Bands or artists that SUCK!!! (and why)

Not to be negative on such a positive website, but sometimes it's funner to talk about the things you DON'T like, rather than the things you like. So then, why do these bands (or artists) SUCK so much?

Bruce Springsteen(does every song have to begin with a vein popping- 1! 2! 3! 4! and then go into a mid-tempo acoustic number?)
Bob Dylan(I wanna slap that harmonica off his neck!)
Tom Petty (with or without the Heartbreakers, and I wanna slap that harmonica off his neck!And when did he become Bob Dylan's younger, uglier brother?
REM(1 good song:Losing My Religion)
the Eagles(Hotel California doesn't suck)
38 Special(and ALL "southern fried" music)
Johnny Cash( yeah, yeah, he LOOKS cool,wears black,deep voice...still sucks)
the Allman Brothers(southern suck)
the Doobie Brothers(Skunk Baxter is a great guitarist though)
George Thorogood(with or without the Destroyers, I call it JOCK ROCK)
Dave Mathews(B-O-R-I-N-G-!)
the Beastie Boys( and ALL "white boy rap")
every "rapper" known to mankind
Neil Young(1-string wonder with a crappy voice)
Los Lonely Boys(WTF!)
Los Lobos(Los Lamos)
Jackson Browne(Doctor my EARS!)
Lynard Skynard(but Freebird is a great song)
Nine Inch Nails(Trent Reznor is NOT a genius)
Green Day,Blink 182, and all the "safe" little "punk" bands(teenage girls will disagree)
Napalm Death(because you yell and hit things, does not make you "metal", it makes you suck)
Rolling Stones(except "British invasion" era)
Crosby, Stills, and Nash(and ALL folk music)
Melissa Ethridge(whadya call 1000 lesbians with machine guns...Militia Etheridge)
Sting(now that he's "grown up" i.e."adult contemporary")
Peter Gabriel(now that he's "grown up")
Phil Collins(now that he's "grown up"
Kenny G(the clarinet BLOWS! too bad it doesn't blow-up)
Jimmy Buffet(when the parking lot is more exciting than the concert...you SUCK!)
Elton John(early stuff was cool though)
Social Distortion(JOCK ROCK-makes jocks feel "punk")
Yoko Ono(with or without Lennon, why couldn't SHE have cought the bullet?)

I could go on and on and on but I wont.
And don't get me wrong, all these people are millionaires and I'm not, but they still SUCK!
So who do you think sucks, and why?

...and I thought I was cynical.

I agree with you on some of that stuff tortured, 'specially Dave Matthews. However, you're not gonna make any friends making comments like 'I wanna slap the harmonica off Bob Dylan's neck'. C'mon.That's just stupid! Same with your comments on Neil Young, Tom Petty, and the Beastie Boys. Why counldn't Yoko Ono catch the bullet? Yeah,that's nice.

I mean who DO you like? I'd be interested in hearing that.

[ Edited by: donhonyc on 2004-12-12 10:54 ]

Well, I certainly don't expect people to agree with me (why do ya think they are millionaires anyway? Someone's buyin' that crap). But this is MY list,and I'm looking forward to seeing yours. Also, I don't mean to offend people, I guess bluntness has its drawbacks. The bands (or artists) that I DO like are many, and that's another thread.

[ Edited by: The Sperm Whale on 2004-12-12 11:04 ]

Hey watch what you say about Johnny Cash!!!
I like Johnny Cash!!!

But ,whatever, you are entittled to your opinion. I just happen to think that your opinion on Johnny Cash - SUCKS

No hard feelings though!
Later,
Spermy

Yeah, the Johnny Cash one is HIGHLY controversial, but c'mon...he doesn't SING, he TALKS. Yes, he's got a nice deep voice, wears black, looks cool. It ends there. He CAN'T write a song to save his life! I call it the "Emporor's New Clothes" syndrome: It's cool to think he's cool cuz your cool friends think he's cool, that's so uncool. Oh yeah, here's some others that SUCK!

Tom Waits(storyteller-shmoryteller, he sucks)
Nick Cave(with or without the Birthday Party)

(Hanford...we got a live one here!!)

Sure tortured...you are certainly entitled to your opinion. My opinion is that your idea to actually post this list is the sub-mental doings of someone who needs to get a life. And what's this obsession about them being millionaires anyway?

I guess bluntness does have it's drawbacks, like me telling you shove your bluntness up your bluntness.

Uh Oh, I've created a monster! (Good, heh, heh, gets the blood flowin'). Let me reiterate, THIS IS MY LIST AND NOT MEANT TO OFFEND ANYONES FAVORITE ARTIST OR BAND. I'm sorry to hurt your feelings. If and when you compile you OWN list, and if you have "bad Mouthed" some of MY faves, I'll try to take it like a big boy, I can handle it. Anyhoo, this list is all in GOOD FUN and with tongue firmly placed in cheek...Please don't tell dad on me for posting such a bad, bad topic.

PS The "OBSESSION" with them being millionaires is not an "OBSESSION" at all. I used it to illistrate that although I think these particular bands (or artists) suck, there are many, many more people out there that enjoy the music that they create, thereby buying their records, thereby making them money, thereby giving them a "comfortable living"...get it?

[ Edited by: Tikitortured on 2004-12-12 11:42 ]

If I agreed with you, but my taste sucked (and it does) what would that indicate?

The Eagles Hotel California (one you liked) is played so often I dont hear it, however it has struck me as sounding like diluted Jamacan music..like Bob Marley (I forget what it's called...remember my taste sucks)

I'm not excited about Thomas Kinkade art either (The painter of trite)

Most Impressionist art I'm sick of too, but because it's on calanders, wine labels and so on.

I like Henri Roussou...(same period of time)I love that he went to openings of sucessful artist's works and offerd to finish thier paintings for them.

I've been listening to alot of Willie Dixon of late. He probly sucks too, but he's quite a Bluesman.

While I disagree with you on many of the artists you think suck (Dylan and Cash especially), tikitortured, I'm surprised you missed Lou Reed - he simply can't sing. I love the Velvet Underground because the sheer power of the music overcomes the fact that he can't sing, but his solo stuff SUCKS.

Since when is "Hotel California" a good song, and the rest of the Eagles songs suck? It all sucks!

This topic sucks.

This topic sucks.

There is no gravity!
The earth sucks!

OOps! I DID forget Lou Reed- he not only sucks, he blows! No suck list would be complete without him. And I never said Hotel California was a good song, I said it "doesn't suck".

Thanks for stopping by.

[ Edited by: Tikitortured on 2004-12-12 12:19 ]

Tikitortured, I disagree most heartily on Johnny Cash -- BUT good call on Bob Dylan!

I have always thought Dylan was the worst phony. Just some middle-class white-bread kid play-acting at being Pete Seeger, and now doing it so long I'm sure he actually thinks he grew up riding the rails and singing in hobo camps. Anyone who proclaims himself as authentic and earthy but oh by the way has to change his name from the disagreeable-sounding "Zimmerman" to the much more coffee-house-approved "Dylan" is perhaps somewhat less earthy and authentic than he thinks. Balladeer of the open road, my ass.

fire extinguisher?

you forget the Beatles and Elvis....

[ Edited by: mrs. pineapple on 2004-12-12 14:26 ]

Anyone who says Johnny Cash is talentless has never listened to his 'Bitter Tears' album. Great on so many levels. People should aspire to have that much class.

Things that did not make Tiki Tortured's list are:
Juice Newton
Winger
Good Charlote
Simple Plan
Warrent
John Denver
Backstreet Boys
Poison
New Kid's on the Block
PM Dawn
Gloria Estephan
ETC. Etc.

I am gonna have to go ahead and belive that is what he is really into.

Later,
Spermy

tikitortured,
I love Dylan and I still laughed at the "harmonica" line, as well as the Tom Petty follow-up!

I think you forgot Bob Seager on your list. He deserves the death-penalty for what he has put my ears and soul through! His exhistance is an insult to my intelligence and everything decent and pure!

-FB

[ Edited by: FreakBear on 2004-12-12 14:10 ]

You're absolutely right, Why can't Bob Seager catch a silver bullet? He's "Suck Squared". I made the list off the top of my head, but there are many, many more that suck. And as for the list that Mr. (or Ms.) Spermy compiled, It would have been stating the obvious that they in fact, SUCK! My list is mostly of performers that "the masses" don't realize so badly suck because people make such a big deal about them, and give them legendary status. And as for the Beatles and Elvis...C'mon Mrs. Pineapple, They truly ARE and deserve to be LEGENDARY! And I HAVE tried to enjoy Johnny Cash's "music" (including Bitter Tears), and the more I hear, the more I know that he...uhh...SUCKS!!

PS "Live from Folsum Prison" is the pinnacle of SUCK on so many levels, those prisoners DESERVED to be "entertained" by him.

Oh yeah, Pearl Jam really suck too! (1 great song though: Jeremy Sumthinorother)

Seeing as I've never been banned from TC, I figured I'd see what it felt like.

Tiki-retarded is a flame-baiting dickhead. Next time keep your drunken spew where it belongs: in the toilet - certainly not on this board. There's likely to be a music site somewhere on the internet where slow-minded children can argue the merits/demerits of their most cherished/hated bands. Sell it somewhere else.

Please lock or delete this thread.

My My, the kids are really getting their panties in a bunch over this one. Excuse me while I pat myself on the back...........OK now, Mr. Tiki-Bot, please take this advice: Sit back, Relax, and suck down a Mai-Tai or ten, and don't take things so serious. This isn't the United Nations chatroom, solving the world's problems. It's a TIKI website where I posted some bands(or artists) that I believe to be "sub-good", in my OWN humble opinion, on the "beyond TIKI" forum...that's it. So censorship and namecalling isn't necessary(wait a minute, maybe this IS the United Nations chatroom). I'll forgive you this time for the D.H. comment, but please take a minute and THINK before you post such nastiness. Thanks for your intrest in this topic, come again.

Eric Clapton sucks big time too(maybe he USED TO be good but he sucks now)

PS Hey Tiki-Bot, I'm curious, which band(or artist) that I mentioned REALLY made you blow a gasket?

[ Edited by: Tikitortured on 2004-12-12 16:46 ]

Life's too short, everyone.

That's the end of that.