Drunken stupor..what woud you do?

I decided to post this here because a great many of you are in my age group, have gone through similar incidents and are a caring bunch.

I got completely wasted on Friday..which frankly is not something I am new too. Infact I get wasted whenever I can. The only difference is this time it involved 2 other people aside from my husband. 2 people who I hope wont remember me, and thank god I only just barley remember them.

Now Im not going to go into details, infact I wish too not even know what I may have done or hopefully did not do...

But one of the people we ended up socializing with become very intoxicated for this subjects stature.. and at some point in time I ended up helping this person out to thier car where they completly passed out cold... Blind leading the blind I tell yah..

Im very concerned about this persons current condition, because in my drunken stumpor my hubby said I told him this person would be dead in the morning.
Thats alot coming from me...

Anywhoo, have any of you been in this poisition before? Where you and other people swap rounds all night long..then one person dosent make it untill morning?

What do you do? How do you find out about a complete stranger, for whom you barely remember but know enough to care?

Or am I just being a big baby and I should put up or shut up?

I guess its the life and times of those who enjoy the drink a little to much...

The worst of it is that I did god only knows what at a new bar my new friend whos a regular at recomended me too and in the presence of the bar owner..Think I will be allowed back? Fat chance! Crap that makes 2 bars and 1 casino I am not allowed back to..At this rate I will have to move in a year! LOL

BTW Dirty Tuacas are great! In moderation of course..LOL

T

[ Edited by: thumper on 2003-05-19 13:18 ]

I am not sure why you are convinced that aomething bad befell the person in the car - seems to me the worsdt that will hppen is they will just wake up with one hell of a hangover. Sounds like you have the evil hangover guilt/depression. It will pass.

try these guys... http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/default/en_main.cfm?mainid=7

[ Edited by: Futura Girl on 2003-05-19 06:04 ]

thumper-

It's too late to do anything about the stranger you befriended and if you don't know their name or anything about them you can't find out how their doing. I would agree with tikifish that they're probably OK but still hungover.

If you are drinking to the point of getting kicked out of bars you should learn to enjoy drinking without getting to the wasted stage. I wouldn't go so far to say you're an alchoholic at this point but if you keep doing what you are doing you might become one, and maybe end up in jail or even die.

I know it's fun to get wasted once in a while but what's so fun about pukeing and having a terrible hangover? Learn to judge your limits. After practice you can feel yourself start to lose motor skills and that's when you should stop drinking or slow way down. The hard thing is the faster you drink the quicker you get to that point and once you're there your judgement goes out the window. Take it slow and lay off the shots especially the sweet ones. Learn to keep a steady buzz going by pacing your drinking. Drink water between drinks to dilute what's going in your stomach.

Don't hang out with people who want to "swap shots" endlessly if the result is passing out or getting thrown out of bars. What's wrong with saying "no thanks" when someone offers to buy you a shot? If they get offended than they're not worth knowing. Go to bars with friends who will look out for you instead of trying to get wasted.

Bartenders are usually pretty busy and shouldn't have to babysit their patrons. It's up to us drinkers to have a good time but not to the point of making a nuisance of ourselves.

I'm just going to be echoing the sentiments of the others here, but it bears repeating: there may not be anything you can do to fix the behavior you're feeling guilty about right now, but it's important that you take something away from it. Drinking responsibly is pretty damned important -- besides acting like a boor and ruining everyone else's good time, an irresponsible drunk can physically harm themselves or others. We make lots of jokes about over-drinking, making fools of ourselves, and being drunkards, but it's really just that -- joking.

It's possible to drink and do silly things, just as it's possible to be sober and do silly things. If you're finding that you're doing the kinds of silly things when drunk that you wouldn't do sober, I would think that's a big red flag that it's time to consider a change in your drinking habits.

Part of heavy drinking is often a huge feeling of guilt the next day. Some hangovers give you a headache, some make you feel like a wretched turd. Maybe you are having one of those. I am. I had a few last night for my birthday and feel a bit rough. I accidentally spammed everyone with 100 emails. I feel like a turd. It could be you are feeling far worse than you should due to the hang-over. But maybe it due.

On 2003-05-19 03:03, thumper wrote:

Infact I get wasted whenever I can.

I wish too not even know what I may have done or hopefully did not do...

The worst of it is that I did god only knows what

So, ah..., Thumper, what are ya doing tonight?

Dont know..wanna go out and get hammered?

Well I dont expect the bartender to babysit me, thats what hubby does..then subsequently hauls me out to the car when I am completely gone.

Guilty hangover huh? Hmm that would explain alot, I dont suffer physically too much from a hangover...I feel a little dehydrated with a very mild headache..but if I make up for what I lack physically emotionally..then that would make sense..

I get blitzed once or twice a month at most..the other times I just have one or two triple blacks or skky blues..If I have any hard liqour at home maybe a couple shots now and then.

Im not as bad off as I used to be..
Im fairly tame now..

And dead? Doug remembers a security gaurd taking my BAL of .57 and asking why I wasnt dead yet..LOL Still here and I was whisked away by doug before PD showed up. Ha! More resilent than a cockroach..

Well combined there were three of us people doing shots, buying each other shots. Curse those dirty tuaca chasers with Zombies!

Ohh well..such is life.. Aside from my throat being really sore..Im doing alot better today..

Thanks yall for your concerns!

T

"and at some point in time I ended up helping this person out to thier car where they completly passed out cold... Blind leading the blind I tell yah.. "

Helllo?!? If you're really that concerned about your drinking buddies, call 'em a taxi.

I'm sorry Thumper, but it's really not that glamorous to get so wasted that hubby needs to "haul" you out to the car. Not to sound like a prude but I think you should heed The Jabs advice and slow it down.
Aloha
:tiki:

[ Edited by: Tiki Royale on 2003-05-19 13:32 ]

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience, but you had it for a reason. When you completely sober up stay that way and ask yourself if this what you REALLY want:

"In fact I get wasted whenever I can."

It probably isn't, but that's up to you to decide. I hope you are feeling better by now.

Before joining Tiki Central, I used to drink heavily only to make other people seem more interesting. Now with all these interesting TC members, I don't have to!

LOl good point tiki..
I drink because without it Im a prude...very shy and stand offish...
I dont like physical/emotional contact with other people and find it hard to start conversations.
With my ADD and BP its a downward spiral after the first few drinks....If I dont leave when I say, hey lets go..then well...Im going to keep on drinking..
Makes the night life more fun...makes me open up to people .. It makes me normal..
Most people have no idea what its like to be ADD BP with a multitude of social disorders. I just wanna hang out for christs sakes and have fun...if Im not blasted Im going to sick to my stomach from IBS, nervous, might even have an axiety attack.
The alcohol is great..moderation is better...My personality, who I really am can break free.
I want to be a nice person, I want to seem like someone you can talk to, I want my humor to come out in vivid color..But I restrict myself because of social anxiety, fear of rejection and lack of trustworthyness (sp?)Some people go through life without every thinking twice about smiling and saying hello to a perfect stranger..you may think thats normal..Well its not for me..Most people take the simple things of a good social life for granted.
Drinking is bad, I know that..but I just wanna have fun..and I cant without a little help.. Sometimes I take that help a few steps to far..I assume those consequnces..thankfully I have a good husband who also understands.. While I feel bad for putting him through it..at least Im not like that more than twice a month if that at all..

T

Maybe last night was a wake up call? Even twice a month is too much if you are getting in that condition. If you happen to be taking medication for what you mentioned, it totally negates the medication. It is very dangerous and possibly lethal.

People need to accept you for who you are, not the unreal person alcohol induces you into being. Be comfortable with yourself. And people worth being around will be comfortable with you right back.

Thumper,

I can totally relate to what you've said. It's also nice that you feel comfortable talking to us about how you feel inside.

You see, I'm probably alot like you. Besides extreme drinking (the curse of injun blood) and other little peculiararities, I shield myself alot of times by becoming defensive/offensive and with, oddly enough, humor. Many people probably notice it in my posts. But when people get to know me, they see I really am an a-hole (ha ha).

I used to drink so much that I believed I was just committing suicide on the installment plan. If I had to write an autobiography of my 20's, I have to ask someone else what the f*$* I did!

I believe there comes a time in one's life when they find that they are comfortable with themselves, and they begin to open up without chemical inducements. I'm beginning to after only 43 years.

I can't tell you when this begins, it's just that it does for most. For the ones that it doesn't, you'll see their names listed in the newspaper...

On 2003-05-19 14:53, thumper wrote:
Drinking is bad, I know that..but I just wanna have fun..and I cant without a little help.. Sometimes I take that help a few steps to far..I assume those consequnces..thankfully I have a good husband who also understands.. While I feel bad for putting him through it..at least Im not like that more than twice a month if that at all..

Drinking is not bad. If it helps one open up a bit and have more fun that's fine. I find it does for me too. I don't want to repeat myself but just don't make a nuisance of yourself. If you're really worried about what other people think than getting blind drunk and thrown out of bars isn't the way to impress others and make friends. It took me years to learn my limit and I still falter now and then. At the last bay area tiki bar crawl I blacked out. I can't remember much after a certain point.

Drinking is bad when it is not done in moderation..Im not saying its bad as in bad but bad as in physically bad.
I have no quams with it,if I did I wouldnt drink.
I havent gotten kicked out..just not allowed to drink at these places..and they did not force me out as I left on my own two stumbling feet with a little help..
Yeah I dont remember much anymore after a good nights worth of drinking..Get about to the 2nd-3rd hour and the rest is history. I usually drink for about 5-6 hours.
I found some mystery writing on the inside of my shirt..LOL Where the hell did that come from?
The only scary thing about drinking is blacking out..and not knowing what happened in that window of time.
Thats the worst going huh? WHat happened? I did what? WHo are you?
But on the other hand..sometimes its for the best that you dont remember...and maybe thats why we black out..so we dont remember the stupid out of character things we do.

Wish I felt comfortable enough to give the full details of what I vaguely remember in the first 3hours...because what I told Doug was really funny..but you would have to know me to get it..

LOL

T

Maybe you should switch to beer (or god forbid, even light beer) so you could continue to hang out and drink and commiserate with pals for hours, but still remember (most) of it! Liquor is a passport for trouble...

Are you taking any medication for your ADD/BP? If so, effects of alcohol can be greatly intensified by many medications of that nature! If you are NOT taking medication, I would recommend seeing a competent psychiatrist who could get you in a "normal" zone with the proper medication(s). Perhaps then, your "need" to drink to be sociable would not be as strong.

Anyway, that's just my 2 cents worth on the subject...and this is from a guy whose degree is in finance/economics!

At least you're not this guy!

In February in Chichester, N.H., Thomas A. Barrett was fined $240 and given a six-month suspended sentence for his no-contest plea to creating a false fire alarm. Barrett told the judge that he was celebrating his 21st birthday at Jillian's Bar & Grill, and as he staggered down a hallway to the men's room, he mistakenly urinated on the floor and pulled the fire alarm, which he thought was a toilet's flushing mechanism. [Union Leader (Manchester), 2- 20-03]

Just try this little trick that my friends and I came up with for our Thursday night sessions, cocktail,then water,cocktail, then water, it doesn't have to be a full glass, but if you keep hydrated, you can drink longer(and isn't that what it's really all about?)and you won't black out so easily! just try it once.

Meds? Yes I used to be on them. Prozak and alcohol are a blast! Cuts drinking costs down to a fraction since you only need a couple good shots and you feel like youve had 10.

I have tried the whole getting normal thing it dosent work..I dont want to take my lithium pills or any other anti depressent cause it makes you fat, and the lithium drys you up like a fricking prune..LOL
My dexedrine..it works but I need something stronger.
Also because of my ADD, I somehow or another allways start off with a bang going to pyschs and getting meds..but then I forget about refilling them, dont have money at the time to refill, dont go back to the doc and end up without for months or even years. Since it allways happens like that I just dont take meds anymore.

I find smoking and drinking are the best curealls.

Yes drinking water in small quanities does help. Allthough drinking water after a good many cocktails only makes you feel worse.

I didnt pull the fire alram while peeing, which would be a trick for a chick...but I did stumble right into the mens restroom and peed in thier toilet..does that count? LOL

T

*Meds? Yes I used to be on them. Prozak and alcohol are a blast! *

LOL? No.

Enough already.

midnite

Well it is...I only did it once...amazing the buzz you get off of it..I was only on prozak for a short time...made me crazier...

T

On 2003-05-19 21:30, thumper wrote:
I have no quams with it,if I did I wouldnt drink.

If that's really the case, then why are you asking for advice. Is it that you want to keep drinking to excess, but don't want to deal with the consequences? That sounds like an addiction to me. Not to mention a refusal to face the emotional void within you and trying to discover where it came from to begin with. I also wonder if you would truly implement any advice given here or if this is just another way of getting attention while hiding behind a screen name.

I know what it's like to be shy, scared of people, unsure of yourself, anxious, nervous and so on. I was extremely shy for most of my life, yes even to the point of making myself sick. But as Bong said, at some point you have to start becoming comfortable with yourself. And there are many different ways of doing that. In my case it was many little steps of just putting myself out there. Yes, at first, alcohol did help. But after a while I didn't need it anymore. In my case, I finally knew I felt comfortable with myself when I decided to perform in my first burlesque show. Nothing gets you over shyness more than stripping in front of a couple of hundred people.......completely sober. I also went on to perform (in other modes) in front of theaters of 2,000 people.

Each time I thought I couldn't do it, I just faced it head-on. Face the fear and do it anyway. You're scared because you worry about what people might think or say so you figure you'll drink till you can't remember your actions. Stop caring what others might think if you don't say or do just the right thing while sober. You're only human so start accepting yourself and stop excusing yourself. That person you want to be or can only be while drinking is already a part of you, but only you can let her out and stop holding her prisoner inside of a bottle of booze.

As far as all the disorders go, I've heard it all before, mostly from my best friend who is also BP. She used to drink as well as do every drug there is. She gained 30 pounds on Prozac once, had a close friend commit suicide and watched her brother die on 9-11 in the World Trade Towers. She's now happily married, is an artist and a teacher, and just had her first kid. BP is still a struggle for her, but she also got help from her church and now keeps it in check by various methods. There is no standard way of dealing with BP, but it does need to be dealt with....you can't just keep ignoring it or medicating it with alcohol. Eventually, a number of unpleasant things may happen such as destroying your liver (you can't party very much in a hospital and I hope you have very good health insurance) or destroying your marriage (there's only so much he can take), just to name a few.

You also say:
"Some people go through life without ever thinking twice about smiling and saying hello to a perfect stranger."

Well, next time you're at a social gathering, DON'T think twice....JUST DO IT!

I know this may all sound a bit harsh, but you can't whine about what to do in a drunken stupor and then not seriously do something about it. People need to take responsibility for their own lives. There are all kinds of help out there whether it's a pastor or psychiatrist or whatever. BTW, I also think Futura Girl's advice was good. Maybe you should check out the link and answer a few of those questions on there.

I truly wish you luck with discovering who you want to be (and probably already are).......sober.

That's just my $98 dollars and 2 cents.

I'm lost... did any of this have to do with or take place in a tiki bar?

If not, why is this here, and I agree wholeheartedly with Futura Girl...

http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/default/en_main.cfm?mainid=7

*just another way of getting attention while hiding behind a screen name.
*

Exactly.

midnite

edited: for expletives.

[ Edited by: midnite_tiki on 2003-05-21 00:08 ]

I moved this here becuase as it's been pointed out, what does it have to do with Tiki? I think it is covering a serious and real situation though, and it's worth discussing. Just do it here in Beyond.

~Hanford

On 2003-05-21 01:09, hanford_lemoore wrote:
I moved this here becuase as it's been pointed out, what does it have to do with Tiki? I think it is covering a serious and real situation though, and it's worth discussing. Just do it here in Beyond.

~Hanford

Hanford, vintagegirl, Midnite_Tiki, and Lake Surfer:

Thanks for writing what I haven't had time or focused energy to express!

Cheers,
Tiki Chris

Indeed, it's a topic worth exploring as it affects a lot of people on the board.
Tiki Central is undoubtably drink-fuelled, be it our social events or even home-posting
at times.

I think it's important to make a distinction between alcoholism & binge-drinking. Hopefully the most anyone will suffer from here is the latter, but both can have their own serious consequences. My father-in-law is an alcoholic and will go on 'episodes' where he drinks heavily from morning to night for days on end. This kind of drinking is serious bad news as it's difficult to stop and probably will kill him if he doesn't stop. Binge-drinking has it's own problems - risk of injury (both internal & external), risk of doing something Incredibly stupid, and if it starts to happen too often, the risk of ending up as an alcoholic.

I have to be careful myself - I tend to drink too much when I'm enjoying myself. Too much talking leading to dry mouth leading to more drinks and so on until I'm riding the booze-scooter home. (That's the mysterious device that somehow gets you home without you having any recollection of it). As I've got older, the hangovers take more time to shake off and I've noticed feeling mildly
depressed the day after. (After all, alcohol is a depressant). I try to tackle it by buying drinks that I really enjoy and savour the taste of, in the hope that I'll drink more slowly. I can't quite get to grips
with the whole 'drinking water' thing, but by avoiding shots completely and having a weaker drink here and there, I'm halfway there.

Trader Woody

Stay away from Paxil & hard liquor...before you know it your typewriter turns into a beetle & your asking your spouse if she's ever heard of William Tell! Scary stuff.