Basic Bar Manners - Beyond Tiki

V VampiressRN Grand Member (1 year) Sun City Lincoln Hills (NorCal) Joined: Nov 23, 2006 Posts: 6166	V VampiressRN Posted posted on Sun, May 20, 2012 2:59 PM I read an article today about 10 things you should never do at a bar, so thought I would share. Luckily I graduated from charm school as a kid and my parents did not allow rudeness (I say please and thank you, I stack my dirty dishes when done, I point my curled pinky finger skyward when sipping a cuppa, I tip appropriately)...but I wonder now if I do anything that might be annoying to a waiter. Are these items below typical irritations that occur? What is the proper way to get the waiters attention? Would love to have some insight from those in the business. What other irritating behaviors get under your skin? WAVING MONEY - No one likes waiting at a crowded bar, but taking out a $20 bill and flapping it around to get your bartender's attention is not helping your case. If the 'tender is doing their job, they will see you - drinks are typically served based on who got to the bar first, not who has the biggest wad of cash in their hand. Flashing your cash may work at the strip club, but if the mixologists are keeping their clothes on, you should keep things classy when you're ordering a cocktail. SNAPPING - The only thing worse than the money flap? A finger snap. Bartenders are a busy bunch, and 99% of the time they see you waiting there - so take a deep breath and please refrain from snapping your fingers to beckon them over. If this were the Victorian era, you could call your servants with the ring of a bell - there was no need to worry about patronizing them. Doing it in this day and age makes your server feel like a lowly Victorian server - not cool. The sole exception to this rule is if you're at a crowded Jersey Shore bar looking to order at least five kamikaze or Jager bomb shots. In that case, snapping will do. HOOVER & SWOOP - This one is common at busy restaurants where patrons crowd on top of bar stools and order a full meal. The stools typically aren't reserved, so it's a frenzy when someone gets up and everyone claims that they were waiting for the seat. Yes, it's a messy system, but the worst thing you can do is get an idea that someone is getting ready to leave and then inch in... and then inch in a little more..and get so close that you're basically leaning up against them while waiting for their seats. When they start to stand up - it's time for the swoop, aka grabbing the bar stools out from under them before they are even ready to depart. Yes, making them feel like you're sitting on their laps will make them leave faster, but do you really want to deal with hover and swoop karma at the end of your meal? Didn't think so. ELBOWING IN - Want to get to the lip of the bar in a crowded room? One type of person patiently waits and says "excuse me" as openings arise. Another type doesn't bother with that, they just employ their elbows as crowd control devices and start pushing people out of the way. Three things: 1. Didn't you learn in kindergarten that cutting isn't cool? Do you really need another drink THAT badly? If you're going to get physical maybe you should cool it. 3. Ow. Those things hurt! THE DOUBLE ORDER - Guaranteed, every bartender has experienced this type: Customer: "I'll have two vodka sodas." Bartender makes vodka sodas, places them in front of customer. Customer: "Oh, can I have one more vodka soda?" While this isn't so bad when it's a simple drink or a pint of beer, the more complex the cocktail, the more miffed bartenders will be that they couldn't make them all at the same time. Even worse is when one patron is unsure, waffles while the bartender makes a few drinks, sees them presented and then says "oh, can I have one of those?" It doesn't even matter what you order, just be decisive about what you're drinking. NO KIDS ALLOWED - Here's the scenario: a group comes in with a child or two, is told that a table isn't available and walks right over to the bar and sits on down. What is wrong with this picture? We doubt even the most crafty seven year old has an ID that says they are of legal drinking age, and they shouldn't, because the bar is not a place for kids. Bartenders don't like it because it makes other patrons feels awkward, takes up valuable real estate that could be filled with customers actually buying drinks and is even illegal in some states. We're all for kids going out to eat, but if you're not old enough to legally order a beer, you shouldn't be making like Norm and saddling up to the bar. [I gotta say this is one of my big pet peeves...it isn't bad enough that you eat in the bar area to avoid the crying kids, you have to listen to the TV cracked up on a sports channel...then in comes a group with screaming kids...argh!!!] STOOLS AS COAT HOLDERS - Simple rule, especially in a crowded bar: stools are for sitting, and coatracks are for coats. No one seems to follow this one though, as bar stools are constantly heaped with coats, backpacks and various other bric-a-brac that is anything but a paying customer. Another pet peeve is the group of people who take two stools, load them up with all their belongings and then stands near them. Are they technically using those seats? No. Are you able to sit there? No, unless you want to make a cozy cushion out of all their stuff. CONVERSATION WHEN BUSY - A good bartender loves to chat and will regale you with tales when the establishment is slow. A good bartender can also bust out 10 drink orders quickly and efficiently. What a good bartender doesn't like is being interviewed when they are slammed. Especially when they are mixing it up on the bar and a patron who happens to be sitting nearby asks "what are you making?" Ok, a little curiosity is never bad, but when that is followed up with questions like "what's that?" and "what other ingredients are in there?," it just becomes a distraction for the mixologist and slows everyone down. If you see the bartender is busy, drink your drink and don't interrupt them. THE DOUBTING DRINKER - For some reason, a certain type of bar goer thinks the bartender is trying to slip something by them. They get the drink they ordered, sniff, sip, investigate and accuse: "This is not my drink." Bartenders are accused of substituting vodka for gin or pouring Miller in the place of Bud. Of course, mistakes are made, but if you ask the bartender and he says that there was no mistake, this is generally where the conversation should end, as service employees don't make a habit of trying to deceive their patrons. One industry vet gave an example in which they were accused of serving Chardonnay in place of Pinot Grigio, when the restaurant had never owned or sold a bottle of Chardonnay in its history. If you're going to continue to protest after that's explained to you, you probably should just switch to red. I CAN'T TASTE THE ALCOHOL - If you want your drink strong, order a double. Or, just skip the mixer altogether and opt for a straight-up martini. Do NOT take a sip, turn to the bartender and say "Um, did you put any alcohol in this, because I can't taste it." Usually this is a preface for another question: "Can you add some more?" It's also usually a sign that the drinker is either cheap, already drunk, younger than they should be, or all of the above. The worst is when they ask for a simple vodka cocktail and claim not to be able to "taste the vodka," which, by its nature, is a flavorless alcohol.

I read an article today about 10 things you should never do at a bar, so thought I would share. Luckily I graduated from charm school as a kid and my parents did not allow rudeness (I say please and thank you, I stack my dirty dishes when done, I point my curled pinky finger skyward when sipping a cuppa, I tip appropriately)...but I wonder now if I do anything that might be annoying to a waiter.

Are these items below typical irritations that occur? What is the proper way to get the waiters attention? Would love to have some insight from those in the business. What other irritating behaviors get under your skin?

WAVING MONEY - No one likes waiting at a crowded bar, but taking out a $20 bill and flapping it around to get your bartender's attention is not helping your case. If the 'tender is doing their job, they will see you - drinks are typically served based on who got to the bar first, not who has the biggest wad of cash in their hand. Flashing your cash may work at the strip club, but if the mixologists are keeping their clothes on, you should keep things classy when you're ordering a cocktail.
SNAPPING - The only thing worse than the money flap? A finger snap. Bartenders are a busy bunch, and 99% of the time they see you waiting there - so take a deep breath and please refrain from snapping your fingers to beckon them over. If this were the Victorian era, you could call your servants with the ring of a bell - there was no need to worry about patronizing them. Doing it in this day and age makes your server feel like a lowly Victorian server - not cool. The sole exception to this rule is if you're at a crowded Jersey Shore bar looking to order at least five kamikaze or Jager bomb shots. In that case, snapping will do.
HOOVER & SWOOP - This one is common at busy restaurants where patrons crowd on top of bar stools and order a full meal. The stools typically aren't reserved, so it's a frenzy when someone gets up and everyone claims that they were waiting for the seat. Yes, it's a messy system, but the worst thing you can do is get an idea that someone is getting ready to leave and then inch in... and then inch in a little more..and get so close that you're basically leaning up against them while waiting for their seats. When they start to stand up - it's time for the swoop, aka grabbing the bar stools out from under them before they are even ready to depart. Yes, making them feel like you're sitting on their laps will make them leave faster, but do you really want to deal with hover and swoop karma at the end of your meal? Didn't think so.
ELBOWING IN - Want to get to the lip of the bar in a crowded room? One type of person patiently waits and says "excuse me" as openings arise. Another type doesn't bother with that, they just employ their elbows as crowd control devices and start pushing people out of the way. Three things: 1. Didn't you learn in kindergarten that cutting isn't cool?
Do you really need another drink THAT badly? If you're going to get physical maybe you should cool it. 3. Ow. Those things hurt!
THE DOUBLE ORDER - Guaranteed, every bartender has experienced this type:
Customer: "I'll have two vodka sodas." Bartender makes vodka sodas, places them in front of customer. Customer: "Oh, can I have one more vodka soda?" While this isn't so bad when it's a simple drink or a pint of beer, the more complex the cocktail, the more miffed bartenders will be that they couldn't make them all at the same time. Even worse is when one patron is unsure, waffles while the bartender makes a few drinks, sees them presented and then says "oh, can I have one of those?" It doesn't even matter what you order, just be decisive about what you're drinking.
NO KIDS ALLOWED - Here's the scenario: a group comes in with a child or two, is told that a table isn't available and walks right over to the bar and sits on down. What is wrong with this picture? We doubt even the most crafty seven year old has an ID that says they are of legal drinking age, and they shouldn't, because the bar is not a place for kids. Bartenders don't like it because it makes other patrons feels awkward, takes up valuable real estate that could be filled with customers actually buying drinks and is even illegal in some states. We're all for kids going out to eat, but if you're not old enough to legally order a beer, you shouldn't be making like Norm and saddling up to the bar. [I gotta say this is one of my big pet peeves...it isn't bad enough that you eat in the bar area to avoid the crying kids, you have to listen to the TV cracked up on a sports channel...then in comes a group with screaming kids...argh!!!]
STOOLS AS COAT HOLDERS - Simple rule, especially in a crowded bar: stools are for sitting, and coatracks are for coats. No one seems to follow this one though, as bar stools are constantly heaped with coats, backpacks and various other bric-a-brac that is anything but a paying customer. Another pet peeve is the group of people who take two stools, load them up with all their belongings and then stands near them. Are they technically using those seats? No. Are you able to sit there? No, unless you want to make a cozy cushion out of all their stuff.
CONVERSATION WHEN BUSY - A good bartender loves to chat and will regale you with tales when the establishment is slow. A good bartender can also bust out 10 drink orders quickly and efficiently. What a good bartender doesn't like is being interviewed when they are slammed. Especially when they are mixing it up on the bar and a patron who happens to be sitting nearby asks "what are you making?" Ok, a little curiosity is never bad, but when that is followed up with questions like "what's that?" and "what other ingredients are in there?," it just becomes a distraction for the mixologist and slows everyone down. If you see the bartender is busy, drink your drink and don't interrupt them.
THE DOUBTING DRINKER - For some reason, a certain type of bar goer thinks the bartender is trying to slip something by them. They get the drink they ordered, sniff, sip, investigate and accuse: "This is not my drink." Bartenders are accused of substituting vodka for gin or pouring Miller in the place of Bud. Of course, mistakes are made, but if you ask the bartender and he says that there was no mistake, this is generally where the conversation should end, as service employees don't make a habit of trying to deceive their patrons. One industry vet gave an example in which they were accused of serving Chardonnay in place of Pinot Grigio, when the restaurant had never owned or sold a bottle of Chardonnay in its history. If you're going to continue to protest after that's explained to you, you probably should just switch to red.
I CAN'T TASTE THE ALCOHOL - If you want your drink strong, order a double. Or, just skip the mixer altogether and opt for a straight-up martini. Do NOT take a sip, turn to the bartender and say "Um, did you put any alcohol in this, because I can't taste it." Usually this is a preface for another question: "Can you add some more?" It's also usually a sign that the drinker is either cheap, already drunk, younger than they should be, or all of the above. The worst is when they ask for a simple vodka cocktail and claim not to be able to "taste the vodka," which, by its nature, is a flavorless alcohol.