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What are the 2 most horrible words to a Tiki Centralite?

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I dare you to find 2 words more frightening.

After reading that Benihana had been at the Fairmont Royal York 30 years, I thought it might be worth a look to see if it had a tiki style bar or even just some good old 70's steakhouse decor. One glimpse at the review, and my heart sank...

"Benihana Restaurant is a newly renovated Japanese restaurant featuring Teppanyaki, Sushi, Sashimi, Tempura...."


mig posted on Thu, Nov 13, 2003 12:29 PM

I think most people would find these two words even scarier: BROKEN MUGS.

(Variations: broken headhunter, etc!)

"Jimmy Buffet"


Newly renovated is pretty horrible, depending on 'what' was renovated.

I can handle 'shag like', and even (some) "broken mugs".

The hardest?.....CLOSED FORVEVER!

Enter The SoCal Hoity Toity Schedule

[ Edited by: sugarcaddydaddy on 2003-11-13 12:58 ]



Jumbo Shrimp...?

mig posted on Thu, Nov 13, 2003 1:16 PM

At the risk of being excommunicated-- "HANFORD'S DRINKING!"

And speaking of the old boy, he happens to get really scared by these words: "POLITICS THREAD"


mig posted on Thu, Nov 13, 2003 1:18 PM


help me! I can't stop! This is a fun little exercise...

or how about: "TIKKI MUG" (sic)-- because when it's spelled that way, who knows what it's going to actually be...

[ Edited by: mig on 2003-11-13 13:19 ]



Palm Beetle

"Eames Era"


"What's orgeat?"

"Outbid Notice" and "Snipe Failed" are pretty bad, but as a devoted garage-saler, the words that crush me are: "Already Sold". That's what they told me when I spotted two giant 1960s fernwood tikis on a lawn at a garage sale some years ago. Someone had bought them five minutes before I got there for $20.00

Just this last weekend, I was at a church rummage sale with Humuhumu, when I spotted a large cardboard box by the kitchen wares. Inside were what looked to be gold-colored, blackened coffee cans. Then I suddenly recognized the streamline shape and what the large 1-inch-thick wicks represented - I was looking at four vintage gold-anodized aluminum tiki torches from the 1960s. All they need was cleaning and new poles.

The box said $1.00 so I took it up the front table, paid my dollar, then asked them to hold my purchase for me while I looked around some more.

A few minutes later, a woman tapped me on the shoulder and said, "I'm sorry, those tiki torches your bought shouldn't have been for sale. Our church still uses them for our picnics and barbeques. Here's your dollar back. I'm sorry."

To find a treasure like that, then have it taken away is just about the worst feeling I know.


"Fully Clothed" comes to mind, as well.

"Wake up" is on the list, too.

"Family Atmosphere"


"Insufficient Funds"


"I'm Pregnant"


How about


no one loves me.....snif

On 2003-11-13 14:50, mrsmiley wrote:
How about
no one loves me.....snif

But we all like you, just only as a friend.

On 2003-11-13 15:00, freddiefreelance wrote:

On 2003-11-13 14:50, mrsmiley wrote:
How about
no one loves me.....snif

But we all like you, just only as a friend.

We like you, but we don't LIKE YOU like you. 8)


Feelin' Zombified beat me to the punch so let me add:

"RARE! L@@K"

"cheap rum"

"i'm sober"




On 2003-11-13 15:17, Juno wrote:



I beleive "TONGA SERVICE" and "JUMBO SHRIMP" fall under the OXYMORON category.

Or in the case of the last Tonga Room waitress I had, just plain MORON.

God I hate that guy.

And now for some self-depreciating humor:

Tiki Bong

"Mullet People"



On 2003-11-13 17:46, Tiki_Bong wrote:
And now for some self-deprecating humor:

Tiki Bong

I was waiting for SOMEONE to post that!!
I am used to self depracion, I was doing it last night when I was watching "Fast Cars and Tiki BARS". :)

I would think for mrsmiley it would be
"BROKEN PIPE". (and I luv u 2, B.)

Akin to NEWLY RENOVATED, also ominous is NEW MANAGEMENT.

And then there's MAITAI MIX shudder.

"Carribean Feel" or "Jimmy Buffett"

Limited Edition


I second the 'closed forever' and 'newly renovated' and last but not least 'jimmy buffet'. I'd also like to add:


In fact, you can add your own drink ingredient and just put an "OUTTA" in front of that and you can have your very own two worst words!


Here's a quick one...

NON-Flame Retardent

... and my personal non-TC one

Cheers Queers!


Aahhh, sorry guys, just a little carver's humor. WAYNE has the patent, no?


Aloha `oe


I'm suprised it wasn't posted yet, but I think I may have the winner:



"thrown out"

as in... when we ask at a garage sale if they had any old match books or post cards or other various cool things and the folks holding the sale reply... oh that old stuff?



(oh, wait. That's actually just one word, but...)


"Cavity Search"

Tiki Trader

Damn Haole

Frat Party

Conga Line

Let's Limbo

[ Edited by: Kailuageoff on 2003-11-14 11:37 ]

Y'know, I STILL can't handle either "Ni!" or "it!".

On 2003-11-14 12:25, tikibars wrote:
Y'know, I STILL can't handle either "Ni!" or "it!".


GECKO posted on Fri, Nov 14, 2003 2:12 PM

how bout DA ROOF!..... about 5 months ago I went to a local antique shop and purchased a few tings made of porcelin/ceramic(tiki mug and a hula figure) I jumped into da car and started towards home and asked da wahine to pull da stuff out of da bag so I could check'em out ya, she said "I don't see'um no where" so where are da fuk are they???? DA ROOOOOOOF! dam $80 down da drain.

Can WAL-GREENS count as two words?

I would have to say there are two phrases that just make my heart sink - the first is::

What's that??

Which is the response I get when I've said the following -

I'd like to order a Scorpion -
What's that??

Technically it's the look that goes with this statement that makes me cringe a little. The answer What's that?? regarding anything Tiki...it hurts. But with my friends it gives me a chance to "spread the word" so in that case it's not so bad.

My next two words that I hate would be

Cover Charge

I rarely go to a place with a Cover Charge that's worth it. Cover Charges at Tiki Bars are typically the worst because (in most/but not all cases) it is for a band that most likely thinks Martin Denny would be the owner of their favorite restraunt.

No offence to those Tiki Bar owners who are trying to make ends meet by bringing in these kind of bands -- because the two word phrase


is most important.


[ Edited by: Tiki Baron on 2003-11-14 15:45 ]

On 2003-11-13 18:24, mrsmiley wrote:
I was doing it last night when I was watching "Fast Cars and Tiki BARS". :)

Is that movie even worth renting?
Anyone else here seen it?

A Tiki Cheers To You!

[ Edited by: Unga Bunga on 2003-11-15 03:38 ]

I'm not sure why, but I hear these A lot



the two words i loathe most
"family gathering"


"happy holiday"

lucky there are only 2 manditory meetings a year...

a chump attitude for a new pop i know...but the truth is you can never go home...

Pages: 1 2 88 replies