Post #35133 by vintagegirl on Tue, May 20, 2003 10:53 PM

On 2003-05-19 21:30, thumper wrote:
I have no quams with it,if I did I wouldnt drink.

If that's really the case, then why are you asking for advice. Is it that you want to keep drinking to excess, but don't want to deal with the consequences? That sounds like an addiction to me. Not to mention a refusal to face the emotional void within you and trying to discover where it came from to begin with. I also wonder if you would truly implement any advice given here or if this is just another way of getting attention while hiding behind a screen name.

I know what it's like to be shy, scared of people, unsure of yourself, anxious, nervous and so on. I was extremely shy for most of my life, yes even to the point of making myself sick. But as Bong said, at some point you have to start becoming comfortable with yourself. And there are many different ways of doing that. In my case it was many little steps of just putting myself out there. Yes, at first, alcohol did help. But after a while I didn't need it anymore. In my case, I finally knew I felt comfortable with myself when I decided to perform in my first burlesque show. Nothing gets you over shyness more than stripping in front of a couple of hundred people.......completely sober. I also went on to perform (in other modes) in front of theaters of 2,000 people.

Each time I thought I couldn't do it, I just faced it head-on. Face the fear and do it anyway. You're scared because you worry about what people might think or say so you figure you'll drink till you can't remember your actions. Stop caring what others might think if you don't say or do just the right thing while sober. You're only human so start accepting yourself and stop excusing yourself. That person you want to be or can only be while drinking is already a part of you, but only you can let her out and stop holding her prisoner inside of a bottle of booze.

As far as all the disorders go, I've heard it all before, mostly from my best friend who is also BP. She used to drink as well as do every drug there is. She gained 30 pounds on Prozac once, had a close friend commit suicide and watched her brother die on 9-11 in the World Trade Towers. She's now happily married, is an artist and a teacher, and just had her first kid. BP is still a struggle for her, but she also got help from her church and now keeps it in check by various methods. There is no standard way of dealing with BP, but it does need to be dealt with....you can't just keep ignoring it or medicating it with alcohol. Eventually, a number of unpleasant things may happen such as destroying your liver (you can't party very much in a hospital and I hope you have very good health insurance) or destroying your marriage (there's only so much he can take), just to name a few.

You also say:
"Some people go through life without ever thinking twice about smiling and saying hello to a perfect stranger."

Well, next time you're at a social gathering, DON'T think twice....JUST DO IT!

I know this may all sound a bit harsh, but you can't whine about what to do in a drunken stupor and then not seriously do something about it. People need to take responsibility for their own lives. There are all kinds of help out there whether it's a pastor or psychiatrist or whatever. BTW, I also think Futura Girl's advice was good. Maybe you should check out the link and answer a few of those questions on there.

I truly wish you luck with discovering who you want to be (and probably already are).......sober.

That's just my $98 dollars and 2 cents.