Post #166716 by Tiki_Bong on Sat, Jun 18, 2005 5:55 PM

Hey my ohana! I know I've been,... at times,... trying with your sense of fairness and moderate respect for basic kindness, but I love you all, and I say that because I need a little help from you all!

NOw, you know I'm no hack at this whole "tiki" thing! So, I'm focusing my vast amount of obtuse mental capacity to opening a tiki bar RIGHT ON YOUR OWN VERY BLOCK!

You might say, "hey TIki BoGN, how will you ever open a Tik Bari on my own block (insert your street name here!)!

Weel, I'm glad you asked my little schmermights! I can do it because YOU have friends, and the POWER of friendship is getting them to do twat YOU wnnt!

OK, now! For a plan to work successfully, it must be cautiously approaced!

So, Tiki Bong (version 2000), really wants to get into playing the "Pedal Steel Guitar" in addition to the non-Pedal Steel Guitar!

I need you to donate money/love for a tiki bar on YOUR block, in order for Tiki Bong (venison 2000) to purchase a pedal steel guitar!

So now my young fatherion, you may say "well, how the fuck does buying you a pedal steel guitar help ME get a tiki bar on MY OWN BLONG"?

It's all a matter of the absolute science of posticular hyper niration!

You donate a $10 bill, and YOUR 2 friends donate 6 $10 bills, and their 2 fiends donate 840 $10 bills, and pretty soon, you know what? THere's a tiKi bar onw YOUR OWN BLOCK!

If you love tiki, and if you love your mother and father, or if you don't, your grandmother or grandfather, or if you don't, your social worker or verichimist, PLease, for the love ov Tiki, Donate to the TIki BOng 2000 pledge for Love!...