Post #224980 by ikitnrev on Tue, Apr 4, 2006 5:01 PM

For maximum intake of a mai-tai with and without umbrella, one must balance between two forces.

a) The rate of evaporation being slowed by the presence of the umbrella

and

b) the rate of liquid mai-tai absorption by the wooden stem of the umbrella.

There are other variables to consider.

c) There will likely be a higher evaporation rate when drinking outside in the hot sun of Florida, versus drinking it while indoors, in a darkened tiki room. Evaporation rate is probably slowest in some Eskimo igloo tiki room (there's got to be one somewhere) in the winter months when the sun does not appear above the horizon.

d) although some are saddened by the absorption of the mai-tai by the wooden umbrella, others treasure this effect, as it results in a mai-tai flavored toothpick that can be used long after the drink is consumed. This can cause unintended repurcussions though, when one intends to pick one's tooth with the pointy end and mistakenly inserts it backgrounds (more likely after the consumption of several mai-tais), resulting in more, not less, paper-like pulp material finding its way between the teeth. Also, one is more likely to be arrested for drunk driving if the police officer notices a brightly colored umbrella hanging from your mouth (again, mmore likely after the consumption of many mai-tais.)

Vern