Has today's TC crowd lost it's original warmth?

This is regarding the awesome show we attended last night at the fantastic Don The Beachcomber’s. Tikiyaki Orchestra was awesome! (love their karate PJs!) And Don’s was brilliant with an essence of vintage tiki I haven’t felt since the Royal Hawaiian. The drinks were great, the food was fab, the music was superb.

HOWEVER….

I wasn't sure I should say anything, but maybe I'm not the only one. I'll stick this in bilge, as I'm sure quite a few members will believe it to be so.

I hate to cast a disparaging word, but not everyone was having a good time. I was really kinda surprised (and sad!) to see so many sour faces! Sitting at the tables, waiting for the music to begin. People out at the main bar, waiting for drinks looked especially annoyed. I was seated at the bar and when I tried to talk to them, I was (somewhat) politely ignored.

I had met a few new people that happened to be there (not TCers) and was filling them in on everything. They commented that we didn't seem to be a very happy group. One gal from Colorado asked if we were a bereavement group! Like cancer survivors or something! I thought to myself she was nuts. But as I really looked around, I could see how she came to that conclusion.

I went up to different people that were sitting around, not chatting, and said hi. I received lukewarm hellos, half hearted hi’s and one cold stare! Two people told me their TC screen names were something outlandish and false. Very aloof and remote! My husband sat alone a few times, saving my seat as I visited the restroom or made runs to the bar for us. Usually, on my return, I would find him engaged in conversation with someone. He said not one person said hi or spoke to him as he sat there alone. This is unusual.

OK. I get that maybe I don’t look just like them…I don’t wear the spiffy 50s mod clothes or the BC glasses that make me look like a cool nerd. I also don’t wear the vintage bark cloth gowns, or anything vintage for that matter. I am not a rockabilly, surf punk, 40s wannabe or pretty much tiki wearing anything. But that used to never be a problem. I wasn’t wearing smelly, torn clothing. I did not look like a dirt bag. I was not inebriated to the point that I was obnoxious. I didn’t look any where out of the norm. What’s up with this?

I’ve been hearing a few grumblings from people that events are overcrowded, impersonal, and somewhat snooty. It’s like a lot of people have become standoffish and inaccessible. Superior acting. Even elitist.

I was drawn to this crowd over 4 years ago because of the warm, friendly, all encompassing manner displayed by each and every one of the lovely citizens of TC. They were just happy to meet and greet any one from any walk of life, no matter what they were wearing, what there job was, or their station in life. I thought it was the mai tais and rum, at first. But as I got to know them, I found it to be a genuine affability that ran through this crowd. We always felt like we could step back to a time when people were civil, polite and welcoming to each other. THAT is swanky.

What gives? Don’t get me wrong. It’s not everyone! But it sure is hard to meet new people nowadays! Is it the economy? The National mood? Is there a conspiracy I'm not aware of to curtail the welcoming of too many of the masses?
I can’t figure it out. I'm kinda heart broken.

Go to Bamboo ben's nooner on May 3rd, and GROG bet it will be a much different vibe. Tiki Oaisis is always a blast, also.And don't be shy.

My opinion is that whenever I am out and about I concern myself very little with the rest of the folks and have a great time regardless.

If I am having fun than pretty much everyone else doesn't matter.

It's a shame you felt a negative vibe but next time you are out among the tiki crowd dont worry about anyone but yourself. Than you know you will always have a blast.

After reading another thread, I see what was going on.
I guess with it being such a busy night, the staff was overwhelmed. A lot of folks were saying they were unhappy with the food, drinks, service. So what I was seeing was the result of such.

I still had a great time! I order my drink the way I like it (Pineapple juice, Malibu and silver rum-shaken) and I liked it! I tried the Mister's mai tai and I'll stick with my favorite.

We didn't eat, as we had already dined with family. So I can't comment on the service. Someone said they ran out of food?

What with the awesome tunes from the TO and the ambience of the place, we had a swell time. It was just sad to hear an outsider (2, actually-unrelated instances) make comments about us seeming craptacular in our attitudes.

Oh well. I think things can only get better from here. Don's will improve, as day to day operations are more familiar.

But I still think everyone shoulda been having a great time regardless. I mean, rum, TO tunes, a swell place to gather and all! To me, it's a given that I will have fun! Even when everything isn't poifect!

The way it works is this: There are several Tiki centralites I have gotten to know over the years, and I either came up to them or they came up to me, and we exchanged friendly greetings or otherwise had a good conversation. Woohoo, soccer, Jim, Marty Lush, Bamboo Ben, Lucky Designs, Polypop, Little lost Tiki, Grog..these are people I interacted well with that night, and people I find to be always friendly. There were a few others as well.

But, there are also "kool Kids" who I don't talk to, or who won't talk to me. And really, I don't even care. I am not there for them. I am there for an awesome band, great decor in a cool tiki temple, and a lot of cool people.

I get what you are saying. There was one vendor there who looked at me as though I was a moron, and treated my like garbage, talking to me like I was just some idiot. I guess this guy was too cool for school. Again, I really don't care. I am not a hip dude and never will be, but my wife still loves me! (And in the end, that's all that matters)

I echo what Grog said. Come to the May 3rd nooner. it's gonna be a blast!

Lucas sez...

There was one vendor there who looked at me as though I was a moron

"as though" you were a moron?
but you are a moron,Lucas!
:lol:

see you on the 3rd!
:)

True!!!!

Kevin's the one you REALLY gotta watch out for!

On 2009-04-20 09:12, little lost tiki wrote:
Lucas sez...

There was one vendor there who looked at me as though I was a moron

"as though" you were a moron?
but you are a moron,Lucas!
:lol:

see you on the 3rd!
:)

Ruzic calling Lucas moron. That like POT calling kettle Weed (or something like that). GROG president of Moron club, Kinny Sargeant at Arms.

That's like Ernie calling George the Animal bald and ugly! :lol:

Can we all just agree that weed is good?

Yes! Especially considering the date today!

Kinny calling Ernie ugly like Ernie calling Kinny smart----everybody know statement opposite.

lucas vigor Posted: Today; 08:44 am

The way it works is this: There are several Tiki centralites I have gotten to know over the years, and I either came up to them or they came up to me, and we exchanged friendly greetings or otherwise had a good conversation. Woohoo, soccer, Jim, Marty Lush, Bamboo Ben, Lucky Designs, Polypop, Little lost Tiki, Grog..these are people I interacted well with that night, and people I find to be always friendly. There were a few others as well.

I have to echo what lucas stated above. I have been a member of TikiCentral since 2004, but never really started going to any of the events until this year. Most of the people that I have met were because I went up and introduced myself, but there are definitely others that seem to want to remain in cliques and not want to be bothered by others. But the ones that I have met so far are the coolest and friendliest to be found: Bamboo Ben, Marty, Jim (Mr. Tikiyaki)and Squid, to name a few. I even ran into Soccer at the bar who suggested I try the Zombie. There are others from TikiCentral posts that I will definitely meet when the opportunity presents itself, like Jungle Trader, Okolehao, Iokona, etc . All great guys!

On 2009-04-20 11:33, Dano wrote:

lucas vigor Posted: Today; 08:44 am

The way it works is this: There are several Tiki centralites I have gotten to know over the years, and I either came up to them or they came up to me, and we exchanged friendly greetings or otherwise had a good conversation. Woohoo, soccer, Jim, Marty Lush, Bamboo Ben, Lucky Designs, Polypop, Little lost Tiki, Grog..these are people I interacted well with that night, and people I find to be always friendly. There were a few others as well.

I have to echo what lucas stated above. I have been a member of TikiCentral since 2004, but never really started going to any of the events until this year. Most of the people that I have met were because I went up and introduced myself, but there are definitely others that seem to want to remain in cliques and not want to be bothered by others. But the ones that I have met so far are the coolest and friendliest to be found: Bamboo Ben, Marty, Jim (Mr. Tikiyaki)and Squid, to name a few. I even ran into Soccer at the bar who suggested I try the Zombie. There are others from TikiCentral posts that I will definitely meet when the opportunity presents itself, like Jungle Trader, Okolehao, Iokona, etc . All great guys!

It's the little touches that count, especially when the people throwing the shindig are personally greeting people, going out of thier way to be cool.
For example, as busy as they were, both Jim and Marty were standing by the entrance greeting everyone. I almost tipped Marty, actually!

Bamboo Ben, when he hosts an event, is always cordial and pleasant to everyone.

When my band has played Buster's beachhouse, JonPaul's wife Marie (The bartender) goes out of her way to make you feel at home.

Those are just some examples.

For me, I don't get out much. So when I do, I like to spend time among friends. Most of the people who hang out at these tiki central events are in that "friends" category. Some are not, but you know what? I would not want to be in their clique anyway. I try not to even waste any mental energy on them.

I thought I was a friend of Lucas's
but I guess I didn't make the list.

I guess thats' why my open invitation for him to car pool with me to any tiki events that may be far away(Tonga Hut, etc..) is never taken up.
:(

Jeff(bigtikidude)

I think the problem is you're in California. It's pert near nothin' but jackasses down there. Present company included, of course.

I agree with what others have said or I think they said: To hell with kool kids. Have a good time, smile, and extend a warm hand. (Not so wild about handshaking I personally like it better when someone extends a cold drink.) If you're ignored or slighted shrug and move on. Do you really wanna hang out with people who judge you by the color of your Chuck Taylors?

The kool kid krap is everywhere. I've had people (not Tiki peoples) stop talking to me midsentance and head off to talk to some other kool kid who just entered the room. While it's kind of funny for teens and twentysomethings to act like that, it's pretty pathetic for people in the prime of their middle age.

But I'd prefer that someone who didn't like me just ignored me than pretended to be friendly. (So folks, just keep walking off when I introduce myself, you're doing me a big favor.)

And for the record: If anyone encounters me at a party and I appear cool and distant it's because I am.

You know, really, all the 'regulars' mentioned ARE friendly and warm. I guess it's others.

I try to go out of my way and intro myslef. My problem is I have a rotten memory due to a brain injury (long story short...watch your drinks, cuz GHB gives you retrograde amnesia. No short term memory. I rememebr what I had for dinner in 1977, but not who I met 5 days ago!) So when I ask someone's name for the umpteenth time, I'm sure they feel slighted. I would. I like name tag stickers! (geek moment)

My main grumble was the image being portrayed to newbies. Closed off and unwelcoming to unknowns.

Years ago, someone told me to be careful who I told about TC and the events; we didn't want any crazies coming in. No. I don't really remember who told me that.
I kinda thought we were supposed to promote Tiki. I got that impression from a thread called "What are you doing to promote tiki".

Sadly, everyone here seems to be right. Many of the more experienced Tikiphiles seem to isolate themselves. However. I am always pleased when I see a "regular" introduce him- or herself and bring the newbies into the conversation. And give those lost in an often completely new atmosphere a bit of advice and information. When they do that, they not only open a new experience to strangers, but open for themselves new acquaintences and new ideas.
And if any of the newbies object to your invasion of their loneliness, just remind them them what Don said: ". . .everyone at this bar is a friend . . ."
Mahalo,
Art Snyder
Don the Beachcomber

Hey BTD! I almost forgot seeing you, because you wer up there in the dark hut, doing your DJ thang.......Oh, I was also pretty crocked even before I got there!

On 2009-04-19 08:41, Hau 'oli Tiki wrote:

I was drawn to this crowd over 4 years ago because of the warm, friendly, all encompassing manner displayed by each and every one of the lovely citizens of TC. They were just happy to meet and greet any one from any walk of life, no matter what they were wearing, what there job was, or their station in life. I thought it was the mai tais and rum, at first. But as I got to know them, I found it to be a genuine affability that ran through this crowd. We always felt like we could step back to a time when people were civil, polite and welcoming to each other. THAT is swanky.

On 2009-04-20 17:07, woofmutt wrote:
I think the problem is you're in California. It's pert near nothin' but jackasses down there. --

-- And for the record: If anyone encounters me at a party and I appear cool and distant it's because I am.

HT, there are times I know how you feel, but there are some of the best and beautiful here on TC, and despite a few mud-slingers, and coup-counters, and one-upsmanskippers, and the odd calcified snob, the majority of TC’s membership is very good company to be in. And Sprinkles? -- I know California, God bless her, isn’t what she used to be, alas…; but for those of us natives born here, she’s still home, and next time you’ve got the brass ones to come down to the land of surf and rods and tiki-from-way-back, do be sure to give me a shrunken-heads-up, and drop by the Cosmic Tiki Hut (my home) – we’ll be sure to put something special on the Bar-B-Que when you get here. Sprinkles included… :D Tatoos are free.

Cheerz, Fabloha, and Hee-Haw,
SOK

I feel like a rag doll at events. Too many people, too little time.

If I don't have time to talk to you, please blame it in Grog!

It's all his fault!! :wink:

DITTO!
IT'S GROG'S FAULT!

There are those around here who don't have a sense of humor (though they will laugh if they hear the sound of others laughing to clue them in that a joke was made) and they usually never enter Bilge but just in case they have...

It's a decades old tradition for us Washers to blame all West Coast ills on Califusans. But in reality we too know it's Grog's fault. We just blame Califusa in general so as to not make it personal. It's an indirect hostility we're very good at.

Yes, GROG perpetrator of all things bad, and GROG not sorry for it. That GROG purpose in life.

Now that's what i call
"Original Warmth"!

You're not fooling me, GROG. Taking the extra step of matching the middle finger in the shadow: that's your love for your fellow man showing, right there.

Yes, I have to agree with you Humuhumu. Grog donated his Short bus to the TNA out of his love for the spirit of Tiki.
You people need to cut him a break.
What everyone doesn't get is the collective effect that those defiled Tiki in the bar have on all of you.
I wanted to attend the other night but couldn't bring myself to see Richard Ellis's Tiki painted like Mexican Clown Wrestlers.
Little Lost Tiki had a great idea about artists adopting a Tiki and restoring it.

He's an inventor from way back.

And a salesman. I bought two early models. Both used.

LMAO! Man. Maybe you need a special helmet. To go on the short bus...

Now here's some Warm and Fuzzy Original Warmth....

:lol:

Awwwwww! TOO cute! Can I take him home? Is he house broken?

Nope. Today's TC crowd has not lost their original warmth. Try this out in an elevator at an event....be nice, chatty, have yourself your usual great time (ask them their TC name)... they'll be breakin sweat beads by the 10th floor. Really. Try it. It's fun! It's how I entertain myself when I can't find Ben. :P

Hmmm. Bet it works better than what I usually do. I turn around and look at everyone and ask, "You wanna smell something weird?"

On 2009-04-22 19:34, Hau 'oli Tiki wrote:
Hmmm. Bet it works better than what I usually do. I turn around and look at everyone and ask, "You wanna smell something weird?"

Ya, I tried that once. For some odd reason, it didn't go over very well.

Well, in the spirit of TC warmth, if any of you are ever in Boston, stay the hell away from my house! Oh, unless you are bearing gifts from the Tiki fruitful West Coast, but then it's one wine cooler & out you go! :lol:
Trust me! When I do make it out there to mingle, and I will, I'll slobber all over everyone. I met Ben at Frankie's briefly & he was as kool & unassuming as he seems on TC. And, yes, I equate nice with kool.

P.S.: If anyones headed this way, let me know. I'd love to meet you.

I'm one of the newest of the new kids! And I've been overwhelmed by how friendly and nice people are. I've gotten lots of chat, help, advice, shared a table, had my arse pinched, invited to smoke a joint in the parking lot, oh! um, never mind that last one! Sometimes people are occupied, so I say hiya and mosey along. I hardly knew anyone when I had my birthday party at the Purple Orchid and I was thrilled by how many people showed up and treated me like a friend and a sister. I met Lucas at the Redwood when he walked up to me and said "hey, you're someone!" haha! I sure HOPE so! But then I really wasn't. He was super friendly anyway. Wonderful, fun, friendly people. Sometimes you just have to show up to more events and people will start to see you as a "regular" and you'll be more accepted and chatted up. I don't know who the snobby elite people are, everyone I've met has actually been pretty nice, so either I'm delusional or socially obtuse. Maybe both! Whee!

Grog is sooo cute! Uh huh! Look how adorable he is! Hi Ernie!

On 2009-04-22 19:09, Mrs Bamboo wrote:
Nope. Today's TC crowd has not lost their original warmth. Try this out in an elevator at an event....be nice, chatty, have yourself your usual great time (ask them their TC name)... they'll be breakin sweat beads by the 10th floor. Really. Try it. It's fun! It's how I entertain myself when I can't find Ben. :P

Hehe, that's great! Let's torture people together one day soon!

On 2009-04-23 00:13, Kiki von Tiki wrote:
invited to smoke a joint in the parking lot

That's how LLT drags you in, your first hit is free. Next thing you know you're selling dimebags at the local middle school!

And Mrs. Boo is right..if only Don The Beachcomber had an elevator! :lol:

On 2009-04-23 00:13, Kiki von Tiki wrote:
I'm one of the newest of the new kids! And I've been overwhelmed by how friendly and nice people are. I've gotten lots of chat, help, advice, shared a table, had my arse pinched, Whee!
Grog is sooo cute! Uh huh! Look how adorable he is! Hi Ernie!

Hi Kiki.
Just for the record, it not GROG who pinch her arse. Somebody beat GROG to it.

On 2009-04-23 00:13, Kiki von Tiki wrote:
invited to smoke a joint in the parking lot

On 2009-04-23 09:17, Jason Wickedly wrote:

That's how LLT drags you in, your first hit is free. Next thing you know you're selling dimebags at the local middle school!

i thought Jason looked like a Narc....
Dunno what you are referring to Sir!
that's the medication i take to "appear" friendly!
:)

And I drink my medication, to help me tolerate people! :) Hey, I never named any names, fellas. I stand on the 5th.

[ Edited by: Kiki von Tiki 2009-04-23 10:27 ]

don't stand on that 5th...
Drink it Kiki!
:)

I heart Bilge.

Kiki, I have to know.....was that the actress and model, Devon Aoki (daughter of the owner of Benihanas, and star of the original fast and furious movie) sitting at your table that night?

Hmmmm, you mean at Don's last Saturday? No that woman's name is Keliana. I know she used to be a polynesian dancer, but I don't think she's an actress.