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Hukilau 2003 Report

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Ok, I'm rolling in green sheets of jealousy.
Hukilau is, as reported via cell "classic, awesome, da bomb...and YES 'coooool'."
My guys, Bamboo Ben, Crazy Al, Holden, King and Casey, are having waaaaaaaaaaaay tooooo much fun.
The Mai Kai has sent Bamboo Ben to "heaven"...he says the place is "out of control".... beautifully designed..."ohana" maintained and strict tradition in hospitality.
The vibe is incredible. At 2:30 am, they are all headed out to shoot off fireworks on the beach.
I think with the water temp at 85, there might be some naked people floundering tonight....oh man, I won't skip next year!

I'm writing this from the lobby of the Holiday Inn in Ft Lauderdale. What a great event. The mai Kai ruled. Thanks to Swanky and Kiliki for pulling off the event of the Summer. More to come later.

the other AL had a great!!! time as well GONG!!!!!
Crazy Al

Kiliki here too!!!! Amazing - everyone was and is amazing that attended this weekend. Many thanks to everyone! Damn this was fun! - Tiki Kiliki

Damn! and I thought Sam's was THE place! The Mai Kai is where my ashes will be spread whenever I go! SugarCaddyDaddy

Can't believe I was witness to the most phenomenal Mystery Bowl Dance in the history of Tiki!!!!!! Inky definitely won the best auction!!!!!! purple jade


"The Mai Kai...I nearly shit a brick"- King Kukulele

Shelley and Inky found a new kind of sensual experience at the Mai Kai. The Mystery Boy sure can make double tiki trouble happen!! Bang a gong, Crazy Al, Band a Gong!
Shell in the Pacific


Ok, the shade of green just became very, very deep!
The crew, Bamboo Ben, Crazy Al, King Kook, Al, Shelley and Inky are enjoying the sunset at the tip of Key West.
They ROCK! After 3 days and nights of heavy partying (All closed the Mai Kai last night then Ben and Al went bodysurfing til 5 am....then, of course, back to the room to torture Holden who had to board his plane in a few hours) and still they all make it to the tip for sunset!! Inky ran up to the group catching the sunset by just a few minutes....very "cool."
It's a sea of about 1000 people for the sunset gig and crazy antics everywhere!
Man, I'm so not missing next year :cry:
That's the latest from some of our TC peeps.


[ Edited by: Mrs. B on 2003-06-29 18:49 ]


Caught the crew on "Sloppy Joes" live cam....thanks to Floratina....she clued us all in via cell, reg phone and "coolness."
Told Crazy "ass" Al to jump on stage but I think King Kook was begging "no show tonight!!"
Geeeezus, what a rage, how "cool," aahhhhh!
Huge Aloha to the Key West venture crew!!!!

Just spoke with the gang. They were at a bar called Sloppy Joe's in Key West and they cavorted in front of the webcam so's I (and anyone else who got a cellular head's up) could see them.

A great event, great location, great fun, and great people.

Lots of stuff for sale both up in the Coral Room and on the vendor's floor. It was hard to walk away from either without blowing a wad of cash. Too bad the Shag mugs didn't show up on time. :( I know they'll arrive soon enough...

I Belli Di Wakiki rocked the house two nights in a row, both at the party on Friday and at the Mai Kai on Saturday. Grazie!

Speaking of the Mai Kai -- what a place. This was my second time at the restaurant and it's just as wonderful as ever -- a Mecca for the tikiphile.

I'd like to post something longer and more thoughtfull here but my head is swimming with too many memories.

I've posted a little gallery of photos at http://www.astropad.com/hukilau


Tim and Christie, Bre'elle and Tristan...what can I say....The whole event..Truly (as Mai Kai means....) "The Best". This place raises the bar so very high that one would have to discuss any further progress with Saint Peter. Kern, Pia, and the Mai Kai family have to be the most effective, exemplary, warm, personable, and knowledgeable people ever born into the Polynesian dream, and the hospitality sets a benchmark. The legacy of Bob and Jack Thornton is impeccable in every detail and cared for like the Sistine Chapel of the Tiki world. The show was so great I was overwhelmed....it's just a masterpiece. To all of you great people I finally got to meet: Gecko...your'e the real thing, Braddah, a true believer. Hope to see you at La Mariana soon...Ben and Al- Your persons far, far exceed your legend...a great couple of guys that run circles around us country boys...hope to see you soon on the Hale Tiki project..We'll get your bail all worked out and/or dial 911 in advance. Thanks for the shirt, Ben, it'll be in rotation by tomorrow! Pacifica and the Afa Tasi family...you stole the show. You exemplify the Aloha spirit..Al and Shelley-(low Maitre De voice: )-"Mr. Wolfe told me to inform you that everything is on the house...enjoy your evening at the Kon Tiki Paradise Room"..Your thoughtfulness is out of this world and then some, just great people. Thanks for the coffee can, card, and pendant. I sketched you out a Samoan war club in the car on the way home. I hope you like it...Purple Jade and HumuHumu (insert Barry White music)..charm, talent, and class...James-can we switch brains? This man has forgotten more about tiki bars than half the world will ever know. It was a pleasure; just let me know if you want something carved and we'll part-trade out for some artifacts...Casey, I soooo admire your job, my friend, and wish I had half as much in the charm department..I'll look out for C.T. stuff for you and have to visit soon to check out the Tropics in person..Kukelele, I'd trust you with my life. If you want the best, that's the guy, period. Holden, you're at the top of your game and strictly a class act...Kava King and Michelle, your drinks await, so get up here! TikiVixen, Vern, Powerofthetiki, Traderpup, Lance, Doctor Z, Mr. Smiley, TikiGreg, it was a pleasure meetin you and you all are welcome anytime at the Paradise Room if you happen through Georgia. Anybody that has a "Hey, what about me" please speak up..You all drink for free at the KTPR...This big oaf from Jawja and his Wahine had a blast. I'm drooling for next year like an Ed Roth caRTOON~!

[ Edited by: Basement Kahuna on 2003-06-30 18:55 ]

[ Edited by: Basement Kahuna on 2003-07-01 16:55 ]


Just a brief shout to say what a blast the 2003 Hukilau was! I will detail more later but for now, let me say that all the organizers, vendors and participants did a great job. The tiki gods smiled upon us.

The venue was great. Mai Kai, hotel, beach everything!

I was at the closing of the Kahiki and everyone kept saying how it was the ultimate Polynesian bar/restaurant. Well, with respect, I submit that the Mai Kai lacks nothing comparted to the Kahiki, and more importantly, continues to live on.

The weekend was really great. The thing that struck me during the weekend is what great friendships we all have experienced because of our love of tiki. I get the warmest feelings from you guys. There is just an indescribable happiness that I get inside when I talk with the people that I have met through our common interest. I don't get that anywhere else.

Special thanks to Kiliki for the great work. I got to spend more time with her this year and she is one helluva tiki woman and event organizer.

Photos and more comments to come.

Mahalo and appreciation to all,


[ Edited by: tikibob on 2003-06-30 22:09 ]

WOW! At the risk of sounding out-of-character, THIS EVENT ROCKED!! This was my first event and I am truly impressed.

Thank you Tiki Kaliki, Swanky, Trader Trick and Tiki Bree--you should be very proud of your efforts. CAN WE GO BACK TO THE MAIKAI EVERY YEAR?

Thank you for allowing the CTR to participate in such a positive life experience! I am truly looking forward to seeing everyone again.



Thanks for the photos! Keep 'em coming for the folks back home!

Rain posted on Mon, Jun 30, 2003 5:37 PM

tiki bob is right - i am missing the sense of camraderie that was at this event already. i'm also ten times as homesick for florida.

all i can say about the event otherwise is - wow.


It does not get better than this! So spectacular an introduction by Crazy Al is needed!

Here are photos!


What a weekend!


[ Edited by: tikibob on 2003-07-01 10:21 ]


On 2003-06-30 11:21, [email protected] wrote:
WOW! At the risk of sounding out-of-character, THIS EVENT ROCKED!!

Nope, Casey honey, I say that all the time :)
See you soon.

Now that's a lucky optometrist (and I mean that respectfully, Al!).

The Hukilau absolutely rocked! Nothing in my wildest of dreams could have prepared me for the Mai-Kai! Christie, Swanky, Tristen & Bree outdid themselves - amazing planning! Kern, Kulani, Pia & Hazel of the Mai Kai all rock - thank you! Did anyone get to meet Kulani's mom? WOW - some amazing genes in that family - she is beautiful! I want to live there rent free – I’ll scrub floors all day and sleep in their beautiful garden all night! Make offers on the Farm now! Too much to write – I know all who attended will agree – the Mai-Kai is absolutely the epitome of Tiki!

But now onto the craziest roommate a guy could ever have for a weekend of debauchery, Bamboo Ben (aka my whacky bro Bennnnno)…

After being seemingly unawaken about 30 minutes into a deeply anticipated 3.5 hour partially mai-tai induced sleep with a giant yellow BAMBOO BEN sticker stuck to my head by Ben, Crazy Al, King Kukulele & another fellow (you know, the sticker that Ben placed on many a derrier... Ben opted again to do the sticking – the other fine fellows were supporting the act though – you maniacs!!) and prior to my departing a.m. flight back to So Cal. I jumped into action! I kept the eyes apparently closed and when Ben attempted a second time… FLYING KARATE KICK TO THE TORSO followed by fully vertical body slams onto a writhing Bamboo Ben! You think that would have been enough for the night…..NOOOO!!! Later that morning, around 5am, I was greeted by the eminent yet unsuccessful flash of the BAMBOO BEN camera with a smiling & sly Crazy Al in the background – yes the “disheveled mid-hangover nearly comatose photo”… but NO!!! Just as the flash was about to go off and from my 95% asleep body – KARATE KICK #2 – the camera went flying mid-flash!!! HY-YAH BEN!! NO MESS WITH ME!! Ben’s and Al’s astonishment did not surprise me – I AM THE GRASSHOPPER – all in a night’s work!

Now, I’ve got to figure out how to fill some backorders! Thank you DOT-LINE TRANSPORTATION for your GUARANTEED BY THURSDAY DELIVERY! You guys SUCK MAJORLY!!! The mugs will go out when Dot-Line returns them to me!

There were so many great people that I got to meet in person for the first time – I can’t name you all. Thanks for the great times and the ability to break away from “the trenches of tiki commerce” with so many a mai tai and so many a fond memory and a couple of nightmares thanks to Ben!


[ Edited by: smogbreather on 2003-07-01 00:10 ]

Monday night, just got home...connecting flight from Atlanta cancelled due to tropical storm, no flights out until Tuesday night, rented a car with strangers from Baton Rouge, and drove home in wretched weather with two great new friends.

I think the only disappointing thing about this weekend is that it had to end.

Swanky, Kiliki, Tiki Bree, and Tristan, I can't think of a way to say thank you adequately. What a blast!

Hoiti Toitis, I adore each and every one of you - Doctor Z and Z Girl, Traderpup (you are a real sweetie!), Al and Shelley (quite possibly the most fun chick on the planet), Bamboo Ben, Crazy Al, King Kuke, you guys just leave me breathless.

Isn't this true, ladies? Five minutes with Gecko is like the steamiest page out of the kind of novel you read with a box of chocolates! swoon

Wild boys of Jawja and their fabulous wahines, GET THAT BAR OPEN SOON!

Inky Louise (easily first runner-up for most fun chick on the planet), thanks for sharing your Mystery Bowl with me.

Famous Mr. Smiley and the voluptuous Tiki Vixen (whose pictures do not come close to revealing exactly how foxy this vixen really is), thanks for the engaging conversation.

JTD, good craic!

[ Edited by: purple jade on 2003-11-05 14:59 ]


After a long, wild Hukilau weekend I am officially hooked into the world of tikidom. I have fought against e-forums for years and now that I have met so many of you I am sucked in and cannot stay away. It is pretty tough getting back into work mode today because now that I am registered with TC I of course have to go back and check out some of the old posts. Putting names and faces together makes it a lot more fun.

With "Halé Tiki" opening in Augusta this fall, I am holding those of you who said you would be here for the Grand Opening accountable.

Dave, Heather, Brad and myself (Julee) had an absolute blast and re-hashed the whole weekend over and over on our our 12 hour drive back to GA.

Kava King (and Queen) in a couple of weeks (after financial recovery) we will all have to reunite at Trader Vic's once again.

Great time, Great People! Don't miss Hukilau 2004!!!


Tikibob wrote:

The weekend was really great. The thing that struck me during the weekend is what great friendships we all have experienced because of our love of tiki. I get the warmest feelings from you guys. There is just an indescribable happiness that I get inside when I talk with the people that I have met through our common interest. I don't get that anywhere else.

Couldn't have put it better myself!! Tikibob, fabled optometrist of Tiki, you are the greatest. It was such a pleasure to meet so many of you I've only briefly encountered or never met at all! Purple Jade, you are a gorgeous vixen yourself and I so hope we can talk again soon! Email me anytime! Vern, when you make it to the West Coast, don't forget to call! Basement Kahuna, your love of explosives and your charming accent makes you a favorite TCer of mine. Inky, I'm so sorry we didn't get a chance to talk...maybe in Chicago?! Shelly, you are the belle of the ball. I am always so happy to see you! And Al, I will come to San Diego to visit you two soon! really! I can't wait to experience your place. Just tell me which rum to bring...Traderpup, I am privileged to have witnessed the Mystery Girl moment. You blushed, I do declare! SCD, I didn't see nearly enough of you, but of course you were there!! How could I ever have doubted? (Floratina and Poly Pop, did you really NOT GO??? I'm amazed.) Humu...we must dish some more, and soon! You are a bombshell, doll! It was great to see you having such a blast...Kiliki and Swanky, I love you guys. I'm very happy to have met you. You did the most amazing job...Next time you head out this way, you have about twelve places to stay, remember!!! Doctor and Z-Girl, always a pleasure--can't wait to see you both again. GECKO, I'm sorry we didn't get to talk MORE! Another time, I hope...Ben, next time I am down south, wild horses couldn't keep me from your store!!! I was so disappointed not to meet Mrs. B, though...wah. Bre'elle and Tristan, thanks so much for your warmth and hospitality (woof!). James, I'm not accepting any more drinks from you! But I would road trip with you anyday, anywhere! I also have a newspaper clipping for your that'll blow your mind. Did you keep the Toad??? Be careful...it might be cursed! ooOOooh. King Kook, you were delightful as always and it was a nice change to actually chat with you, too! Um, and that dance was, er, memorable!!! Showing your shorts in public, I'm shocked...Holden, I hear the best things about you! Wow! And Casey...can't wait for the Oasis! Last but not least, the inimitable Mr Smiley...of course I am proud to be friends with such a famous guy!!!

I'm rambling. I also have pictures which I will post to Shutterfly as soon as I can stop trying to catch up on weeerrrkkkk, ugh.

The Mai Kai is Heaven, that's all. It just is. Thanks to everyone there who helped make this such a magical and perfect weekend!


Too much fun……I am still trying to get my head back in the game here at work………work sucks………..everything sucks compared to the Hukilau……and the Mai Kai………So many friends………too many drinks…………..too much fun………not enough time.


Thanks for the nice comments Vixen AND the Who's Who Round-up.

I loved spending some time getting to know Vixen and Smiley on our trek to the French Cuban restaurant in Little Havana, the Monkey Jungle (which we did not have time for -- so lay off C'Al!) and the Coral Castle.

The only glitch was the part where Mr. Smiley had us, along with Vern, sequestered and forced us to listen to his Scary-O-Key CD. MacArthur's park -- Oh brother!



Tiki Events: Hukilau 2003 Report
Posted by tikibob on 2003-07-01 17:15

The only glitch was the part where Mr. Smiley had us, along with Vern,
sequestered and forced us to listen to his Scary-O-Key CD. MacArthur's
park -- Oh brother"
hey I heard you and Vern SINGING ALONG!!!
My singiong is almost as famous as I am. ALWAYS trust what I say!


I got the Royal Treatment at the Mai-Kai. I fact, even the bathroom attendant said to me "buddy, the next one is on me". So a half hour later, I went into the men's room and preceded to pee on his shoes.
He yelled at me and I said "I thought you said it was on 'you' and now it is!" . Boy was I EMBARRASSED when I found out that was not what he meant!!!


"Too much fun……I am still trying to get my head back in the game here at
work………work sucks………..everything sucks compared to the Hukilau……and the
Mai Kai………So many friends………too many drinks…………..too much fun………not
enough time"
yUP- I know what you mean. I am suffering from a "brain" hangover do to too many stimuli. So much to check out-not enough time to do it!!

Here's some pics...I'll narrate! First we have the Mai Kai sign...I deliberately cropped this pic so that those poor unwashed saps that have never been can be as breathtaken as we were at the scene that unfolds... Next we have one of the greatest, wisest, and most wonderful guys on earth...Pasifeka, who is a full blooded Samoan and whose son was one of our fabulous 12th floor room vendors at the Holiday Inn (Afa Tasi Polynesian Beachwear). Pasifeka was the hit of the floor and perhaps the whole vendor setup...he brought about 150 fresh coconuts which he would cut into a drink vessel right before your eyes and pop in a straw so you could drink the fresh coconut milk inside..his skill with a knife is amazing, as well it should be..he was one of the principle Samoaon fire and knife dancers in the Mai Kai show for almost 20 years. Here is Pasifeka holding one of my Akatara weapons during the vendor day (what a blast it was) And here is Pasifeka in action (back of picture) in the Mai Kai show in 1975 A few of the amazing variety of vintage Hawaiian dresses and Aloha shirts available on vendor day.. Here we have the darkened view facing the indoor portion of the tropical gardens while sipping our Zombies and Black Magics through the window of the back booth at the Molokai bar (an unbelieveable part of the Mai Kai which is basically the stateroom of a 16th century Portugese Galleon complete with cascading tropical rainstorms and ropes and riggings salvaged from the set of "Mutiny on the Bounty!). Next a few pictures of us and friends in the indoor garden. This doesn't even scratch the surface of the total gardens at the Mai Kai which 2 full-time gardeners work year round to care for.. BK and wahine Heather And us with Brad's Wahine Tikkicino (I think whoever we asked to take these was hammered)... And we are seated, and pampered with unbelieveably good food, and the drums beat, and the conchs sound, and the show begins...the rumble and din of the opening number reverberates around the resturaunt menacingly.... Our Emcee, who himself was one of the original Mai Kai fire dancers, and whose son is a current fire dancer. The Maori portion of the show...this one had meaning to me as I have always wished to go to New Zealand and study their carvings and culture up close.. You'll never get past this guy with a TiaHia! Fire Knife dancers...this is a skill which these guys literally inherit from a very young age and is stunningly dazzling and very dangerous and precise as one slip could spell serious injury to the dancers or audience.... Gecko and Kahuna finally meet and enjoy the Mystery Drink during the show.. That's all I'll show of the Mai Kai...There is a very good reason the Tiki Bar Review Pages suggest you go to every other tiki establishment in America before you go there...it is because anything else is a letdown after the Mai Kai. It is simply UNBELIEVEABLE. This event was just the tops! A toast...to Hukilau 2003 and all who made it possible!

[ Edited by: Basement Kahuna on 2003-07-01 23:48 ]

[ Edited by: Basement Kahuna on 2003-07-02 09:25 ]

[ Edited by: Basement Kahuna 2006-05-10 12:47 ]


OK! You guys have done it now. Tikiccino took the words right out of my mouth...I am hooked. I have actually been a sometime lurker here (or just looking over Basement Kahuna's shoulder) but now have been tossed head first into the greatest group of people I have ever had the pleasure to meet. Thank you for that.

But first I would like to thank the academy.....and of course the inspiration for my success...Gecko :wink: (In the words of Purple Jade...SWOON)

In all seriousness, I have never had such a good time with such great people. We partied and laughed like never before. Nothing could ever compare. Hope to see you all again soon.

WOW! Looks and sounds like the Mai Kai is betta' din anyting Cali has to offa. Tanks for da' pics.

What can I say that has not all ready been said? First and for most I would like to thank Swanky, Kiliki, Tiki Bree, and Tristan for a fantastic time. You guys know how to throw a party. Check in and registration went smooth as did Friday and Saturday night.

It was also nice to put a face to a name Bamboo Ben, Holden, Doctor Z and Z Girl, Tikibob, Brad The Beachcomber, Basement Kahuna, and many more.

For anyone how could not make it be sure to start to save your penny’s for next year This is one event you don’t want to miss !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


This event was "Over the Top!" I have so many memories that I'm having a very hard time (yes, I'm serious) to put em' down. I met so many "Ultra Cool People" it has put me in a "State of Awe"! The Mai Kai is Heaven! (nothing can even come close in my book) The "Light at the end of the the Tunnel"! I just had to say something. Total loss of words! Incredible weekend!!! Incredible Event!!! Incredible People!!! Incredible memories that will last a lifetime!!!


Mahaloz plenny to Swanky, Kiliki, Tristan and Bri-elle, PT-Tiki, the Mai Kai and all the vendors. (especially those Kreepy Tiki guys!) I can't really add anything more than what's already been said.... oh yeah I can add one thing!


GECKO posted on Wed, Jul 2, 2003 12:22 PM

Mahaloz for da great time on da mainland! I was very bizzy in Cali and didn't get to do everyting dat i wanted but I'll get'um next time. Da Mai Kai was beautiful! I can't even explain it in words. I don't want to leave out any names so HOWZIT to all da TC members i met on da mainland. It was a pleasure talking story, sharing drinks, or jus a simple hello with you guys. You guys were great!

Mahaloz for da great so called work vacation!



On 2003-07-01 15:06, tikivixen wrote:
Did you keep the Toad??? Be careful...it might be cursed! ooOOooh.

I kept the toad.

The whole way back, it was on my dashboard.

I stopped at Bahi Hut in Sarasota, both Tiki Bars in Louisville (listed briefly in TRT... now that I've been to them in person my advice is: avoid them both at all costs), and the remnants of a now-closed Tiki bar in Clarksville, KY. So... you could say the trip home was a 'Tiki Toad Trip'.
Just shoot me now.

My photos from the Hukilau are now posted to Tiki Bar Review Pages at http://www.tydirium.net

Here are a few...

...and my travelogue for the road trip to and from Florida (including detailed Hukilau recollections... or what recollections I have, anyway) should be posted to the main page of tydirium.net by next week. The travelogue from my trip to Mondo Tiki and the west coast will finally be posted later today for those who care, on tydirium.net's main page.


James Teitelbaum
webmaster: Tiki Bar Review Pages
author: Tiki Road Trip
creator: Left Orbit Temple

[ Edited by: tikibars on 2003-07-03 14:40 ]

[ Edited by: tikibars on 2003-07-03 14:47 ]


I just wanted to get my thank you in to everyone involved in planning, especially Swanky and Kiliki who I had the pleasure of meeting for the first time. Krissy and I had a blast!

We met so many people and had such a great time that leaving Sunday morning was nearly impossible. The Mai Kai is even better the second time around and when it's filled to the brim with people who love and appreciate every inch of it. I can't say enough.

My only regret was not being able to talk to Basement Kahuna more, with both of us being Georgia boys. I wanted to get all of the dirt on the Georgia Flea Market scene (considering you have found more in a week than I own from 3 years of collecting!!) You were in the middle of an in depth conversation though and I didn't want to interupt. In fact, I think you were talking about a name for Brad the Beachcomber's upcoming bar, which is decidedly more important!! We should meet at TV's nextime you're in Atlanta.

Anyway, this past weekend goes down in the book as one of the best times I've ever had. It's only been a few days since the event and I am already counting the days until next year!!



I forgot that I had pictures... as soon as I figure out how to get them off of Shutterfly I'll put them up.


[ Edited by: Matt Tiki on 2003-07-02 16:19 ]

Just wanted to say thanks for all the hard work to everyone involved in the planning for Hukilau 2003! You guys did an amazing job! This was my first "Tiki Event" and it was awesome! Can't wait for next year! It was a long drive all the way from Chicago....but it was worth every mile! Looking forward to seeing you all at Exotica here in Chicago!


Swanky posted on Wed, Jul 2, 2003 8:29 PM

I have started on the pictures page on the site. It's a long way from done, but you can look at about half of our pictures now. I hope to get all we have so far up there this weekend.

I have not had time to do the individual pages for the images, so for now, the descriptions come when you hold the mouse over the thumbnails.
Picture page here

The Swank Pad Broadcast - If it's Swank...

[ Edited by: Swanky on 2003-07-02 20:30 ]


Ok, I got my shutterfly album done CLICK HERE

Mrs. Mug and myself had a fantastic time, meeting everyone on and off the list. (TC is definitely a huge colletion of cool people)

Next event we should have an Offical TC pre-mixer, so we can all meet each other, my only regret is not meeting everyone from TC

A Hoiti-Toiti Wanna Be!

[ Edited by: tikimug on 2003-07-03 10:51 ]

Well, mug, if it means anything, Basement Kahuna and Brad The Beachcomber are willing to invoke upon you honorary status in the Dirty South Tiki Association...(We come with our own haberdasher and Mai Kai, Trader Vics, and Omni Hut within handy driving distance) :)



BK, that would mean alot to me. I just want to belong... somewhere Can I get a fez?

Tweed, that's excellent! I was thinking about Photoshop-ing that pic the same way after I wrote the description... You did a great job!


what a freakin' cool event that was.I'm so stoked for next years show. unfortunately all I was able to afford this time was an evil hangover!! I got to meet some of you guys and gals and you all are really nice peoples. gotta say whut's up to Basement Kahuna for the awesome weapons you had dude, maybe one day!!.Bamboo ben, cool meeting you and Crazy al,Wayne coombs is a freakin' giant I didnt know he was that friggin' BIG, almost pulled my hand outta place!! Kreepy Tiki!! what the hell? you guys are taking this tiki art to the next level. Jaksin it was really cool talking to you .I got to get either that small bloody tiki, or the big azz one with the skull head.maybe next time.Joe Vitale and his wife Jonella (hope I got it right) you guys art simply rocks!! finally Kiliki &Swanky thanks for all youre work and everyone I forgot to mention please excuse me I was having a great time and was incredibly drunk when we met. mahalo to all. 151 proof


Tweed, that's excellent! I was thinking about Photoshop-ing that pic the same way after I wrote the description... You did a great job!

I live to serve. BTW, the font is called "Indian Hotel" in case anybody's interested in that kinda thang.

Lotsa neat parody fonts here:



[i]Joe Vitale and his wife Jonella (hope I got it right)

Almost got it right 151...Joe's wife is "Donella".


On 2003-07-02 16:23, voodootiki wrote:
Just wanted to say thanks for all the hard work to everyone involved in the planning for Hukilau 2003! You guys did an amazing job! This was my first "Tiki Event" and it was awesome! Can't wait for next year! It was a long drive all the way from Chicago....but it was worth every mile! Looking forward to seeing you all at Exotica here in Chicago!



It was awesome that you guys made the trip to Flah - most of the Chicago crew punked out on us, and aside from Nels and I, it didn't look like there was going to be much of a showing from the home of the NEXT big Tiki blow-out... did you see the world's biggest peanut by the highway in Georgia? Wot a hoot. Forget planes - road trips are the way to go!


I just wanted to thank everyone who made the trek out to the Hukilau ’03. The event was epic and you are all part of my very dear Tiki Ohana!

Thanks to Swanky & Kaliki, you GLOW girl, think pink! Bre-elle and Tristan, you are both so hot! Otto, Doe, and Vander, (what a heart-breaker!) Thanks to my new best friend Wayne Coombs and artists Derek and Rain. Casey, say “Ciao” to Charlie for me! I Belli Di Waikiki sailor boys, I love you guys! Kern, the Mai Kai is Tiki Mecca! You are so on top of your game, so would you please come down from the bar now? Pia, my husband is available to you at any time and thanks for letting me use your office as a dressing room, I felt so famous! Vixen & Bruce it was fun, Tiki Bob you are my Eye Doctor Candy Man!

Also, it was so ono to meet all the cool TC peepoze for the first time! Inky, please warn me the next time you need a third for a threesome! Purple Jade, if you ain’t my cousin then you must be my sister! “Yee haw!” Basement & Heather, Brad & Julee what a crew! May the South Rise again! Mr. & Mrs. Tiki Mug it was such a pleasure, great pics too! AFA TASI & Papa Oceanside welcomes you! Vern I’d wait in line with you anytime! James T. I’m sorry if I stepped on your head! And the cool guy that gave me the Kahiki postcard of the Mystery Girl! Wow!!!

Nice showing Hoity Toities! It was so good to see you all out in force. Bamboo Ben, I hear we are in big trouble! (I don’t know it was just something Denny said!) Crazy Al, you look so pretty with your hair all spread out on a pillow. (Yeah, I was talking to YOU this time!) Tiki Farmer sorry about the shipping drought! May your fields of Tikis continue to flourish in great abundance! Pup, nice new Tiki ink, you brave man you! Your efforts on the nametags are always appreciated as well as coveted! Sugar Caddy Daddy, Al says it must be the fifty-dollar haircut! How do you do it, Man? Dr. Z & Z Girl, thanks for helping me get my ice cream fix! King K, thanks for letting me crash your show. I promise to rehearse more in the future and learn the &*%#ing lyrics!

To honorary Toities… Hummu & Gecko, you are too close to us all not to be part of the Ohana! Last of all, Gecko… You have stolen my heart like all the rest. I too, am NOT IMMUNE to the SWOON!

My Ode to Hukilau ’03…

The Hukilau ’03 Song

Oh, we went to the Hukilau,
Everybody wants to go to the Hukilau,
And we’ve had a Gecko in our house for at least a week now.
We packed up our Tikis,
And drove away from the clouds,
How it all fit into the car, we will never know how,
Off to Long Beach, to the Hukilau, the HHHHHL!

We can’t believe we’re going to the Hukilau,
We hope everybody’s at the Hukilau,
Hoity Toities represent TC from So. Cal.
As we walked into the airport,
Well, who should we see, but Holden, Bamboo Ben and Mrs. B?
So drinks flow at the, at the Cockpit Lounge,
Here we come, HHHL!

We started flying to the Hukilau,
Nobody slept on the plane now,
Even rum and pills couldn’t help us now!
The flight was quick,
We didn’t spend too much loot,
Even when Ben lost the bag, with his bamboo suit.
We’re on our way now to the Hukilau, the HHHHL!

Oh we’re arriving in Lauderdale,
For the HHHHHL.
Tiki, bless the guys at the Holiday Day Inn,
They let us check in at 7:00 am.
Basement and his crew revive us with rum,
Man, this is starting to get really fun!
Meeting new peeps now at the Huiklau, the HHHHL!

It’s only Thursday at the Hukilau,
Everybody previewed the Mai Kai,
At the ‘meet and greet’ no one was too shy.
All the Tikis that they have there really blew our minds,
Kern, Kulani, and Pia are really da kine!
Trying a few drinks now at the Hukilau, the HHHHL.

Oh we’re kicking off the Hukilau,
Mr. Bamboo trys a Shark Bite,
And anything he wants for twelve dollars, that’s right!
The King’s in the Molokai,
strummin’ his uke,
He jams with the local boyz,
But he’s still a kook!
Let’s try another drink now, at the Hukilau, the HHHHL!

Now we’re swimming at the Hukilau,
Everybody is feelin’ real chipper,
And the Yankee Clipper’s Wreck Bar has never been hipper!
When Al and Shell crashed the Wreck’s pool,
Seeing his black undies really made her drool,
Al and Shell are bathing beauties now, at the Hukilau, the HHHHL.

Oh we’re all drunk now at the Hukilau,
Pup and Gecko searched the Hukilau,
For the Hoity Toities who had missed them somehow!
Then Crazy Al moves in, so Gecko gets the floor,
“Hey, Shelley, go to sleep it’s way after four!”
We rage on now at the Hukilau, the HHHHL.

So it’s Friday at the Hukilau,
Everybody is gearing up now.
Holden’s mugs are late and he’s having a cow!
All the Tiki kids can’t wait until six,
So they can stand in line and pick up a slip,
Shop on and on now, at the Hukilau, the HHHHL.

It’s time to dance now, at the Hukilau,
Wayne Coomb’s Ballroom is the scene now,
Those Delusionaires really rocked the house.
I Belli Di Waikiki’s set was so trick,
And the King told the audience that he shit a brick.
Party on now, at the Hukilau, the HHHHL.

The show’s not over now, at the Hukilau,
While Tiki Bob’s bar held an all nighter,
Down on the beach they were taking turns with the lighter.
Basement and Belli boys making fireworks fly,
It’s a good thing that nobody lost a leg or an eye.
Blow it up now, at the Hukilau, the HHHHL.

Its swap meet time now, at the Hukilau,
Cool collector crap on the twelfth floor,
Where the vendors let the shoppers feel free to explore,
AFA TASI is there slicing coconuts,
You can come on in until my door shuts,
Buy it up now, at the Hukilau, the HHHHL.

Its Mai Kai time now, at the Hukilau,
Everybody’s in the Molokai Bar,
Where the Mystery girls are never too far,
Oh my Tiki Gods, the time is finally here,
The King’s in the bar and it’s perfectly clear,
It’s paradise now, at the Hukilau, the HHHHL.

It’s time to sit down, at the Hukilau,
Everybody’s in the show room,
Where the island drums are beginning to boom.
WHAT? I’m sitting with the VIPs?
Is this really happening to me? Oh, Thank-you Kaliki!
Having ono grinds now, at the Hukilau, the HHHHL.

It’s ShowTime now, at the Hukilau,
Everybody’s watching the wahines dance,
Where their lovely hula hips will put you in a trance,
Holden’s on stage, who would have guessed?
He’s shaking his okohole, mo’ bettah than the rest!
It’s the Islander Revue now, at the Hukilau, the HHHHL.

Time to raise some funds now, at the Hukilau,
Auctioneer Denny calls the bids out,
And the Tiki bidders raise their hands and shout,
Sold is Rain’s print, and Derek’s, too,
And a Hukilau bar made by Mr. Bamboo!
They’re makin’ bucks now, at the Hukilau, the HHHHL.

Time for the big moment now, at the Hukilau,
The Mystery boy is getting psyched now,
He’s got the sensual gyrations that make us say, “Wow!”
And now for something you’d never expect to see,
Sharing a chair & more are Shell and Inky Louise,
It’s seduction time now, at the Hukilau, the HHHHL.

It’s check out time now, at the Hukilau,
Nobody wants to leave now,
Because at the Hukilau, we’ve had more fun that we ever knew how,
So let’s kidnap Denny and take him down to the Keys,
The only time we got lost was when the King had to pee.
It’s Key West road trip time now at the Hukilau, the HHHHL.

It’s the Sunset Celebration time now, at the Hukilau,
Bamboo Ben and Crazy Al rented a convertible Mustang,
Man, did they ever look like Crockett & Tubbs in that thang,
Then we meet up with the lovely Inky Louise,
The fun just never ends for the Hoity Toities,
We’re at Sloppy Joe’s now at the Hukilau, the HHHHL.

  • Pearly Shell 7/3/03



if i only had my computer smarts, i'd post some great pics too.... Help Sugar Man...

great time with Ya All!!!

lot of talent in our group! we kick Ass!

Great Party Everyone! Thank you Tiki Kaliki, Swanky, Breele and Tristan for making this one of the most memorable Tiki Trips we ever had. Can't wait for next year. King Kukulele, Crazy Al and I Belli Di Waikiki you were the life of the party. My wife laughed so hard Friday night during the Kings set that she peed her pants!

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