub/Green Local Sourced Farm to Frickin Table/Whatever...if it's not operated like a business, it will FAIL. I truly do not think that "insiders" are against Tiki, I think not that many have done it right. I read what you lucky folks that have Tiki bars and restaurants around them say and you are usually spot on. The good ones survive and the bad ones don't. Understand your concept (with concept proper drinks and food) and have EXCELLENT SERVICE and you will grow. I remember the old saying in this biz..."you can't eat atmosphere". Thank you for this great site. OGR

[ Edited by: Or Got Rum? 2012-08-14 05:02 ]

Oh yea, one more thing...You have to have great CLEANING and SANITATION. Keep your Fryer oil FRESH-a huge pet peeve of mine...oh shit I could go on forever...Thanks! OGR

On 2012-08-14 05:00, Or Got Rum? wrote:
Some well thought out comments....now my 2 cents. I feel that yes, it is TV and somewhat "dramatic" and overblown with "intensity", but these owners are FAILING. Having spent my life in the business (and have had my share of bumps and bruises) I know one thing....if your service, drinks, and food suck, theme and concept mean nothing. You can be Tiki/Pirate/Old West/British Pub/Green Local Sourced Farm to Frickin Table/Whatever...if it's not operated like a business, it will FAIL. I truly do not think that "insiders" are against Tiki, I think not that many have done it right. I read what you lucky folks that have Tiki bars and restaurants around them say and you are usually spot on. The good ones survive and the bad ones don't. Understand your concept (with concept proper drinks and food) and have EXCELLENT SERVICE and you will grow. I remember the old saying in this biz..."you can't eat atmosphere". Thank you for this great site. OGR

[ Edited by: Or Got Rum? 2012-08-14 05:02 ]

well said - although i didn't hear any well thought out comments (other than your own) like you did here. All i heard was a bunch of folk that know alot about tiki and nothing about bar/restaurant ownership, ganging up, bad mouthing the host of the show, who, incidentally, happens to know what he's talking about. In he abrasive? yes, but in order to get through to these bone-headed bar owners, you have to be.

that said, the redondo beach episode was on last night - it's the old "tony's on the pier" place.... That old tiki structure still had a great shape from the outside but it became the dreadful Kilkenny pub- to be later renamed The Breakwall by the shows end...... It's such a cool structure, would have been great to revamp it as a tiki bar from it's former glory days.

Tipsy, the Redondo Location is across the pier from Old Tony's and up and over from what was new Tony's next to EL Torito. I was there recently and that side of the pier is getting a remodel and it looks like the Breakers is gone or at least their sign is. Old Tony's is still there and still cool.

Well, if the guy knows anything about the industry, I haven't seen any sign of it yet. From what I've seen, he takes people who are completely over their heads and mostly clueless and then dispenses what amounts to "no-shit-Sherlock" kind of advice in a loud, abusive way. He then brings in fancy industry people who teach them to make high end food and cocktails that are way beyond their capability to execute (conveniently using the ingredients of show sponsors). He then re-decorates the restaurant in a theme that is cold and corporate and sure to turn off any of what little existing clientele that they may have had. He then packs the restaurant with people corralled especially for the opening night event, claims success and rides off into the sunset.

And I know that this is reality TV, so that there is tons of manipulation and behind-the-scenes stuff that we don't see and the stuff that we do see has been edited to follow a certain "script". And that redecoration takes months of planning and rarely occurs "overnight" like we are led to believe. I just find it interesting that being executive producer and having control over what is being shown, he still allows himself to be shown as such a loudmouthed jerk.

Personally, it's one of my few guilty pleasures. It's like watching a car wreck where hapless, clueless deer-owners are being run over by a brain-dead, loud-mouthed truck driver.