Things that may sound odd to non-tiki folk

It's happened to everyone: you're talking about tikis and some old bitty next to you is listening in on your conversation and shoots you an unapproving look. perhaps you said one of the following:

"do you know where I can score a Severed Head?"

"I need to make some Zombies"

"My husband's pissed 'cuz I broke his skull"

"Ben can get you a shunken head"

-Z

actual conversation: my wife on cell phone from t.j. maxx: "how many suffering bastards do you want?"

"Mr. Smiley, that’s a beautiful negligee you have on."

"I bet Sabu the Coconut Boy would love this post card!"

Said in Hawai'i "I paid way too much for a Mainlander".

This reminds me of the fella who had those funny novelty songs-one was called "Beer Nuts",and there was another one about candy bars.Can anyone give his name? I can see him doing a tiki thing-"So I told that suffering bastard that he was quite the Zombie,and he needed to come down from his Bali Hai",Etc.Would be really funny.

On 2005-03-30 13:13, Unga Bunga wrote:
"Mr. Smiley, that’s a beautiful negligee you have on."

I just wanted to add, that I am fortunate to have a friend with a sense of humor. :)

On 2005-03-30 19:36, Unga Bunga wrote:

On 2005-03-30 13:13, Unga Bunga wrote:
"Mr. Smiley, that’s a beautiful negligee you have on."

I just wanted to add, that I am fortunate to have a friend with a sense of humor. :)

i propose a modification to "godwin's law" called "unga bunga's law":

as a [tiki central] discussion grows longer, the probability of an [unga bunga] comparison involving [crossdressing] approaches one. :)

I never like saying out loud when ordering Pupu Platter for fear of what I may end up getting. (or a lava flow for that matter)

"I'll take this one please."

And the probablility of Unga Bunga posting a cartoon related to the subject is 100 percent!

well...we're waiting, Unga!

"He asked me if I wanted a Lapu-Lapu and I said damn right I do"

My neighbors heard me wailing "Honey! Bosco's floating in the pool!! If he takes on any more water, he'll sink! How you gonna get him up then?!" (Our first tiki, a Bosko, so named.) And my hubby yelling back "Sheist! He can't svim! He can't even talk!" (?) Drunk Germans! I saw them peek over the fence to make sure we didn't have some dude doing the upside down fish in our lagoon.
Our dog, a Boxer, knocked Bosco in. He was humpin it.

On 2005-04-11 17:08, Hau 'oli Tiki wrote:
My neighbors heard me wailing "Honey! Bosco's floating in the pool!! If he takes on any more water, he'll sink! How you gonna get him up then?!" (Our first tiki, a Bosko, so named.) And my hubby yelling back "Sheist! He can't svim! He can't even talk!" (?) Drunk Germans! I saw them peek over the fence to make sure we didn't have some dude doing the upside down fish in our lagoon.
Our dog, a Boxer, knocked Bosco in. He was humpin it.

I wish you were our next door neighbors.

I always have to backtrack when I'm talking to non-tiki people about Otto and Baby Doe..."Baby Doe?"

Suffering Bastard never loses its charm... I've had my wife's friends from work over and they never tire of ordering or just saying Suffering Bastard...maybe it's a liberating experience to be able to use profanity and not offend anyone. I guess I've been encouraging cussing by adding it to the menu!

On 2005-03-31 07:21, tikifish wrote:
And the probablility of Unga Bunga posting a cartoon related to the subject is 100 percent!

My co workers, friends and family threw me a wedding shower before the said tiki themed wedding. One of the games they had was to complete a list with each first letter already provided, and each word had to relate to the wedding. This was my list:

Suffering Bastard
Hula
Outrigger
Witco
Exotica
Rum

I, of course, had to explain that a suffering bastard is indeed a drink.

"Honey,

The kids shot glasses need a refill" (because we use em like juice glassses for the monkeyboy and monkeygirl)

dangit!!! the fish knocked the suffering bastard over!!!!----we have a suffering bastard shot glass in one of out fish tanks

[ Edited by: tiki5-0 on 2005-04-22 14:22 ]

"Hi, do you sell Orgeat?"

"Can you show me how you make your sugar water?"

To my boss:

"I need a week off. Tikigreg is coming to town."

On 2005-04-23 17:50, stentiki wrote:
To my boss:
"I need a week off. Tikigreg is coming to town."

There you go Sten. I just told my boss yesterday regarding Oasis that, "I am spending my precious vacation days with a bunch of rowdies who are into Tiki".
Boss=?

To Friend: "And I had a great time at the Mai Kai"
Friend: "I didn't realize the dry cleaners were so much fun."

Yeah, it was even funnier when I returned and they asked me how my vacation was -

"First we went to Billy's for Navy Grog and then dropped by the House of Tiki. The next day we took a Kon-Tiki cruise and had dinner with Sven, author of the Book of Tiki. On Thursday, we met Bamboo Ben and joined Bong in his hut before pupus and lapus at the Royal Hawaiian. And on Friday I bid 'Aloha' to Tikigreg & K.O. after meeting Bob & Leroy, headhunting at Oceanic Arts, and lunch at Bahooka."

It was one of the best week's I've ever had! :)

You have to try TikiMatt's Monkeypiss.

"Could I hold your one-eyed Moai?"

I just spent $150 on a mug: My wife thought that was odd, then she got pissed.

Overheard at Al'n'Shelly's during the carving party:

"There's wood shavings in my Lapu Lapu."
"I was buying bananas for Horney Monkeys."