Most Lame Tiki Event?

Okay, I'm all for tiki parties, from Hukilau to the neighbor's barbecue, so I'm hoping this will all be in good fun. But I think that, a few weeks ago, I may have attended the worst tiki/luau themed event ever.

It was at Seattle's swanky Columbia Tower Club, and was advertised to members for weeks. The decor consisted of a few cardboard Luau decorations like you might see in the produce section of Safeway during Hawaiian Days. There were awards for the best tiki outfits, though virtually no one dressed so the winners were in pretty pedestrian Hawaiian garb. The bartenders had no clue how to make a zombie or mai tai. No exotica or even Don Ho. And last but not least, the name-dropping, expensive-cigar-smoking attendees were about as far from the tiki spirit as you could possibly find.

What's the worst tiki/luau event you've ever been to?

Every tiki event I have attended became ZAZZ (fantastic) because of my presence!!!! (I am available for hire!!) :)

I don't think I can top your experience.

here's an upcoming event destined for lameness...

Business After Five Mixer

What: ALOHA! Join us outdoors for a Business After Five

HAWAIIAN STYLE. Hosted by TMI - Toward Maximum Independence

Mix, Mingle & Network
Island Music Provided by DJ Thomas Howard
Light Appetizers and Tropical Drinks
CONTEST - Best Dressed in Hawaiian Attire
Door Prizes
When: Thursday, July 21, 2005 from 5:30 pm to 7:30 pm
Where: 4740 Murphy Canyon Road, Suite 300
How Much: $20 Chamber Members, $125 Tabletop Exhibit. Coupon holders and Circle of Influence Members.

... and no strippers, yuk!

For my sins i had to work at the "Napier University End of Term Beach Party", which was held by the trainee events manager at the club i work at.
It was GRIM, about a hundred quids worth of paper and polythene Luau decorations, chart music and the promoter and his girlfriend in hawaiian shirts/grass skirts.
The crowd was horrible, rugby bugger types, after an hour i asked my boss to send me home, so i cleanse myself of the shame of attending such a thing.

I went to this lame party last year in Ft. Lauderdale that got blown out by a hurricane. Bunch of weirdos down there. One guy wore a hula skirt and some bamboo crown. Another guy kept running around putting stickers on everyone's back. Everybody kept drinking my rum.

There was this scary guy named Cod or Bluefish... wait... Flounder - that's it.

L.
A.
M.
E.

...can't wait to go there again this year.