Worst Experience Being in a Band?

Since there are plenty of musicians amung us, please share! I love to dwell on the negative memories, they're the one's that make me laugh the most!

Practices took place in my basement (now designated Tiki Bar room) and were less than fruitful on most occasions. The drummer would waste all of my wife's diet pop by drinking only half a can and then snuffing his cigarettes in it. He often went through 6 cans this way! The singer did the same thing, only with beer (and not just his own beer).

The bass player once showed up riding a BMX, already drunk, and yelling about my neighbors. In the middle of practice he intensionally slammed his bottle of Jim Beam against the floor and proceeded to destroy one of my favorite lamps. After that he just kind of laid down.

From the whole experience I've concluded that friends/bandmates are like pets that smoke!

-FB

I remember my first band in 9th grade..our drummer was a big guy, a wrestler..wbo always wanted to pin me, either during or after practice..he was always trying various holds and locks on me...

Now that i am older and perhaps a bit more world travelled, I realized something about him!

He was a decent guy though, and a damn good drummer...

But I am glad I don't jam with him anymore!

The first one that comes to mind happened about three years ago. My band was hired to play a wedding by a woman that came out to see us quite a few times. She always had a great time at our shows and she was sure that her soon-to-be husband would love us as well.

When we showed up at the wedding, there were about four guys wearing cowboy hats and one of them was the groom. Panic set in because we only know about three contry songs. Immediately, we grabbed the wedding planner and asked to talk to the bride. We were ushered into the room where she was and we expressed our concern. She looked at us with this blank stare and said, "but, I thought you guys did a bunch of country songs?".

We were blown away that she would think that after seeing us play about a half-dozen times. She ensured us that there was nothing to worry about and just play the few country songs that we knew when everyone was dancing.

As it turned out, the groom wasn't all too thrilled that his wife had hired us. He was under the impression that we were a country band?!

Since that day, we make sure that whomever hires us signs-off a song list first.

not sure if this technically qualifies as a "band experience", but aw crap, i'll tell it anyway. i was just about to go up on stage for a fiddle competition in a little po-dunk town in missouri. i was doing a quick warm-up backstage with this redneck guitarist (while he chewed, mind you) and while i was in the middle of my piece a LARGE cockroach crawled out of my violin and started running laps around the middle of my violin. it scared the living crap out of me and took everything within me not to chuck my violin across the room. the guitarist (kenny the redneck) kept strumming and simply flicked it off with his other hand.

and then i was to perform. didnt take my eyes off of the goddamn violin the entire time, half expecting the rest of the family to join in on the hoedown.

man that sucked.

I keep starting to type, and I freeze.

The horror is still too....real.

And numerous. So many bands, so many bad experiences. I mean, where does one START?

** The drummer who was so drunk in Tuscaloosa that he peed against the wall in our host's guest bedroom (thinking he'd found the loo)?
** Bass player so drunk that she fell off the stage in Knoxville - WITH her giant stand-up bass?
** Our two guitarists beating the sht outta each other in New Orleans, and the black one getting chased by the police for it, NOT the white one.
** The Jackson, Mississippi show at WC Don's(shudder). (Their name stood for "We Can't Decide On a Name". how clever.)
** The creepy, creepy owner at Dog Alley in Charleston, awakening for the day at sound check (7:00 PM?), descending the stairs, shirtless, preceeded by two huge black labs, and covered with dozens of fresh cuts on his back. hmmmmmmm. Got outta there fast after the show.
** Not getting paid by some scary thug who threatened to beat us up in addition. Somewhere in Louisiana...
** Giant fight I got in with our drunk rhythm guitarist outside The Nick in Birmingham, ending in "Fck YOU!!" "NO, f*ck YOU!!" I don't usually fight that way. I was, um, agitated (by his theft and unwillingness to fork over the cash).
** Watching two marriages - with kids - implode due to an internal affair.

I think Jackson, Mississippi wins. Maybe I'll bring myself to write about it one day. (It involves the hideous owner's beautiful girlfriend, lost keys to the RV on our way to Mardi Gras, pot and fried pickles...and Better Than Ezra.)

I think I've repressed lots of other memories.

Lotta good stuff happened too in the years 1982-now, though. I won't lie :)

MachTiki
thats funny kinda reminds me of the scene in The Blues Brothers when they played at Bobs Country Bunker (featuring both kinds of music...country and western).
did they throw any bottles at you guys?

I'm still hoping my 'worst band experience' is yet to come!

When I was the singer of a band many years ago, my guitar player decided to tell the crowd that he "got our singer laid in San Diego!" Needless to say, my girlfriend (who is now my wife) was in the crowd and took exception to his words! The worst part is, that idiot guitarist had nothing to do with my exploits! Oh well!

On 2004-11-08 17:12, Tiki Rider wrote:
MachTiki
thats funny kinda reminds me of the scene in The Blues Brothers when they played at Bobs Country Bunker (featuring both kinds of music...country and western).
did they throw any bottles at you guys?

It felt just like that moment. No bottles were thrown at us - just unapproving stares. Now that I think about it, we should have gone right into "Rawhide".

Boy, there have been alot.

1. I'd just joined a band that had been together for about 8 years. They usually played clubs but one time we played a 16th Birthday party. It was decent $ and it was going to be over early (trying to justify). While moving our equipment in, I got a dread stuck in the spring of the screen door. Well, when we got our equipment in the speakers were about 1/2 inch from the ceiling and the hotel owner was freaking out. When we were scheduled to play everyone was eating. After our first setbreak the parents gave the girl a new car. We started playing and everyone went outside to get a ride in her new car. By this time we pretty much had given up, but the Father was drunk and demanded we play even if no one was there. Bored we went from our regular setlist of New Order and the Cure to Agent Orange and Black FLag. We played till the end and were told we'd never be allowed back there again. Everytime I drive into Ocean City and pass the Franklin Scott Key Motel, I smile a little and mention it to my wife, who's tired of hearing it.

2. Every Sunday we would drive 3 hours to play in Baltimore @ a club that never paid but allways promised that big opening slot which never happened. One night the Guitarist was so drunk @ soundcheck he thought we were already playing. So he fully launched into Agent Orange's version of SOmebody to Love,,,solo. Throughout the night many people came up to the stage, flipped the bird and told us we sucked.

3. My favorite worst expirience was when our lighting guy had leftover fog juice from a Christian Rock band he had worked for the night before. We had never used it before. God, I felt like the Sisters of Mercy (or Spinal Tap) as it kept getting foggier and foggier it looked so cool. The drummer and I were laughing as we all disappeared into shadows on the stage. That was until I came up front to sing a song and fell off the front of the stage since I couldn't see a foot in front of me.
   However, these were also some of the best times I ever had.

We opened for GREEN JELLY.

and if that's not bad enough...we didn't even get paid

During the formative portion of my one and only bands exitctence, we practiced at the same practice space as The Slackers. It was an old barber shop on 14th st in NYC.

Well, we're banging away when an extremely loud knockin starts on the security grate outside. The kind that comes from a police issue mag lite flashlight.

So we let the very unhappy looking members of NYPD's finest in. After a some rifling though our stuff ( thankfully all illegal substances had been consumed by that point )one cop turns and says; "just try and keep this.....'music' a little quieter". The way he said 'music' was so outside the meaning of the word that we were all crushed. For about two minutes. Then we realised we had the imprimatur of "THE MAN"!!!

We turned it up louder and never looked back.

Serious bad moments, every time I went for that one screaming/haunting note in one song and all I got was "puhlink!" because I had fretted it just wrong.

Good times...

I don't play, but I see this happen.

Competitive piping (Pipe and Drum)...very serious to those who reach a certain level. There are prizes and money to be had to truly talented people.

The uniforms are made of wool, leather, and have feathers. The fabiricis of brightly colored tartans all attract no shortage of stinging insects.

Watching musicians who are in the middle of judged competitions using both hands and blowing hard...trying to ignore a wasp or carpenter bee landing on thier nose is amazing.

I havent the fortitude to not swat at them...thirsty work just watching.

Think I'll grab a malt.

In my experience, drummers have contributed greatly to the demise of every band endeavor. No offense to drummers, it's just been my luck. I've developed some rules on the matter:

1. It's hard to find a good drummer. If your lucky enough to find a great drummer, he will inevitably get hooked on crack and may also be horribly racist.

2. If you find a decent drummer, he doesn't want to get involved in a band just yet.

3. It's easy to find beginner drummers. Sometimes they even have their own kit. The cool thing is, they learn as they go and thus become acclamated to the rest of the band. They may eventually become good, but if they become great see rule #1.

On the other hand, I'm aware of great drummers in local bands all over the state that are exceptions to these rules. Also, as a bassist I've done my part as well!

-FB

On 2004-11-09 10:43, FreakBear wrote:
In my experience, drummers have contributed greatly to the demise of every band endeavor.

....especially when they die from choking on someone else's vomit.

Another horrible band moment I had was back in High School. My band was supposed to play for the Junior Prom, but at the last minute they decided to go with a DJ. Since we had the night off, my bandmates and I proceeded to get drunk on Rum & Cokes. After a couple hours of getting totally "faced", we get a phone call that the DJ didn't show up and now they wanted us to play after all?!

There we were drunk to the gills and without our equipment. The bassist went to get the van and pick up the PA system while the drummer loaded my drunk arse into his car to help him get his kit (and to try sobering me up). We drove around in the rain with me sticking my head out the window shouting Sammy Hagar & Police songs at the top of my lungs.

By the time we got to the prom, everyone was done with their pictures and waiting for us to start. After a quick set-up we were on our way. The first set was a blur, but we actually ended up pulling it together by the second.

Come to think of it... This may have been my BEST experience being in a band!!!!

P.S. This is not advocating under-age drinking or drinking & driving... We just got away with it alot easier back in the 80's :D

My worst experience came from my stint playing with Death Mariachi band, "Los Pitocin and The Inducers". To set up the story a bit, what put us in a league above your average Death-Speed-Thrash Mariachi bands was our use of real pig blood during the Virgin Sacrifice re-enactments. We obtained this from a local slaughterhouse but it was only good for a day or two before it started stinking to high heaven. The blood was in sealed drums, so that you didn't always know how fresh it was until you dumped it on the altar.

On this night, as was frustatingly usual, we were unable to find a virgin in the audience to volunteer for the sacrifice, so we chose a rather-attractive mother of three from Escondido.

As we pounded through the climax of "Cielito Lindo", and our stagehand led the "virgin" to the altar, our lead guitarist, Cuervo The Clown, accidentally caught the neck of his electric vihuela in the electric cord controlling the giant spinning Day-of-the-Dead skull. The resulting short caused all the lights in the room to go out, which spooked one of the llamas into knocking over the drum of pig blood, (which turned out to be at least a week old), into the front row of the audience. If that wasn't enough, our roadie accidentally pulled the rope which dropped the net containing the 300 small vampire bats which shouldn't have been released until "Guadalajara". They immediately headed for the blood-soaked shoes and ankles of the fleeing audience.

Needless to say, we were never invited back to The Lawrence Welk Ballroom again.

On 2004-11-09 12:10, Sabu The Coconut Boy wrote:
"Los Pitocin and The Inducers"

Best band name ever!

On 2004-11-09 11:04, cynfulcynner wrote:

On 2004-11-09 10:43, FreakBear wrote:
In my experience, drummers have contributed greatly to the demise of every band endeavor.

....especially when they die from choking on someone else's vomit.

My favorite drummers are the ones that just explode :)

Sabu,
I filled in as a marimba player in a band of that genre. I believe they were called Los Dulces del Cabrio What are the names of some other good Death Mariachi bands?
-FB

[ Edited by: FreakBear on 2004-11-09 13:19 ]

Back in 1977, I was working in a cemetary over the summer. My boss learned that I played the drums, and was familiar with polka music, so she asked me if I would be willing to drum for her son (who was about 45 years old) who played the concertina.

We practiced once - he was a very mediocre player, and quite a jerk. He announced that he had arranged for us two to play the following Sunday afternoon at an isolated bar outside some small town about 30 miles away. So we go there -- and he insists that I wear one of those red vest things that polka band members always wear.

There were about 6 customers in the bar. We played, they kept on talking - it was all very boring. At one point one of the customers walked over to one side of the bar, plugged the jukebox in, and made his selections. We waited for the song or two to finish, and then started playing some more ... and then the customer put more money in the jukebox. I vaguely remember playing polka music while the jukebox was was playing. I didn't care, as long as I got paid.

Fortunately, the sealed drums contained very fresh pig's blood, so the virgin sacrifice portion of our act still turned out very well.

Vern

[ Edited by: ikitnrev on 2004-11-09 18:02 ]

Once I auditioned for an orchestra and had won first chair flute, then from out of nowhere comes some gal from USC who had an "in" and they booted me right out of first chair... down to playing piccolo for one lousy song (I despise the piccolo to this very day.)

During the performance, I couldn't take it any more. After all, they were just going to laugh at me... so; drenched in pig’s blood (though by no means a virgin) I used my psychic abilities to pummel everyone in the theatre.

Ah.... those were the days....