Calling all Monty Python fans...

I invite everyone to share their monty python quotes!

Why? Why not? What else could brighten up the day like laughing out loud at monty python quotes as everyone else in your office wonders what you were smoking in your lunch break?

Which monty python fans hasn't got together with other fans and randomnly quoted bits from here and there (Often whilst the 'other half' rolls their eyes in despair).

So in the spirit of sillyness and nonsense, here we go!

I have a fwend in Wome called Biggus Dickus!

I fart in your general direction... you wiper of other people's bottoms... your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries... now leave before I taunt you a second time...

i taunt you a third time!

http://www.tikicentral.com/viewtopic.php?topic=2922&forum=1

http://www.tikicentral.com/viewtopic.php?topic=4916&forum=6

http://www.tikicentral.com/viewtopic.php?topic=11717&forum=13&vpost=123857

signed,

his lordship leftenant ian bruce dollar, (mrs.), deceased

"Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can 'ni' at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land. Nothing is sacred.
Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress at this period in history."

You know, there are many people in the country today who, through no fault of their own, are sane. Some of them were born sane. Some of them became sane later in their lives. It is up to people like you and me who are out of our tiny little minds to try and help these people overcome their sanity. You can start in small ways with ping-pong ball eyes and a funny voice and then you can paint half of your body red and the other half green and then you can jump up and down in a bowl of treacle going "squawk, squawk, squawk..." And then you can go "Neurhhh! Neurhhh!" and then you can roll around on the floor going "pting pting pting"...

And now an interview with Anne Elke...An Elk? Ahhhhh

*"What do you mean, and English sparrow, or an African sparrow?"

"One must know these things, being King and all."*

STRANGE WOMAN:
It is a most elusive fish!
STRANGE MAN:
And it went wherever I did go.
STRANGE WOMAN:
Ooooh, fishy, fishy, fishy fish!
STRANGE MAN:
A-fish, a-fish, a-fish, a-fishy, ooooh.
STRANGE WOMAN:
Ooooh, fishy, fishy, fishy fish!
STRANGE MAN:
That went wherever I did go.

OOH I forgot...

Sir Bediviere to king Arthur...
"And that my liege is how we know the earth to be banana shaped."

[ Edited by: tikigardener on 2005-02-23 09:04 ]

"she's got huge...tracts of land"

"Lemon curry?"

Trader Woody

"They stamp them when they're small."

Cuidado Llamas

"Good morning, I'd like to have an argument, please."

wik

South Park Tribute To Monty Python
Real Player Required

Holy Grail Audio

He's not dead, he's..pensive.

He's not dead, he's..pensive.

He's not the messiah - he's a very naughty boy!

You are all different!

Yes - we are all different!

You are all individuals!

Yes - we are all individuals!
(I'm not)

What's so special about the cheese-makers?
It's not meant to be taken literally, it refers to any maker of dairy products....

He's not dead, he's..pensive.

http://www.montypythonsspamalot.com/HighBand/SpamOperaHome.html

Spank me! Spank me very roughly!

And after the spanking, the oral sex!

"Firstly, you must find... another shrubbery! .... Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must place it here beside this shrubbery, only slightly higher so you get the two-level effect with a little path running down the middle. .... Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest... with... a herring!"

"Yes, we must leave now. We, ah...have a train to catch!" "Yes, and I'm having a rather heavy period! I wouldn't want to bleed all over the seats!"

"oh, I am sorry. Is this the five minute argument or the full half hour." "Oh, oh just the five minute one."

and

"I could be agruing in my spare time."

"That's not an argument, it's a contradiction!"

"No it's not."

and,

"It's eight o'clock, and time for the penquin on your television set to explode."

[ Edited by: Son-of-Kelbo 2008-03-06 09:04 ]

Oh, I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK.....

"Who's that then?"
"I dunno, must be a king."
"Why?""He hasn't got shit all over him."

[ Edited by: leisure master 2008-03-06 10:57 ]

...it hasn't got much spam in it.

Ni!

One of my favorites...

1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Who goes there?
King Arthur: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all England!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Pull the other one!
King Arthur: I am, and this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: What? Ridden on a horse?
King Arthur: Yes!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: You're using coconuts!
King Arthur: What?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together.
King Arthur: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through...
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Where'd you get the coconuts?
King Arthur: We found them.
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
King Arthur: What do you mean?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Well, this is a temperate zone
King Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
King Arthur: Not at all. They could be carried.
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
King Arthur: It could grip it by the husk!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
King Arthur: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
King Arthur: Please!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Am I right?

g'day Bruce!

(he's not dead)
He's pining for the fjords.

...may we have your liver?

"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!"

Yes, well, that's the sort of blinkered, philistine pig ignorance I've come to expect from you non-creative garbage. You sit there on your loathsome, spotty behinds squeezing blackheads, not caring a tinker's cuss for the struggling artist. You excrement! You whining, hypocritical toadies, with your colour TV sets and your Tony Jacklin golf clubs and your bleeding Masonic secret handshakes! You wouldn't let me join, would you, you blackballing bastards! Well, I wouldn't become a freemason now if you went down on your lousy, stinking knees and begged me!

"It's just a flesh wound."

"What's he do, nibble your bum?"

"Woke up this morning with one sock too many". Damned mosquitos