Old age...dementia...painful death...eternal damnation.

Hey Shipwreck,

I'm with you bruddah, I just know my demise won't be dispatched quickly, but rather over a long and gloriously painful measure of time...

(actually, I'm afriad of dementia also; I fear being gone mentally and doing weird things to myself in public...)

[ Edited by: Tiki_Bong on 2004-08-02 09:12 ]

Man, I forgot about the brain part.

I always had a way of approaching situations regarding this that actually helped reduce my worries.

One day as a youngster, I asked myself about the worst thing that could happen to me. I came up with: "I suffer some grave and horribly painful injury that renders me unable to move or communicate, but my brain is still intact. I would be able to feel the horrible pain as I rot in some nursing home but would not be able to do anything except endure until I waste away and die, only to find out that there is a Vengeful God and He/She thinks it would be amusing to make the situation last for eternity."

The helpful part:

Whenever I think about doing something socially stupid or some normal activity that I should be worried about, I always ask myself, "Self, what's the worst thing that could happen?"

Well, the answer is always, "Painful injury, incapaciated, suffering, Vengeful God..."

See?

Instead of being worked up about how some talk or presentation will turn out, the outcome of those things pales in comparison to "Paralyzed, terrible pain, rotting, Vengeful God..." and I relax. No matter how things turn out, it is always way better than my worst case scenario and I am happy.

An even deeper fear: Knowing te above to be the worst thing possible changed when I had kids. Now THERE is a situation rife with fear - that something could befall the kiddos. But keeping this on a totally self-absorbed level, the "Pain, rotting, Vengeful God" thing still ranks.

One thing you should keep in mind should this fear/coping thing seem to apply to you: Tell all your friends and family that if you are ever totally paralyzed and rotting in terminal care that they have to slip you some acid or ecstacy, put pot in your ventilator, or administer your drug of choice on a regular or daily basis to make the situation a little better. Securing that promise from whoever can be very reassuring.

I am terrified that I will not be able to repair my time machine and return to my home in the distant future.

King Kuke's facial hair....

But seriously, for some reason I hate when drawers are left open. Not really a fear as such, more of a mild OC disorder. I just have to close an open drawer when I see one. Maybe it's some kind of repressed superstition?

The smell of (artificial) green apple. No, seriously. It doesn't bother me as much as it used to, but I still get a general fear-based unease if I smell green apple.

On 2004-08-02 14:28, Tiki-bot wrote:
for some reason I hate when drawers are left open. I just have to close an open drawer when I see one. Maybe it's some kind of repressed superstition?

Here TikiBot. Have fun!

Mentioned it here:
http://www.tikicentral.com/viewtopic.php?topic=4954&forum=6&vpost=45730
And according to this site, maybe it's not unsubstantiated after all!
http://www.uncoveror.com/potty.htm

Cucumbers and watermelon. YUCK!

M O T H E R ! ! !

[ Edited by: TNTiki on 2004-11-06 15:10 ]

Can you think of anybody who'd know MORE about toilets?

John Crapper?

The Tidy Bowl man?

I fear washing my armpits and having the bar of soap get sucked inside my body somehow.
Also, that God is counting how many times I masturbate and i'm going to have to explain this at the pearly gates.

Why worry about the toilet snakes when you can be a-feared of little tiny ants crawling inside the hollow tubes of your chives?

Oh, wait, maybe that's just me.

On 2004-08-03 05:34, tikifish wrote:
Why worry about the toilet snakes when you can be a-feared of little tiny ants crawling inside the hollow tubes of your chives?

"Chives" (?) is that what you kids are calling it these days?

On 2004-08-03 09:45, Tiki_Bong wrote:

"Chives" (?) is that what you kids are calling it these days?

We bartenders like to call it garnish.
Uh oh Bongster, do I sense a new thread here?
"What do you like to call it?"

Biggest fear: Being in a position where I need to commit suicide, and being unable to do so. (Obviously influenced by "1984")

Silliest fear: That the ceiling fan will shake itself loose from its moorings and come crashing down on me while I sleep.

Speaking of not being able to get back to the future, why is it that I keep killing all these bugs, and yet it never seems to affect the future much one way or the other?

Say, does anybody else hear that thunder?

These buggers are invading my house...

'nuff said

Rats! We have two rats living in our alley next to the building and everytime I come home at night I am afraid they are going to run out from behind the massive trash cans and take a big bite out of my ankle. This slightly remind me of the killer rabbit on Montey Python.

Potato bugs!
My first encounter with one was when we moved up to northern cal from so cal - there was one outside the door so my mother and I tried to squish it - kept moving - we coated it in bug spray - kept moving - we chopped it into 3 parts with an axe and it kept moving!!!

the only thing I've seen work on potato bugs is a couple of regular chickens - man, potato bugs and earwigs are like a delicasy to those birds! they go crazy! it's like women fighting over clearance shoes at Nordstrom.

same effect with snails to ducks. if you gather a bucket of snails and toss them at some ducks, they'll jump up in the air to catch them. it's very cute.

On 2004-08-10 09:53, dangergirl299 wrote:
Potato bugs!
My first encounter with one was when we moved up to northern cal from so cal - there was one outside the door so my mother and I tried to squish it - kept moving - we coated it in bug spray - kept moving - we chopped it into 3 parts with an axe and it kept moving!!!

DangerG,

Your story sounds a bit like an experience I had when I first moved out of the house so many moons ago.

It was an apartment in a rather sleazy neighborhood, in a rather cheesy town - Stanton, CA.

Anyway, whenever I'd get up at night in dire need of water (after binge'in), I'd see this monster size cockroach scurrying along the countertop, just an inch or two ahead of my swatting newspaper (or eviction notice (?)).

This little game of cat and mouse went on for a number of weeks - until one night.

I was waiting for the little bastard (cockroaches typically have little interaction with their fathers)to show up and start munching on my sliced white bread one night.

I had a tightly-rolled up front-page section, just waiting to dispatch the little son of a bitch into the cracks in the formica.

I was ready..., I flipped on the light, and low and behold he was there gorging on a bit of Slim Jim.

My weapon of mass-cockroach-distruction (MCD) came crashing down onto his person.

And it was after that mighty crash that I opened my eyes to witness his demise...as he scurried off leaving a single antenna in his wake.

This was one tough little dude I tell you.

He wasn't even fazed. As a matter of fact, the next night I saw him running here and there with a coathanger stuck into the place an antenna once occupied....

Tiki Bong & DangerGirl I too have experienced many bug issues. When living in Queens we had smart roaches, personally I think the exterminator gave them brain enhancing drugs instead of killing them. The sink/counter was not attached to the wall and everyonce in a while the roach would stick his head up just enough for me to see him, but the little thing was onto me. As he saw the bottom of my shoe approaching (and my hopes the end of his life) he'd scurry back down to his home (under the sink - a place I never ventured).

Needless to say if my dog had been living in queens with me, she'd of taken care of all roach problems. She ate bees for fun!

I'm afraid someone will toss a bucket of snails at me, and think it's cute when I jump!

Oh jeez, I forgot about potato bugs. I black them out of my mind the way someone blacks out a bad car accident. Those things gross me out more than just about anything. I was sitting here eating pretzels with peanut butter in the middle when I saw that big pic of one and just about hurled. Luckily, I have seen only one of these in a year and a half at our house.
Snakes: Coooool.
Scorpians: Neat-o.
Big hairy spiders: Ewwww.
Potato bugs: AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Losing my hair.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

Potato bugs? One night as I lay in bed just about to enter dreamland, guess what I felt crawling up my leg? Have you ever heard a man scream like a woman? Have you ever seen a naked man jumping up and down on his bed? My room mate had to pull me out of the ceiling....carefully.

Wao Nahele Kalepa Kumula'au Hale

[ Edited by: Jungle Trader on 2004-08-12 18:15 ]

On 2004-08-10 21:23, ZebraTiki wrote:
I'm afraid someone will toss a bucket of snails at me, and think it's cute when I jump!

Pretty funny Zebra tiki. You got me laughin'

I'm actually afraid of snails... sure, they want us to think that they're slow.

Moths.

powdery FUZZY FLYING THIIIINGS SHUDDER

butterflies of the night my ass, butterflies fly AWAY from you not directly AT YOU.. bleech

I forgot to add large insects like spiders, and cockroaches etc. that SCUTTLE. bugs should not be too fast to kill when you're half asleep.. The last place we lived, we had giant brown recluse spiders that would appear when I was almost asleep watching tv.. I'd see them scuttle across the living room floor, and I could NOT go to sleep until I knew it was dead. Once it went under the coffee table after it evaded the newspaper hit, and I had to stand there for about 30 minutes until it crawled out and I could stomp on it with the shoe of death.
I do not feel this fear of spiders is unsubstantiated however as I did some research on the internet after I saw the first one, and found out they not only BITE, but their bites FESTER and can leave you permanently scarred. twitch
Ok I'm done now.

killing threads with every post..

[ Edited by: Velvet Ruby on 2004-08-13 01:49 ]

I have a foot phobia. How anyone could worship the foot is incomprehensible to me. I cringe and run away if somebody tries to show me their cute lil' toe rings or their perfectly pedicured toenails. Yuck!

And I'll stop myself, before I get on my soapbox about people dangling their nasty knobby knockin' yellow crackled fungus feet out of car windows...@;-)

That someday my wife gets super pissed at me and posts on tiki central what my secret fetish is!!!!!

On 2004-08-12 22:28, ZebraTiki wrote:
I'm actually afraid of snails... sure, they want us to think that they're slow.

You want to see something scary? Every morning when I drink coffee in my patio garden, I have to inspect my Buddha statue - inevitably there are a pair of snails having sex on him - it's very disturbing to watch, and even more disturbing that I have to remove them from Buddha and then crush them beneath my flip flops (still intertwined!) I feel all dirty and bad-karma-y afterwards.

On 2004-08-13 10:32, dangergirl299 wrote:
inevitably there are a pair of snails having sex on him - it's very disturbing to watch, and even more disturbing that I have to remove them from Buddha and then crush them beneath my flip flops (still intertwined!) I feel all dirty and bad-karma-y afterwards.

Well at least they're goin out, doin the nasty.

On 2004-08-13 10:35, Unga Bunga wrote:
Well at least they're goin out, doin the nasty.

There's nothing quite like starting the day with a little mollusk gastropod sex and death.