Post #176173 by joefla70 on Mon, Aug 1, 2005 10:06 AM

If the talk show host was suggesting that people who have unsatifying careers should have kids because that will make them happy, then I must take issue with that statement. People should have kids if having children is something that will make them happy. There are plenty of people who have satisfying careers who also have children. And I'm sure that there are plenty of people who have crappy careers that have absoutely no desire to have kids. For the latter, having kids is not going to be a panacea for them.

Personally, I couldn't imagine not having children. My wife and I had our first child four months ago and we couldn't be happier. We tried for almost a year to have her. I think part of the reason why I wanted kids so much is becuase I come from a very close-knit family and I see how much myself and my brother and sister mean to my parents and how much a part of their lives we are, and how fulfilling their lives are with us in them -- especially now that they are in their 70s. My mom told me that back when she was working as a fashion illustrator (40 years ago at the time when my older brother was born) she remembered how some of the older "career women" told her that they regretted the fact that they never had families and that they had chosen to devote themselves to their careers. I know that my mom is very happy with the decision she made to give up her very successful career to have us.

Having said that, I understand that having kids is not for everyone and I really respect people like TikiGardner who recognize this and choose not to have children. I must say that I think it is extremely UNselfish of people who really don't want to have kids... not to have them. I think that the people who ARE selfish are the ones who care most about their careers, but still have kids anyway because think they its something that they should do. A lot of the kids who grew up in my neigborhood had parents that fell into this category. They were essentially raised by nannys and babysitters and, to this day, are not close to their parents at all.

The bottom line is that people should do what makes them happy. If having a life without kids is what makes them happy, then that's great. Personally, I couldn't imagine not having kids, but I'm sure there are plenty of people that can't picture themselves having them. There's nothing wrong with either decision.