Tiki - it's everything you need to be

As I pondered one day, in a semi-conscious state, I thought (this is me thinking now), "hey, tiki has everything one needs to have a great time. It's got drink, food, collections, music, dance, life-style, folklore, massive hangovers, and hotties wearing very little in and around their private parts".

What other hobby is both a life-style and a direct frontal assault on the liver? None.

I mean I've made more friends in the last year than I've lost (by at least a 2 to 1 ratio mind you). And the friends I lost were all due to horrific barbeque accidents, and not my drunken boorish behavior.

When I thought back on the last year of tiki happenings, I found that I couldn't. What the hell, Freud said we only use 10% of our brain, so why not waste the other 90%?

I mean I saw pictures of me drinking at very early hours of the morning, mid-morning, late-morning, noon, mid-noon, late-noon, and night, mid-night(?), and late night at Tiki Oasis and other memory-deleting events. Pictures of me acting like a dork wearing a lava lava and a dumb-ass hat/lampshade, but it all seemed like a fuzzy dream.

(unfortunately, the stroke-like hangovers are extremely vivid, much like surgery sans anesthesia.)

Now when I go into Liquor Warehouse and buy my booze, I notice the clerks calling home to make sure none of their loved ones will be driving anywhere in Orange County that night. I consider it my little contribution to traffic congestion reduction!

Anyway, I just wanted to note what a terrific thing caucasians have done by taking a sacred belief of the polynesians and bastardizing it into their own personally alcohol-fueled form of self-gratification.

Alohahahahahahahahahahahahahah!

That was beautiful. Thankyou!

hotties wearing very little in and around their private parts".

Um...the "in" part of this confuses me some.

Otherwise, very eloquently put.

Purple,

I think Bong must mean "on", but I'm willing to do some field research.

-JTD

On 2003-07-17 14:21, Tiki_Bong wrote:
Anyway, I just wanted to note what a terrific thing caucasians have done by taking a sacred belief of the polynesians and bastardizing it into their own personally alcohol-fueled form of self-gratification.

Sniff Sniff,
That was beautiful... It brought a tear to my glass eye. :)

Don't worry TBong, Polynesians were getting drunk/wasted long before the influence of caucasians: Hence the Kava ceremony.

Your a true islander at heart.
:tiki:

Finally something to feel good about as a "caucasion", I too would like more details on the "private parts" subject.

Let's gather up every copy we can find of that shitty 1970s waste of tree pulp "Desiderata", recycle it, and inscribe it with Bong's words. I was moved, deeply moved...

emspace.

Bong, why don't you make some bumper stickers that say, "Proud to be a Cauc" I'll buy a few and pass 'em out and put one on my truck.

[ Edited by: jungletrader on 2003-07-17 17:35 ]

On 2003-07-17 17:34, jungletrader wrote:
Bong, why don't you make some bumper stickers that say, "Proud to be a Cauc" I'll buy a few and pass 'em out and put one on my truck.

---

Proud to be a what??

[ Edited by: jungletrader on 2003-07-17 17:35 ]

On 2003-07-17 17:34, jungletrader wrote:
Bong, why don't you make some bumper stickers that say, "Proud to be a Cauc" I'll buy a few and pass 'em out and put one on my truck.

Naw, I want the Bong bumper sticker: "Live the Aloha Spirit or I'll KILL YOU!"

MT, Cauc would be short for Caucasian. Wonder where that title for whitey came from? Cauc Asian? hmmm.

On 2003-07-17 20:46, jungletrader wrote:
MT, Cauc would be short for Caucasian. Wonder where that title for whitey came from? Cauc Asian? hmmm.

Got it... However, The pronunciation of Cauc without a period nor the suffix makes the word sound somewhat vulgar. I was merely making a pun.

Me too MT, the whole thing was a play on words.

"Caucasian" comes from the Caucasus Mountains in Russia.
http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mcaucasian.html

Mr. Peabody

Hey Bong, give me some of that shit your smokin!

Thank you Pruple J, that is very interesting. You da' WOman.

"I was a double major, theatre and anthropology. That way I could act like I found something."

Ellen Cleghorne

Purple Jade: great quote from a beautiful lady
:lol:

JTrader: Were you at Sam's Seafood last month. I think I had a drink with you and Suicide Sam.

"It's both the size of your tiki and how you display it that counts."

SK

[ Edited by: MTKahuna on 2003-07-18 10:55 ]

MT Kahuna, now you remember. You gave me your biness card. I knew who you were the first time you posted and welcomed you here. It's good to have you on board braddah. It was cool to suck 'em up wit you an Sam. Although that gaf by the waitress givin' me a blue f*^%&in' mai tai was messed up. She was stupid. But I had to be nice to her just the same. Galdly too as I don't want no trick like Laney does with the mat drippins.

On 2003-07-17 17:18, emspace wrote:
Let's gather up every copy we can find of that shitty 1970s waste of tree pulp "Desiderata", recycle it, and inscribe it with Bong's words. I was moved, deeply moved...
emspace.

With all its hangovers, dry counties and broken mugs; it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.

Drink heavily.

On 2003-07-18 17:23, jungletrader wrote:
I don't want no trick like Laney does with the mat drippins.

Is that mat or Matt's ..., and if so, who is Matt and what is he dripping?

Hehehe...
Bong, man you are a total krack up.

JTrader: sorry about not remember the handle (are online names called handles or is that very CB radio).

Yeah, the waitress was a bit odd. She asked me what she did wrong... She said that we left her a 12% tip as opposed to a 15% one. I felt bad so I gave her an additional $7.00.

I met like 20 people that night and didn't remember anyones handle. I'm sorta short termed memoried (alcohol).

Good talkin to yah. How's the carving comming?

That waitress put the touch on Adrian and I too. saying we only tipped her 12%, we ponied up more cash, after she walked away Adrian Says, "Hey that wasn't our waitress". It was the only time I've ever seen a waitress ask for a bigger tip. Who else did she ask for more cash?
Mahalo,
Al

Hey Al, that waitress will never see my money again. I try not to be harsh but she was probably born on Shiffer Island, you know shiffer brains. Stupid confirmed.

U fa' mae a,
She was a true grifter.

Yes, she whined something at Wes, Baxter and I that night about short tips also. With the crappy, unpleasent service she provided, she has high expectations of others. I plan on avoiding her station in the future.

Trustar

F&$@ the hash slinging Bi%&h! Remember the scene in Reservoir Dogs when the one guy says something to the effect of 'I don't tip, I'm sorry if they don't get paid much and the Governement taxes there tips, but I don't tip'.

(I bet she wishes she would've stayed in High School now, huh?)