Post #11588 by Sabu The Coconut Boy on Tue, Oct 22, 2002 5:28 PM

I was trying to think about how I could convey the exquisiteness of Baxdog’s party, but words absolutely fail me. Therefore, I’ve got my copy of "The Joy of Polynesian Cooking" open to help me find me some good euphemisms.

First of all, props to Baxdog and Kukuinut. Their party was pure Five Spice Pork Moco Moco and their décor is sweeter than Kona Rum Bananas Wahoo Wahoo.

For those who missed the party, don’t feel too bad. Sure, you missed the giant 7-foot tiki with glowing red eyes that welcomed you in to the front door, but I heard that there’s another one existing in a private collection in Norway, so if you’re lucky you just might see it there. And don’t feel bad that you weren’t there to toss back Al’s fruity, rum concoctions while Weirduncletiki of the Mai Kai Gents led us in Hawaiian sing-alongs by the pool with his ukelele, illuminated by guttering torches and wreathed in mist that issued from several fog machines hidden among the surrounding jungle foliage, from which tikis of all sizes and shapes peered at us with enigmatic, yet tolerant gazes. Sure, some people might say that you've got Haupia for brains for missing that. Not me, though.

And sure, Bax has got two functioning tiki bars - one in the lounge and a palm-thatched one out by the pool. But doesn’t everybody? I mean, you probably wouldn't be impressed if I told you about all the Tiki-Culture luminaries I got to chat with during the evening - authors, exotica musicians, artists, carvers, traders, mixologists. The amount of talent in that room was prodigious. I mean if the guests from just that party were all dropped together on some desert island as part of a government experiment, I'm sure in two weeks they would all be dead of dehydration. But that's not the point. The point is our government might just try to pull some crazy stunt like that, so we should try to keep this much tiki talent from ever getting together in one place ever again.

All my usual friends were there, plus some new people I had the pleasure of finally meeting, like Stentiki and Tina, Weirduncletiki and Thor. We all had nametags with our Tiki-Central names and our real names, so that we could recognize each other. There were also a couple of new people who's Tiki Central names I didn’t recognize. (PS: Bambi, Trixie, and Miss June 1999 - give me a call. You left your Ke Kini Pipi Pipi Kinis in my car, tied to my Opakapaka. I’m sure your Mahi Mahis must be freezing without them)

And yes, the green, silk-covered walls in the lounge did make us feel as though we were all figures in some lifesize SHAG painting. Especially the type of SHAG painting where a drunken Coconut Boy on a roller-board destroys all the furniture. That's the type of SHAG painting it most resembled.

That was mostly Baxdog’s fault. If he hadn't made surfing on that contraption look so easy then I wouldn't have been tempted to try it while under the influence of two glasses of Al's Chief Lapu-Lapu (real name - didn’t use the cookbook). Unfortunately, the roller board kinda got away from me, in much the same manner that the oil spill got away from the Exxon Valdeez. Soon Sabu the Coconut boy was hurtling about the room like a circus-monkey on crack and ...crash! There went the planter, while I landed right on my Prawns Krakatoa. Crazy Al was ecstatic; "Hey, someone finally broke something! Now we can call this a party!"

Luckilly it was only Kukuinut’s "Black Bauer Swirl Flower Pot, #12", so she was very forgiving. In fact, in two more months I won't have to wash dishes at their house anymore.

Baxdog's amazing décor was enhanced by the costumes of the guests, I must say. I especially liked Tiki Bong's stylish Lava Lava, which allowed plenty of ventilation to his Lomi Lomi Salmon. I have to say that I was quite jealous, as my Sweet & Sour Meatballs Bali Bali were feeling the pinch while I was dancing to Esquivel.

Then there was the food! A Polynesian/Chinese feast! There was so much food left over that at 1:00am, as we were helping Kukuinut clean up the dishes, and just after she put all the remaining food into giant freezer-bags, we all suddenly got hungry again and had to re-open those ziplock bags and spoon it out onto heaping plates which we put in the microwave. Then we all sat about the kitchen and ate and talked. Bax and his wife definitely made me feel like family. At two a.m. I finally left, but only after helping myself to a couple of those Tiki Farm mugs that Holden had provided for us. There was actually a small surplus at the end of the night.

Like I said, if you didn’t make it, you didn’t miss much.

Sabu The Waikiki Pan-Fried Coconut Duck Boy

[ Edited by: Sabu The Coconut Boy on 2002-10-22 17:35 ]