VampTiki visits the OB-TikiYN

Of course you all know of my beautiful VampTiki, carved by the talented 4WDtiki (Bill). For the last 2 years she has been my pride and joy as she stands guard over my Tiki lounge. She is about 5'6" with beautiful tattoos, fabulous tatas, evil fangs, and sports a gorgeous hand-made lei by Bill's wife.

About a year ago I noticed that VampTiki developed a questionable funkiness about her nether-region. The Sacramento Ohana inspected her at several parties I had...and proclaimed her to have crotch-rot. I feared that she might be infested by critters...but never saw any termite eggs. I contacted Bill and set up an appointment for her to be examined and treated during time I would be visiting in San Diego. Over the next few months her crotch-rot increased, such that she was splitting up under her left arm...I was worried about the funkiness invading her breastasis...but the crack seemed to slow down (just in time to visit Bill, the OB-TikiYN), so titled by my Niece's husband, Damian, who was also worried that she had cracked up so much, even to the point of affecting her bootay.

A week ago, VampTiki was loaded in my car and I drove to San Diego. Just a quick jaunt off the freeway to the clinic for her pelvic exam by Bill. She was quickly diagnosed with severe dryness and Bill treated her with an injection of wood putty and some new stain. I linked up with Bill at the "Hanalei" this morning and I'm happy to say she was in complete recovery and looking like her usual self. He loaded her in my car and she will soon be back in her usual spot by the lounge.

Bottom line...STDs (Splitting Tiki Disease) can be cured. So if your Girl Tiki gets crotch-rot, be sure to get her off to the OB-TikiYN asap and get a putty injection and stain. [Thank you Bill!!!]

Good story.

Too funny! I've never seen her before. Might I say, she is quite fetching! I'm glad she is okay.

Marlene,

Glad to here your gaurdian is much improved.

On 2010-08-23 16:15, Big Kahuna wrote:
Too funny! I've never seen her before. Might I say, she is quite fetching! I'm glad she is okay.

Hop on an airplane to Sacramento for the Sac Home Tiki Bar Crawl Oct 8-10. Saturday night you can admire Vamp's Tiki while sipping a Mai Tai and listening to the Martini Kings.

On 2010-08-26 18:14, Chief Bartender wrote:

On 2010-08-23 16:15, Big Kahuna wrote:
Too funny! I've never seen her before. Might I say, she is quite fetching! I'm glad she is okay.

Hop on an airplane to Sacramento for the Sac Home Tiki Bar Crawl Oct 8-10. Saturday night you can admire Vamp's Tiki while sipping a Mai Tai and listening to the Martini Kings.

Sigh! I wish I could. I swear I'll get out to CA to meet you folks within the next 2 years. Only problem is, I might not wanna come home!

Marlene, glad I was able to patch the girl up!
Her condition was a little beyond "take two aspirin and call me in the morning!"

I did "fill her crack" with "putty", and now she's good to go! :lol: