Is there such a thing as a tiki novel?

This is a post that will probably die a quick death, but I was wondering if there is such as thing as a novel about tikis or just with tikis in it.

There seems to be a fair number of movies with tikis hither and yon and even some TV shows, but has anyone read a novel with tikis in it?

And please note -- I'm talking about fiction. Lots of good nonfiction books about tiki, of course.

Thanks for scanning your memory banks!

Glad you asked Mr Satan! I'm at this very moment shopping around for a publisher to, well, publish a sweet little romance novel entitled "Terry the Amish Talking Tiki".

It's a little story about a tiki that was born into an Amish family (via an intergalactic mishap), but decides he can't stand living an austere lifestyle (and he really hates the black hat).

Then after falling in love with a lesbian widow on the internet, he decides to take off to Detroit, and find out why he always has wood for his new genetically female husband/wife.

Well, actually..., I just told you the whole story...

PS I was wondering, is a 'Sin' to Satan really possible? I mean his whole gig is the sin thing, so wouldn't a sin to Satan just be expected?

"I'm ashamed to be here, but not too ashamed to leave..."

Celebrate 'International Tiki Day' the second Saturday in August - hau'oli la tiki!

[ Edited by: Tiki_Bong on 2004-07-29 09:43 ]

I found a book in Tahiti called "Le sourire du Tiki" or "the smile of the Tiki".
It contains stories about tiki's search in the islands...
But, no english translation, sorry.
The editor is : "Au vent des iles" in Tahiti.

If you go to Amazon theres quite a few books with tiki titles, Kids mainly and whether they really have any tiki in them I don't know. Bongs is probably better!

I've not read it, but 'Easter Island' by
Jennifer Vanderbes just came out.
'A brilliant debut ... like the Moai statues on Easter Island, this novel is an impressive, strikingly carved feat' Sunday Times.

The Curse of Lono by Hunter S Thompson is the usual mix of blurred fiction/non-fiction in which he becomes the Tiki god Lono. There are a lot of great Tiki illustrations too. Tough to get hold of, tho'.

Trader Woody

Tiki Bong--

Good luck with your novel, it sounds poignant. Sort of like "Wuthering Heights." A sure bestseller.

My agent ran off with the advance for my last tiki novel, and the publisher won't pay me another advance so we are at a publishing impasse. They've threatened to condense it to one page and publish it on the back of a Special K cereal box, and I've threatened to go the LA Times and tell them how much they really pay authors.

According to Christians, Satan's thing isn't to initiate "sin" just as God's thing isn't to initiate "good." It's up to you to sin or not, and God's just watching. Just as Satan is. And depending on how you live your life, one or the other will welcome you into His particular realm. If I understand Christianity correctly.

But Satan did sin -- once. Depending on how one reads the Bible, Lucifer either lead a rebellion against God or just simply refused to kowtow to God, so his job description was changed from "Archangel" to "Satan" and he was transferred to the Lake of Fire Division in Afterlife, Inc. "Better to rule in Hell than serve in Heaven," Milton wrote, and this is precisely how I lost my last job.

But more importantly, "Satan's Sin" is a cocktail from the late, great Kahiki restaurant in Columbus, OH. Please see pg. 146 in BOT; there's a beautiful drink menu on that page, and "Satan's Sin" is on the lower left.

I've developed a stalker's-like obsession with this drink and have searched the Internet and every bar book I could get my hands on, but the recipe remains elusive. I even wrote the Kahiki (back when it was still in business), but the barman reports the recipe as lost. I even made a "Hail Mary" call to the barmen of the great Tiki-Ti in LA, but they had never heard of it. And in my many travels, when I'm in a new city and sitting in a bar with my big rabbit friend sitting next to me, I always ask the barman if he (or she) had ever heard of this drink. Using the same poignant tone Frank Sinatra uses when singing "One for My Baby." And the answer is always a heartbreaking no.

Still, I will not give up. Hey, maybe this should be my next novel. In fact, I think I'm going to tear up this one I'm working on about an evil robot tiki from the future who comes back in time to destroys the moais on Easter Island...

Mrs. Satan's Sin refuses even the kindest of cocktail suggestions.

[ Edited by: Satan's Sin on 2004-07-29 10:27 ]

On 2004-07-29 09:42, Tiki_Bong wrote:

PS I was wondering, is a 'Sin' to Satan really possible? I mean his whole gig is the sin thing, so wouldn't a sin to Satan just be expected?

Perhaps he is refering to Satan's original fall from grace, not unlike when you're at an office party and you fail to impress your new boss with clever wit and in a nervous moment, after smacking your forehead repeatedly while quietly chanting "stupid, stupid, stupid", you guzzle down far too many mai tai's that the receptionist made with apple juice, grenadine and Bacardi and after 7 or 8 of them they really don't taste all that bad so you have more just as said boss is asking for volunteers to kick-off the karaoke tournament and in an inspired moment you jump up and choose "Hooked on a Feeling" because you think the 'ooga-chucka' part will really get the crowd hopin' but it turns out your boss who was going to consider you for a promotion has bad memories of that song because his prom date left him for the captain of the football team while it was playing and...

I'll have to end it there, MY boss just walked in

-Z

On 2004-07-29 10:20, Trader Woody wrote:
I've not read it, but 'Easter Island' by
Jennifer Vanderbes just came out.

I read it...some interesting island history, but not much to do with the Moai, other than a modern attempt to raise one. More a compare/contrast of the life experiences of two women, one during WWI and one in the seventies, while on Rapa Nui.

lookin' for something to read? try these book-related threads:

http://www.tikicentral.com/viewtopic.php?topic=149&forum=1
http://www.tikicentral.com/viewtopic.php?topic=651&forum=1
http://www.tikicentral.com/viewtopic.php?topic=849&forum=1
http://www.tikicentral.com/viewtopic.php?topic=2752&forum=1
http://www.tikicentral.com/viewtopic.php?topic=5239&forum=1

short answer: michener!

enjoy,
tiki chris

Not strictly ABOUT Tikis, but...

Alan Dean Foster wrote a really bad historical novel called Maori, about the settlement of New Zealand and the conflicts of the pakeha vs. the Maoris.

Also, of course, there is the work of James Michener, who did a few novels that took place in the islands. Michener was a motivating factor in propigating the original Polynesian pop fad fifty years ago.

Going back to the 19th century, Herman Melville's Typee is astounding, still a good read, and definitely mentions Tikis in several places.

Between Melville and Michener, there were a wealth of "South Seas Adventure" novels, a few of which I own but haven't had time to read yet, which are basically fictionalized accounts of people's travel's to various islands and their encounters with the locals.

...and if anyone is interested, I had an idea (and wrote an outline and scripts for) a graphic novel that has some Tiki content, but I shelved it because:

a. I couldn't find an illustrator to collaborate with.

b. Hawaiian Dick came out and I didn't want the market to be flooded with potentially similar projects (I haven't read Dick, specifically so as not to be influenced by it).

...but I may revive the project if there are any artists out there who want to draw my scripts!

Woody --

Thanks very much for "Easter Island" rec. Went immediately to Amazon and read the first few pages. Beautifully written. Finger was hovering on the "order" button. But then --

Purple Jade --

thanks for your concise review. I was anxious to see what such a wonderful writer would make of the mystery of the moais, but since you say essentially nothing is made of them, that the moais just sit there in the background, then I suddenly lost interest.

Since I wasn't able to sell my first book, I've been looking for ideas for the second.
Maybe I should re-visit my idea of writing a Disney "Enchanted Tiki Room" screenplay, as discussed about a year ago. Get it out in time for D-land's 50th. Or at least someone should - the Pirates movie did so well, and the Haunted Mansion one was well enough (as was the Country Bears one which oddly led to the attraction being shut down?)

Especially since this book just came out:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0786854405/qid=1091119411/sr=8-1/ref=pd_ka_1/104-6913192-5151144?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

which made me tingle all over, like stars coming into alignment.

Tiki Chris --

thanks very much for those threads -- all will keep me happily occupied until the boss comes back.

I took care to research this topic before making this post, but obviously wasn't careful enough. I simply did a search on "novel" and came up with a bunch of posts on "a novel way to drink" or "a novel new tiki toy" and stuff like that.

Didn't think to search "literature" or, of course, Michener. Doh!

Love this topic. I too was at a lost for some good fiction involving TIKI. I'm wrapping up a short story right now. Although the title may change I'm currently calling it "Murder at Akaka Falls" and it defiantly involves a Tiki. Got the idea when I wondered what a good modern day episode of the Twilight Zone would be like if it focused on a Tiki theme. I would love for anyone at TC to read it and give me there honest opinion (Good or Bad). I've never been published yet, but have fared well during live reading competitions.
Story should be ready in a week (10-15 pages depending on edit)
I like Tikibars idea about a graphic novel or maybe a collection of short stories. If anyone else is into writing and has any Tiki themed stories we should put them together. Perhaps a collection of mixed media, Poetry, Stories, Art, Ect.

[ Edited by: tikilee on 2004-07-29 11:22 ]

Did Rober Louis Stevenson ever write about Tiki? I know he spent a lot of time in the South Pacific and Hawaii ( his grave on mount Vaea on Upulo, Samoa is quite inspiring) and wrote 1 book called " The South Seas" but I haven't read it.

tikilee --

be happy to look at your story whenever you finish.

On 2004-07-29 11:04, tikilee wrote:
Love this topic. I too was at a lost for some good fiction involving TIKI. I'm wrapping up a short story right now. Although the title may change I'm currently calling it "Murder at Akaka Falls" and it defiantly involves a Tiki. Got the idea when I wondered what a good modern day episode of the Twilight Zone would be like if it focused on a Tiki theme. I would love for anyone at TC to read it and give me there honest opinion (Good or Bad). I've never been published yet, but have fared well during live reading competitions.
Story should be ready in a week (10-15 pages depending on edit)
I like Tikibars idea about a graphic novel or maybe a collection of short stories. If anyone else is into writing and has any Tiki themed stories we should put them together. Perhaps a collection of mixed media, Poetry, Stories, Art, Ect.

[ Edited by: tikilee on 2004-07-29 11:22 ]

A collection of short stories and poems by various TC members is a great idea! I have a feeling that there are a lot of writers here.
Who else is interested in this?

On 2004-07-29 11:51, dangergirl299 wrote:
Who else is interested in this?

sounds like fun. i'm game!

On 2004-07-29 10:56, Satan's Sin wrote:
Tiki Chris --

thanks very much for those threads -- all will keep me happily occupied until the boss comes back.

no problem! it's nice to see old general topics become more specific!

anyway, i recommend paul theroux's Hotel Honolulu, which is a novel & Happy Isles of Oceania (travel logue).

Count me in on this short story thing. Why the hell not? Once we get it together we should then go to Shag to do the illustrations.

I call dibs on evil robot tikis from the future.

So you won't lose your place in your tiki novel. (Bottom of page)
http://www.myriahs.com/publishbooks/Hawaiianabooks.html

I've already got a good tiki short-story floating around in my head somewhere - I'd be up for writing something!

Fantastic, I'd love to read some tiki short stories. Satan's Sin, Thanks for offerning, means alot to me. I'm so excited about finishing this story a smile comes to my lips every time I work on it. I'll keep you posted. Every one who is interested, please, please, please, let me know. I know alot of great Ideas and inspiration have been posted in the past that have caught alot of intrest. Don't let this be one of those post that become lost and forgotten. I have my heart set on reading all of your stories.

A collection of short stories and poems by various TC members is a great idea! I have a feeling that there are a lot of writers here.
Who else is interested in this?

I've always fancied myself a bit of a writer. I would love contribute to this project!

"The new owner of an old tiki bar, discovers the previous owners journal and uncovers a dark secret."

I think Johnny Depp should play the lead.

The next logical step would be to select a "team leader", set a deadline, and then the leader can e-mail participants writing tips and reminders of when the story is "due."

nominations?

also, post whether you have any self-publishing or publishing experience and/or any connections with agents or publishers, if we decide to take it to that level - if we deem our stories worthy. (I sort of have such experience)

On 2004-07-30 09:27, dangergirl299 wrote:
The next logical step would be to select a "team leader", set a deadline, and then the leader can e-mail participants writing tips and reminders of when the story is "due."

nominations?

also, post whether you have any self-publishing or publishing experience and/or any connections with agents or publishers, if we decide to take it to that level - if we deem our stories worthy. (I sort of have such experience)

I love the whole idea of this thing. As a relitively new member, I don't know enough of you to nominate someone specific.

Dangergirl, you seem to have a pretty good grasp of what needs to be done, so I will follow your lead on whatever happens next.

I hope my boss doesn't mind me writing and drinking mai tai's at work!

On 2004-07-30 09:27, dangergirl299 wrote:
nominations?

Sounds like you're pretty gung ho about it! What's your experience?

I'll be glad to help w/ coordination.

actually, can't folks just post their stories, poems, etc. on tiki already? foregoing any costs?

Sigh ... I have some publishing experience. I even have an agent, but if I were to tell him about this he would laugh his you-know-what off. Here's why:

The market for short stories is extremely tiny. Magazines rarely publish short stories, and book publishers rarely publish short story collections. They're not unheard of, but it's not anything at all like it used to be (in 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s). Usually they're by authors who already have a track record with full-on, successful novels. And the magazines who still publish short stories haven't raised their prices in 30 years -- and the only reason an agent would submit a short story for these prices (agents in New York typically take 15%) would be purely as a favor to an author who is making them some real money elsewhere.

This project should be approached entirely for the love of writing the story and having fun. Publication would be like winning the lottery -- with about the same odds.

Of course, publication on the Internet is relatively easy. As some sort of adjunct to TC? With some properly-accredited pictures from Shag?

"Writing tips." There are some authors' groups who share their stories with each other and in a round-robin kind of way critique the stories. This would be easy to handle on the Intenet.

Maybe we should establish a new folder in -- Beyond Tiki, I guess? -- called "Tiki Writing Project" and we can update, cuss and discuss the project that way.

Then, just to drive a stake in the sand, let's say everybody's stories are "due" by Christmas. And the "boss" of this forum would be the forum itself.

Any takers?

Could it not be made on a limited run by those involved and then sold via TC rather than going through the whole publisher thing.
If its really succesful then take it further.
Also as an Idea why not use the artists already here on TC, maybe adifferent artist per story/illustration.

It doesn’t have to be super professional looking to be good. The talent at TC alone should produce some quality work. A simple wire comb binding book from Kinkos would be fine with me. Who knows, if it turns out to be a success we could have our own book made through self publication but that could get costly, but if it was good I say it would be worth it.
Yes Mr. Sin, unless you're T.C. Boyle or the likes of Raymond Carver it’s hard to get a book of short stories published. I do have a few books of Twilight Zone short stories from the late eighties. This project could be very similar.

Tikilee --

That sounds fine!

Now all we have to do is write the stories!

I'm getting started on some character development this evening!

Satan's Sin prepares to join the Muse.

Love that picture. Serling wrote some dandys in his day. Great to hear everybodys ideas are coming along.

"Hey, I've got it gang, we'll rent the old barn down at Keller's place, and put on a big show..."

Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland-esque isn't it?

Sorry to throw water on your little parade, but let me tell you Girls Scouts a little something about group projects - they just f$&king don't work!

Believe me, I've headed enough bands and done enough lame-ass "Communication" college class projects to know that if you don't have a strong leader/manager, ain't nothing gonna get done (hey, did you ever notice that the "communication" majors, were typically ditzy?).

Anyway, your little feel-good project isn't going anywhere anytime soon. Now, move on and go buy that ab-cruncher (unfortunatly, it needs a stong manager too!).

PS Give War a Chance...

"I'm ashamed to be here, but not too ashamed to leave..."

Celebrate 'International Tiki Day' the second Saturday in August - hau'oli la tiki!

[ Edited by: Tiki_Bong on 2004-07-30 22:15 ]

Thanks Bong! If I were stranded on a desert island with a bunch of Tiki Centralites, I'd nominate you to be the official Fire Marshall ... you sure know how to put out the bonfire! :)

Cheers!

Tiki Bong makes his presence known in the Tiki Writers' Group.

huh ... somehow I always pictured Bong with his hair parted on the left ...

Tiki Bong and his friends surprise a Tiki Writers' Workshop:

Alrighty then. Well Tiki Bong, It takes more than a bucket of water to put out a forest fire :D I say this can happen. And Tiki Bong is right, we can't just sit around and talk about it and wait for something to happen. I will be more than happy to make all the arrangements and put this thing together. Like I mentioned before, it wont be anything visually spectacular, (You can’t judge a book by its cover) Just your typical wire binding book with a thick stock back and cover. I'll have it done at Kinkos since it’s just around the corner from me. I'll even put forward the money and everyone can pay later just to get this thing rolling. All I need is stories or other tiki media. In reality, this is not all that hard to do. Collecting the material will be the most difficult. Who ever wants in on this send me a personal message or email me at [email protected] If Anyone wishes to assist me in this task let me know. I'm aiming to have all material together by Thanksgiving so we can have these things made by Christmas. The size of this thing will be about 8 1/2 inches by 5 1/2 inch. Shouldn't cost too much but I'll have an estimate by next week. Lastly, we need a name for this thing. Any suggestions? The Tiki Torch has been lit, get those stories together.
Ps. Tiki Bong, I’ll send you an autographed copy. :P

[ Edited by: tikilee on 2004-07-31 13:35 ]

On 2004-07-30 22:04, Tiki_Bong wrote:
hey, did you ever notice that the "communication" majors, were typically ditzy

Yes.

I'll mark my calendar now for the finished product. And after that date passes, I'll rub your nose in it (bad dog! bad dog!).

Possible titles:

Tales of the Tiki
Tiki Tales
Fast Times at Tiki Central
Revenge of the Tiki: The Prequels
Fear and Loathing in Margaritaville
Your Mother was a Tiki and Your Father Smelt of Cannabis
Gone with the Tiki
Looking for Mr. Tiki
Tiki Quest
Lord of the Tiki
Poke-tiki
Tiki Madness: the Uncollected Writings
All Work and No Play Make Jack a Dull Tiki
Choose Your Own Tiki Adventure
Citizen Tiki
Dr. Strangetiki
It Came From Easter Island
Snow White and the Seven Tikis
Touch of Tiki
Bride of Tiki

And, in honor of my 69th post:

Deep Tiki
Behind the Green Tiki
The Devil in Mrs. Tiki
Tiki Does Dallas
Maxx Hardtiki

How Tiki Was My Valley
Tiki-head Revisited
Tiki and Moai -- a Tale of Star-Crossed Lovers
The Agony and the Tikiny
Sex and the Single Tiki
The Tikining

How Tiki Was My Valley....Sounds like a splice form the song "Lets Talk Dirty In Hawaiian"

Invasion of the Tiki-Snatchers