The case for Cocktail Umbrellas

I know that many consider the cocktail umbrella as the Kiss-of-Death to most cocktails. I do too, at least when I am out at a bar.....

But, after much testing and thinking (and drinking!), I want to stand up for the lowly little bits of paper on a stick!

Dismiss the Cocktail Umbrella No More! (insert evil laughter and menacing sound effects here!)

Why, you ask? Simple! Most Tiki drinks are rum based. Rum is an aromatic liquor, and usually come in a reasonably high proof. As a reasonably high proof liquor, it has a tendency to evaporate. That process is what makes 151 flammable.

So what, you are saying as you contemplate the flammability of the average cocktail umbrella......

Let us examine the lowly cocktail umbrella from a different perspective.... Join me in my lab......

(thank you http://www.wellfed.net for the picture)

First, from the perspective of a drink. An 'internal' perspective..... We have established that Rum, and most high proof liquor, is basically a volatile substance. Since that volatility is usually why we are imbibing the stuff anyway, why would you want to let any of it escape? The lowly little cocktail umbrella works as a shield, or cap if you will, to keep the interesting bits in the cocktail. And, what happens when you drink from the cocktail protected by our cocktail umbrella? You tilt it to the side allowing all of the goodness trapped underneath to rise up into your waiting nostrils. Nothing wasted!

From an external perspective (the weaker case for the umbrella).... Spring has sprung and many of you are moving your cocktails to the outside of your homes to enjoy the increasingly fine weather. I myself have already had a couple of weeks of sitting by the pool enjoying a cocktail or three. And, here in south Florida our sun is pretty intense even in the spring. All of the solar energy is wonderful for the pool, but hard on the ice in my cocktail. Just as I sit under my umbrella, my cocktail is sitting under its umbrella. OK, this is a pretty lame excuse for the cocktail umbrella........

Tease the Cocktail Umbrella No More! Dress your cocktails without fear or shame! Never snicker or make snide comments again about the little blue umbrella in your drink. It is there to help! To help you have the best damn cocktail alcohol can provide!

And, before you U-Mod this to oblivion.... Yes, this is a drunken post. And, as soon as I send this I am going back to the bar, I mean Lab! Lab! Thats it, my LAB.... to finish my research!

And, for those of you wishing more conversation on this subject, my limited research found this....this...... and this.....

Audio scene from "The Jerk"

On 2006-04-03 22:25, Chip and Andy wrote:
And, before you U-Mod this to oblivion.... Yes, this is a drunken post.

Well, there goes my only question.

...and it may act as a shield against flying insects attracted to your drink's fruity garnish, or shield your drink from seagulls flying overhead... or falling coconuts too.

For maximum intake of a mai-tai with and without umbrella, one must balance between two forces.

a) The rate of evaporation being slowed by the presence of the umbrella

and

b) the rate of liquid mai-tai absorption by the wooden stem of the umbrella.

There are other variables to consider.

c) There will likely be a higher evaporation rate when drinking outside in the hot sun of Florida, versus drinking it while indoors, in a darkened tiki room. Evaporation rate is probably slowest in some Eskimo igloo tiki room (there's got to be one somewhere) in the winter months when the sun does not appear above the horizon.

d) although some are saddened by the absorption of the mai-tai by the wooden umbrella, others treasure this effect, as it results in a mai-tai flavored toothpick that can be used long after the drink is consumed. This can cause unintended repurcussions though, when one intends to pick one's tooth with the pointy end and mistakenly inserts it backgrounds (more likely after the consumption of several mai-tais), resulting in more, not less, paper-like pulp material finding its way between the teeth. Also, one is more likely to be arrested for drunk driving if the police officer notices a brightly colored umbrella hanging from your mouth (again, mmore likely after the consumption of many mai-tais.)

Vern

On 2006-04-04 17:01, ikitnrev wrote:
.... the rate of liquid mai-tai absorption by the wooden stem of the umbrella...

... as it results in a mai-tai flavored toothpick that can be used long after the drink is consumed.

Excellent considerations, Vern! Aspects of the Umbrella not considered while under thier influence......

It seems others have already considered the flavoring effect of Mai-Tai absorption on the average cocktail umbrella. I am told this photo is from an earlier marketing test........

**Once agan.... to the Bar! I mean LAB! To the LAB! More research is required!

Igor!** The Limes!

hey, I've always loved the little things. And as far as drink protection, they are WAY better than this thing....

As a geography student who is quite well versed in the water cycles and the processes of evaporation, I can tell you that the argument that the umbrella SLOWS the alcohol's evaporation is probably the weakest.

Although, it's definitely possible for the umbrella's conical shape to trap alcohol vapor, and "wallop" you with the next tip of the glass.

I believe my favorite argument is that the umbrella can block solar rays, which is true. And if you're not outside in a low-latitude region? Be like me, and PRETEND you are. 8)

DJHS

Ha ha ha!! Great post!

If you're a member of this website and think little cocktail umbrellas are tacky, you should probably take a good look in the mirror! If you're wearing a Hawaiian shirt or vintage floral dress and the room behind you is filled with bamboo furniture, tikis, vintage bar ware, and framed exotica LPs, it's time to mix yourself a great big "Git Off Yer High Horse" cocktail on the rocks... Oh, and don't forget to drink it from that $40 e-bay score which 99% of your hometown wouldn't be caught dead holding.

Last night I was having dinner at the China Inn in PB, drinking a Mai Tai garnished with a little yellow parasol. At the adjoining table sat a tiny blond girl, no older than six who couldn't stop talking to her parents about my exotic drink. When they got up to leave, my GF offered the tyke my umbrella, who accepted it as if it were the most rare and precious gift... a future Tiki-0-Phile in the making!

(Besides, I love those little things and without them my monkey would fall off his unicycle and tightrope.)

That's a great story, Hank! I would have done the same thing.

DJHS

I use them as markers, so I can keep track of how many I have had, when my shirt pocket is full, I know I need to find a designated driver before I have another one.
No, here is the truth, when you open one just so, you can see the secret of Tiki, I saw it when I was a little boy when my Mom brought one home for me, I swear I saw it, I just can't remember it any more, that's why I keep getting them. I know I will see it again someday.

All reasons TO USE THEM given so far have been excellent. Amazingly, the only reasons I've ever heard AGAINST USING THEM are "They're Tacky" or "They're not REALLY Tiki." I have to wonder what Harry Yee would have told any of us who told him he was making a huge mistake as he dropped the first one, ever, into a drink at the Hawaiian Village Hotel in 1959...?

[ Edited by: Traitor Vic 2006-05-05 18:16 ]

Does anyone remember Dr. Jacobi from Twin Peaks.

Whenever he visited a tiki bar he saved his umbrellas with little tags at the base that had the name of the bar and the date.

We stick the umbrellas in the ceiling at Forbidden Island. :lol:

Christo should have done this with giant cocktail umbrellas!

The debate continues......

For those of you in South Florida, we now have a World Market! Big deal, you say.... Well, I just got some of these!

Well, not those exactly, but bendy-straws with cocktail umbrellas! Now I can serve cocktails with the two most over abused, under used and under rated and misunderstood pieces of bar ware there is..... Straws AND cocktail umbrellas!

Igor! More limes! And ice! LOTS of ice!

Thank you for directing me here, Chip'n'Andy.

At the adjoining table sat a tiny blond girl, no older than six who couldn't stop talking to her parents about my exotic drink. When they got up to leave, my GF offered the tyke my umbrella, who accepted it as if it were the most rare and precious gift... a future Tiki-0-Phile in the making!

That was ME in 1965, watching my Mom empty her evening purse on Sunday after a Saturday night at the Hawaii Kai (I grew up in NYC). I sat in silent awe as she handed me the umbrellas she'd saved so carefully. In my child's mind the glamor and exoticism of this Polynesian oasis was the epitome of why it would be great to be an adult someday.

When I did hit 21, it was Steak 'n' Ale and Beefsteak Charlie's and everyone was making fun of "umbrella drinks."

Where did all the sparkle and fun go?

Thanks for keeping it ALIVE on Tikicentral!

I have done a lot of strange things in my life. I went through a survivalist phase, and some of that lingers. I laugh when I see a natural disaster and the run on the local grocery store. I always have enough bottled water and food stores in my house to last months with out having to venture out should the need arise. It was probably that same spirit that led me to purchase the vast amount of cocktail umbrellas that I currently stockpile. If the worst armageddon imaginable should occur I have enough little umbrellas stored away to maintain civilisation for a generation.

How coincidental!
Yesterday while at Big Lots, checking out their summer tiki line (and they were already out of the bamboo fountains about which I posted, BTW), I grabbed a box of drink umbrellas: 48 for $2.

I figured, you never know when you might run out, right?

And then I chastised myself for not having bought 2 or 3 more boxes...... :roll:

And may go back today for that very reason.....

I like umbrellas, even if they don't keep the fumes in my glass. Decoration puts the ambience in the drink. I like fancy long picks for garnishes too. I think the decorations need to match with the style of glass also.

One of the more interesting decors are in the Spicey Bloody Marys at Kincaids in Jack London Square (Oakland)...it is like a small meal with a whole stalk of celery (end intact), pick with large shrimp and cherry tomato....plus the drink is very good.

A long time ago I saw George Carlin and he did a routine about buying sneakers. Find a pair you like and then buy like 90 pairs. "Good, now I never have to worry about that again." Well, whatever stress I have in my life I do not have to stress about my cocktail umbrellas. I have that covered and then some. Now, if my 401k looked as healthy as my cocktail umbrella stockpile.....

I think I'm in trouble! I can't find my stash of cocktail umbrellas!

On 2007-02-19 10:14, VampiressRN wrote:

One of the more interesting decors are in the Spicey Bloody Marys at Kincaids in Jack London Square (Oakland)...it is like a small meal with a whole stalk of celery (end intact), pick with large shrimp and cherry tomato....plus the drink is very good.

Good to know their garnish isn't vegetarian. I was just down there tonight...

Got mine at Ace Mart, $2.75 for 144.

Look at the menus on Archiva Tropika and you will by the pictures, they used to just go nuts with the umbrellas. Some of them look like some sort of college prank. "How many umbrellas can you get in this drink."

I have never served a cocktail with an umbrella.

I gotta say, I love cocktail parasols. And tacky or not, tiki or not, they look festive and tropical. I understand why they're seen as cheesy, but I can see, at the same time, both the reason why others see them this way, and my own view of them as undeniably fun.

Now, me personally, I think there are two things that top a paper parasol or umbrella. One is a "lantern" - these are built just like umbrellas and are nearly identical, save that they have have two paper cones end-to-end. Push up and, instead of forming an open-bottomed parasol, it opens into a closed lantern form. These are available in the same bright colors as regular parasolss.

Even better is a hanging lantern variant. They have the same lantern as above, but hanging on a short thread from the end of a long wood skewer, its end curved slightly. And believe it or not, this cooler of the two styles (mainly because I've seen it in vintage menus, but only rarely) is the one I can still buy - from Oriental Trading Co. A gross (144, I believe) is but a few bucks - that'll last anyone a while.

Me being a tiki torch nut, I can see modifying the simpler on-a-stick lantern into a torch by spot-gluing a scrap of orange tissue paper to the little white knob on top, and maybe blackening the knob slightly first.

Incidentally, I wonder if there's a drink called a Chinese Lantern? (This isn't the thread for it, but I'll bet there's one called a Tiki Torch...)

But let me add... One umbrella or lantern per drink, and not every drink needs one. If I see one of these in my Navy Grog or my Zombie, I know something's wrong. If I see one in my Black Stripe, I'm gonna run. Trader Vic's claims they have never used them, but they're pictured in old TV menus on occasion.

I don`t know how i missed this thread before but i have really enjoyed the reading. I must say i like the little umbrellas..in the right drinks.

And now on to the bar..or LAB :drink:

I'm with Khan- I just ordered 144 paper umbrellas for $6 from lunabazaar.com With gas at $4, you don't want to come up short and have to make an emergency Big!Lots run.

I enjoyed making my contribution to the ceiling at FI.

I think we cannot discount the entertainment value of the umbrella as well as it's intoximetering capability. You know who has had enough when the start to wear them in their hair and the creatively inclined always end up making something out of them or pretending to be Mary Poppins or something.
Anyone out there have any "Origami-like" umbrella creations or bar tricks?

A human-sized sun parasol is to keep out the rays of the sun, implying heat and...well, sun. A cold exotic cocktail implies a tropical locale, that typically has heat and sun. The Japanese markings on and the bright colours of the cocktail parasol reveal the Japanese influence within recent Polynesian culture, plus it makes the parasol look far more decorative. A toothpick is traditionally used for garnishing a cocktail, but it is rather dull and impractical for garnishing anything but a martini, manhattan, etc. And where cocktail garnishes that are served in shallower glassware (i.e., the traditional cocktail glass) can still maintain a proper decorative and sophisticated appearance by being dropped in without a toothpick or stuck on a toothpick and inserted at an angle, where they will still be easily removed even before the cocktail is completely drunk -- the exotic cocktails are typically of larger proportions and served in larger vessels with large chunks of fruit, making the weight of the garnish a factor; after all, one doesn't want the garnish to disappear and float to the bottom of the drink, as it will lose its decorative appeal, as well as will be difficult to remove without inverting the vessel altogether. Positioned properly the parasol helps keep the garnish where it should be -- at the top of the drinking vessel.

Put all these factors together and the cocktail parasol makes perfect sense to me.

I just cut a pineapple into spears and they are on a cookie sheet individually freezing. Once firmly frozen, they'll got into a zip-lock bag, ready at a moment's notice to proudly hold an umbrella in my Koolaid or whatever I happen to be drinking. "Anything worth doing, is worth doing to the point of wretched excess"

On 2008-05-02 19:06, MadDogMike wrote:
"Anything worth doing, is worth doing to the point of wretched excess"

How else would we make any progress? :D

On 2006-06-24 15:37, Chip and Andy wrote:
...the two most over abused, under used and under rated and misunderstood pieces of bar ware there is..... Straws AND cocktail umbrellas!

And as you said, not just straws, but BENDY straws. Doesn't get much better than that.... :wink:

When I was a kid and my parents would take us out to dinner with them on occasion, my favorite part was always getting the little plastic sword and, rarely, the paper parasol from their drinks. My dad and I would always have little sword fights at the table. Both of my parents are gone now, but you can bet there will be parasols and plastic swords in my drinks, tiki or not.

Yeah, plastic swords are great fun -- until somebody puts an eye out!

...I've run out of both types of lanterns. Anyone know where I can buy more, now that Oriental Trading quit carrying them?

For Tiki Month 2018, Doug at the Pegu Blog has posted a defense of the cocktail umbrella (as long it is gussied up a bit):

http://www.killingtime.com/Pegu/2018/02/05/much-maligned-paper-cocktail-umbrella/

I also think the “Lantern umbrella picks-- still available anywhere?” thread is great and deserves to be linked here:

http://www.tikicentral.com/viewtopic.php?mode=viewtopic&topic=51184&forum=5&start=0

Thanks for sharing that article, Hamo. Good fun. I know that whenever I serve drinks, my non-tiki friends are inordinately wowed by the whole garnish thing, paper umbrellas in particular. They just think the presentation is cool and get a big kick out of it. :)