Zombie Alert!

Found this in Lotta Livin' but I figured there'd be a few fans here:

IT BEGINS.

Monday, May 23, 2005
Shaken up by a burglary attempt: A Keene man tells of strange ordeal

MELANIE PLENDA and KAREN SANBORN
Sentinel Staff

Barking dogs and a gunshot weren’t enough to scare off a man who used a shovel to try to force his way into a Keene house Saturday night, the homeowner said.

Travis Saulnier, 26, of 173 Washington St., Keene, was arrested Saturday on a slew of charges. He is accused of attempting to break into the house at 342 Chesterfield Road Saturday at about 10:15 p.m.

Police allege they found Saulnier trying to pry open a door with a shovel. Cpl Eliezer Rivera said Saulnier refused to drop the shovel when asked to by police.

“He’s lucky he’s alive today,” said homeowner Dale J. Peloquin, 40, who said he fended off the would-be burglar Saturday night before police arrived.

“I just keep thinking what would have happened if he had gotten in the house with that shovel? What would he have done? I would have had no choice but to end it right there.”

Peloquin said he was getting ready for bed when he heard his dogs barking and looked outside to see what the problem was.

He said he noticed someone wandering onto his property and thought maybe the man had been drinking or had been in an accident and needed help. The house is located near Route 9 in a remote part of Keene.

“He started making these zombie-like noises at the top of his lungs,” Peloquin said.

“He was groaning and grunting, but really really loud, so I hollered out to him, and he just kept making these noises. I figured he was under the influence of something. So, I hollered out to him again to get off my property. That’s when he decided he was going to try to come in my house.”

Peloquin alleges Saulnier began bouncing himself off the glass sliding-door at the back of his house.

“I just stood there on the other side of the slider in disbelief, wondering if this was really happening,” he said.

Tammy L. Kenyon, 38, who also owns the house, was on the phone with police as Saulnier continued to hurl himself and other objects at the glass door, Peloquin said.

Saulnier then gave up on the back door and went around to a front sliding door. He again tried to get in, gave up, went to the front porch and picked up a shovel, Peloquin said.

That’s when Peloquin went for his gun, he said.

“He smashed the shovel through the window next to my door and started cleaning out the glass in the frame like he was going to come in,” Peloquin said.

“I cocked my gun and squeezed off a warning shot — blew a chunk right out of the siding in my house. I told him the next one was his. He was going to eat it. It didn’t even phase him. He just kept pounding on the door.”

The intruder started using the shovel to bash in the front door.

Peloquin braced himself against the door as the intruder continued to beat it down. This seemed to go on forever, Peloquin said.

Then the door jam gave way.

“Just then the police showed up,” Peloquin said. “Next thing I know there’s cops all over my front lawn with AR-15 assault rifles pointed at him.

“He’s lucky, because I had just reached decision time as to what would happen if he got in,” Peloquin said.

Even as police arrested Saulnier he seemed to be unaware of what was happening, Peloquin said.

“He was still making those noises; he was a total freak show,” Peloquin said.

He was taken to the Cheshire County jail in Westmoreland, where he has been held for lack of $3,000 cash bail.

Charges against Saulnier include: attempt to commit burglary, trespassing, possession of burglary tools, possession of marijuana, resisting arrest, loitering and criminal mischief.

He was scheduled to be arraigned today in Keene District Court.

This morning, Peloquin said he and Kenyon were still coming to terms with what happened.

“We’re both pretty shook up today,” Peloquin said. “It was quite an ordeal.

“Crime in our area is next to nothing, unacceptable is not a strong enough word for what happened. The more I think about this the more wound up I get. ... It just goes to show you what can happen to you in just a matter of minutes.”

Now take this test:

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=5349989821747660792

I, of course, scored aces on it. But then, I've been preparing for this MY WHOLE LIFE.Back to top

Top 10 Lessons for Surviving a Zombie Attack

1. Organize before they rise!
2. They feel no fear, why should you?
3. Use your head: cut off theirs.
4. Blades don’t need reloading.
5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair.
6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it.
7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.
8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!
9. No place is safe, only safer.
10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on.

From The Zombie Survival Guide.

Official Survivor. I'm going to the Winchester!

[ Edited by: turbogod on 2005-05-25 20:39 ]

70% official survivor.

I was 70% too. Not too shabby for a female. Usually all we do is in a Zombie attack is scream and freeze in place, and hope a macho dude comes along in time to save us. ha ha.
I have to admit though when I saw the post title I was thinking about the drink....
mmmmmmmmmm zommmmbiesssss.....

Naive Fools!

there ARE NO survivors!

-Z

Zombies hate fire. Keep some handy.

Holy Crap! Zombies! My ultimate nightmare! I saw Dawn of the Dead years ago and scared the living daylight out of me. I usually avoid zombie movies like the plague as I
tend to have nightmares for days or weeks.

I've had nightmares about driving down the 405 and a frickin' zombie hand will reach out from the floor boards and grab my feet.
Nightmares about zombies under my bed. Zombies in my backyard. Zombie trying to break their way into my house. Even a nightmare of trying to save my little brother from zombies (the stupid ass ventured outside, after dark and got locked out--and I had to go find and save him). I've had dreams about waking up next to a lesbian zombie.

The moaning, the jacked-up, slow moving, stumbling walk....ZOMBIES FREAK ME OUT!
They walk so slow--yet they always catch you!
Their mouths are always gaping open.

Just great man, now I'm thinking about frickin' zombies.

CheekyGirl --

Have no fear. Simply remember the immortal words of the redneck Sheriff in *Night of the Living Dead:

"Kill the brain, kill the ghoul."*

74%! Cheeky girl apparently you better hang around me...

"There, pretty as a picture. Arggh! Zombies! There, pretty as a picture" - Groundskeeper Willie finishes the garden, watches a zombie climb out, then fixes up the garden.

I figure I'll just try to decapitate them with old LP's I'm not too fond of a'la "Shawn of the Dead" until the zombies are arrested for "criminal mischief".

Zombies with bail money... there's something new to worry about.

81% - I'd kick some serious zombie ass!!! You think Dwayne Jones did a decent job keeping the zombies at bay? You ain't seen me in action! :wink:

On 2005-05-25 18:51, CheekyGirl wrote:
I've had dreams about waking up next to a lesbian zombie.

This is a BAD thing?

On 2005-05-25 18:51, CheekyGirl wrote:
Holy Crap! Zombies! My ultimate nightmare!

Great I'm not alone, i think everyone has their ultimate monster, my wife is reduced to tears by "Frankenstein" after a childhood meeting at Universal studios gone wrong.
With me its Zombies, I'm now banned from watching zombie flicks after i acted out in my sleep twisting a zombies head around and then blowing its brains out with my 9mm, unfortunatly the zombie was my wife (luckily the 9mm was my finger. She was not impressed.

Hilarious! I love it~
70% survivor - my score I assume would be higher if I knew anyone capable enough to go target shooting with... (any takers in the Bay Area, let me know!)

On 2005-05-25 18:51, CheekyGirl wrote:

The moaning, the jacked-up, slow moving, stumbling walk....ZOMBIES FREAK ME OUT!
They walk so slow--yet they always catch you!
Their mouths are always gaping open.

Watch "28 Days Later" - no slow-moving zombies there. :wink: That movie would probably kill you. At least with slow zombies you stand a chance of escape. These are screeching zombies that move like convulsive Olympic sprinters on meth!

I was freaked out about taking another look at this thread. After I posted, yup, couldn't sleep, tossed and turned all night, kept on looking outside for the living dead. I dragged myself to work--looked like a zombie myself.

Of course, this topic is a like a bad car wreck, can't help but look. I tried to resist, but couldn't.

I heard about 28 Days later movie--no way in hell I'm going to watch it. And NOW that I've discovered that the zombie are NOT slow-moving in the movie--forget it man!

And YES, the lesbian zombie thing was a Bad Thing. It wasn't like the zombie was a freshly dead, attractive, lipstick zombie, nah, had me a nice rotting, smelly, zombie with bad breath and f'd up, oozing and dripping.

I do keep a crow bar, extra running shoes, earthquake supplies, first aid kit, packpack, in my car. I just need a machete and I'm set.

44% I wonder what it would be like to have sex with one???

Well,Hiltiki,with that score,you would most likely find out!-chuckle.

I know you are so right. Can't wait. :wink:

I really thought I was gonna do badly, but I got 71%.

Hiltiki,

Gross, do you really want to go there?
Think about it, the zombie would be a little more interested in biting you or something off, than getting it on, if you know what I mean.

If it's the excitement and novelty of a ghoul that will put up a fight, then I guess a zombie is the ticket, otherwise, I suggest a corpse. No fight--no bite.

On 2005-05-25 18:51, CheekyGirl wrote:

The moaning, the jacked-up, slow moving, stumbling walk....ZOMBIES FREAK ME OUT!
They walk so slow--yet they always catch you!
Their mouths are always gaping open.

Yeah, they're dead. They're... all messed up!

63% survivor. Not bad, but I expected better.

CheekyGirl, can't say i have't thought about it. If you know what i mean.......

Well...In case haven't heard. Looks pretty cool.

I thought I saw zombies on the metro recently. Not the dangerous brain-eating ones, just catatonic and soul-less.

A young woman got on the train with a baby in a stroller and a small child around age 3. When the train started suddenly, the kid fell down and rolled all the way down the aisle. Other passengers picked her up and passed her back to her mother, "bucket-brigade" style. This was within view of the mother but she never turned her head to look directly at the action or had any reaction. The kid, who should have been upset by all this, never made a sound or showed any expression on her face. At the next station they all got off the train.

All the passengers commented on how weird the whole thing was.

The bald guy looks hot!

Everytime the movie trailer for that movie comes on "I close my eyes and pull my hands over my ears"! I've been freaking myself out lately, been thinking way too much about zombies. GTTiki has been teasing/scaring me for the last several days too, which doesn't help. He's been walking around the house moaning and groaning. (I hate that!)

His last teasing was that he saw a zombie staring at me while I was sleeping. On a side note here, we've had this unexplained odor in our bedroom. We've cleaned the carpets, etc. It smells like something dead. He says there's a zombie underneath the crawl space. Freaking me out even more. Now the very next day after he said the zombie was staring at me while I slept, he had to stop by the house during lunch, as he walked into our bedroom, it was covered with giant horseflies. No joke it was weird. Something out of the Exorcist. I had to kill these strange giant slow-moving flies. The strange thing is that I would swat them, they would fall down dead, then after several minutes, these "stunned" flies would get up and fly again. I ended up vacuming them up with a special vaccum that works on a water system and then flushed them down the toilet. Zombie flies?

Unexplained rotting flesh odor, flies, now that is weird. I've cleaned and searched the whole room, there is no explanation for the flies or the smell.

I swear I kept on hearing something rustling in the backyard. I couldn't sleep, kept on tossing and turning, looking out the window, slept with a crowbar by my side.

I need some serious therapy.

[ Edited by: CheekyGirl 2007-05-07 10:34 ]

Cheekygirl-any fella that keeps teasing you about zombies and scaring you deserves to get doodleysquat in the boudoir department.Tell him "I'll show you dead!".

Aw, he's a good guy, push comes to shove, if a zombie broke in he'd have my back!

And, I'm happy to report I found the source of the odor. I once again, took the room apart. This time, however, I took the bottom drawer off an end table. This is gross, but there was a dead rat, or what was left of him--just tail and skin. Mystery Solved! (I bet my attack/watch cat, chased the sucker in and trapped him in the drawer). Come to think of it, he was a little obsessed with that room for a while!

86%! Yes!

The wife will love this thread.

Tikitronic is correct, I looooove this thread!

75%- and I once had a friend tell me I looked hot with a pump shotgun, which I think should count for something extra. Y'all will need the hotness to keep your spirits up while we look for an island!

Oh, how I love the zombies. I call the Patricia Tallman character!

Right on Sista!

If zombies attack, I'll have your back. And yes, love the pump action and sound of a shotgun also!

My father used to make us take apart his hunting rifles and hand guns as kids, help him clean them, etc.

Zombies beware this girl's nickname is "Dead-Eye Nellie"

Bummer...the test is no longer available...now I won't know my score and will be more susceptible to zombies...the ones with black blood dripping from their mouths scare me the most.

You can vote (right hand side of the screen) to get "I Walked With A Zombie" moved to DVD. We need all the insight we can get to fight off these evil monsters. Forget the Primaries...vote for Zombies.

Hey Cheeky...are you still be taunted by Zombies in the bedroom?

I'm moving to Lansing, Michigan apparently their police take the threat of Zombie attack seriously and have stockpiled chainsaws just in case.

Forward thinking anti-zobie sheriff

Thanks for that link. I am feeling so unprepared...as I don't have any of the weapons they suggest. (Machete, Crowbar, Compound bow, Assault rifle, Ax, Pistol-grip shotgun.) I only have a handgun and the Zombie Survival Guide....I'm screwed man!!!!

A HANDGUN!!! are you serious, thats OK for zombies at distance, but i can see you fumbling with bullets reloading, where as i would go for running away and carrying a crushing weapon, remeber sledgehammers don't need reloading!

On 2008-01-21 06:04, atomictonytiki wrote:
I'm moving to Lansing, Michigan apparently their police take the threat of Zombie attack seriously and have stockpiled chainsaws just in case.

Forward thinking anti-zobie sheriff

I read this in preparation for the day I'll need this info, but there is one thing I don't get.
Maybe its a Euro Zombie Vs American Zombie thing, but these guys talk about closing off the roads to stop the Zombies getting in, another guy talks about hiding in the woods.
Now I've never personally seen a Zombie yet ( although i'm sure I saw a Rat monkey once when I was in Sumatra on a surf trip, so they must have been around), but I'm sure Zombies can walk through feilds and other types of un-made terrain.
Right?

Come to think of it...by backpack is as heavy as a sledgehammer, so might at least knock em out to give me time to fumble for my car keys.

Blocking them with things like road blocks and slamming doors in their face is simply useless...they are unrelenting and break right through. And tell me...when was the last time all of you wanted to hide in the woods (after seeing The Blair Witch Project)...not me...I am heading out to sea!!!

You will never see a zombie break into a new farmhouse or into a modern kitchen. They hate cleanliness & godliness. Keep you home bug, dust & germ free. And ALWAYS ALWAYS keep a container of Windex with you when answering the door.

On 2008-01-22 14:28, VampiressRN wrote:
And tell me...when was the last time all of you wanted to hide in the woods (after seeing The Blair Witch Project)...not me...I am heading out to sea!!!

You see I don't buy this either, look at 'Zombie flesh eaters', even a shark is no match for a Zombie, and look what happened in the remake of Dawn of the dead, head in a cooler etc. I know these are movies, but anythings possible.

I read somewhere that magically created zombies,you know VOODOO ZOMBIES are effected by salt, a line of salt will halt a zombie and by keeping salt on your person stops the voodoo magician from turning you into his zombie slave.

Perhaps there is a matching condiment that defeats the zombie of the undead variety, perhaps pepper, or lemon juice as its good at removing stains and zombies seam to abhor cleanliness.

I find a blender will usually dispatch 'em pretty quickly.

But if that doesn't work, you can always set the 151 on fire... :wink: