See ya suckers, I'm outta here! - Bilge

W woofmutt Member Seattilite Telstar Joined: Mar 26, 2002 Posts: 2639	W woofmutt Posted posted on Wed, Aug 20, 2008 9:15 AM I missed Bohemian's post first round. Very funny. But on a more serious note... These scams have been around for some time now. Apparently they must work occasionally otherwise they wouldn't still exist. So it seems that over the years these scammers may have gotten together a fair chunk of change from the gullible. Now may be the idea time to "sell" the scammers something... Dear Esteemed South Zimbabigerian Businessman, My name is Coldcereal Windshieldwiper, I am the only son of the great Lightfixture Windshieldwiper, former Janitorial General In Chief at the US Citizenship and Immigration Services in Washington DC. For many years my father General Lightfixture oversaw the Toilette Paper Changing, Ball Point Pen Resources, Soap Dispenser Fillings, Trash Can Rearrangement, and Urinal Cake Distribution in the Hallway of The Offices of The Most Powerful and Influential Persons of the US Citizenship and Immigration Services. In Washington DC. In Washington DC at the US Citizenship and Immigration Services my father General Windshieldwiper was in charge of important tasks such as the handling of the toilette papers, the rearrangement of trashcans, and the distribution of ball point pens, the very same ball point pens used in the granting of citizenships to persons of foreign origin, such as yourself. Over his years of service my father General Windshieldwiper in his position at the US Citizenship and Immigration Services (in Washington DC) knew of many extra US citizenships that went unused and were set aside in the Janitorial General In Chief closet next to the urinal cakes and ball point pens. In Washington DC. My father General Windshieldwiper was good friends with the Captain First Class Who Decides You Can Come Live In America. He was Captain First Class Manhole Cover. They frequently played dominoes or went for $3.99 Lunch Special at Always Good Teriyaki. In Washington DC. It was while enjoying Special Pork #5 one day at Always Good Teriyaki (in Washington DC) that Captain First Class Manhole Cover told my father "I thought this pork would be spicier. Also we no longer need all the extra US citizenships that are in your Janitorial General In Chief closet. Please, take them home so we will have more room for urinal cakes. This is of utmost national security! Tell no one, and pass me the Rooster Sauce!" My father General Windshieldwiper of course did as his good friend Captain First Class Manhole Cover asked him. The extra US Citizenships came to our house just outside of Washington DC and were placed in our linen closet next to the special guest handtowels and the pilow case embroideried by my aunt. Now sadly my father General Windshieldwiper has died as did my mother Camamile Tea Windshieldwiper in a terrible deep fryer accident. In Washington DC. Suddenly I find myself an orphan at age 57, the 1.5 million made from the sale of my parents house barely enough to cover the purchase of my Aspen time share. Other than the Aspen time share and a condominium in Malibu all I have in my life is Miss November 2004 and the extra US Citizenships given to my father General Windshieldwiper by his friend Captain First Class Manhole Cover. In Washington DC. These are full, never used US Citizenships. Each certificate bears the Seal of the United Sates of America with a red, white and blue ball balanced on his nose. Next to the cute seal is the Great American Eagle saying "This Certificate Is Good For US Citizenship For One Person in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave. Do Not Pass Go. Operators Are Standing By. In God We Trust. Open 24 Hours. In Washington DC." There are also seals of authenticity from Good Housekeeping, Underwriters Laboratories, and Elvis Presley Enterprises Inc. Each never used US citizenship is NWT, still in its original shrink wrap. Because of my difficult circumstances and a vacation condo in Maui that I must make a down payment on I am offering you US Citizenship at a price which is much lower than you would be able to buy it at the US Citizenship and Immigration Services Gift Shop. In Washington DC. There are only 137 unused US Citizenships. Because you are an esteemed and trusted businessman I am willing to sell each Us Citizenship to you for the low low price of $1,499. US. Of this amount I will only requre $750 US from you prior to your arrival and my transfer of the Us Citizenship certificate to you. In Washington DC. Tell no one as I have a very selective list of those who are receiving this offer of US Citizenship and the demand will be great. Please respond quickly as Miss November 2004 and I must soon leave the country to celebrate our friend Geroge Clooney's birthday. On Lake Como. Your Trusted Friend, Coldcereal Windshieldwiper In Washington DC

I missed Bohemian's post first round. Very funny. But on a more serious note...

These scams have been around for some time now. Apparently they must work occasionally otherwise they wouldn't still exist. So it seems that over the years these scammers may have gotten together a fair chunk of change from the gullible. Now may be the idea time to "sell" the scammers something...

*Dear Esteemed South Zimbabigerian Businessman,

My name is Coldcereal Windshieldwiper, I am the only son of the great Lightfixture Windshieldwiper, former Janitorial General In Chief at the US Citizenship and Immigration Services in Washington DC.

For many years my father General Lightfixture oversaw the Toilette Paper Changing, Ball Point Pen Resources, Soap Dispenser Fillings, Trash Can Rearrangement, and Urinal Cake Distribution in the Hallway of The Offices of The Most Powerful and Influential Persons of the US Citizenship and Immigration Services. In Washington DC.

In Washington DC at the US Citizenship and Immigration Services my father General Windshieldwiper was in charge of important tasks such as the handling of the toilette papers, the rearrangement of trashcans, and the distribution of ball point pens, the very same ball point pens used in the granting of citizenships to persons of foreign origin, such as yourself.

Over his years of service my father General Windshieldwiper in his position at the US Citizenship and Immigration Services (in Washington DC) knew of many extra US citizenships that went unused and were set aside in the Janitorial General In Chief closet next to the urinal cakes and ball point pens. In Washington DC.

My father General Windshieldwiper was good friends with the Captain First Class Who Decides You Can Come Live In America. He was Captain First Class Manhole Cover. They frequently played dominoes or went for $3.99 Lunch Special at Always Good Teriyaki. In Washington DC.

It was while enjoying Special Pork #5 one day at Always Good Teriyaki (in Washington DC) that Captain First Class Manhole Cover told my father "I thought this pork would be spicier. Also we no longer need all the extra US citizenships that are in your Janitorial General In Chief closet. Please, take them home so we will have more room for urinal cakes. This is of utmost national security! Tell no one, and pass me the Rooster Sauce!"

My father General Windshieldwiper of course did as his good friend Captain First Class Manhole Cover asked him. The extra US Citizenships came to our house just outside of Washington DC and were placed in our linen closet next to the special guest handtowels and the pilow case embroideried by my aunt.

Now sadly my father General Windshieldwiper has died as did my mother Camamile Tea Windshieldwiper in a terrible deep fryer accident. In Washington DC. Suddenly I find myself an orphan at age 57, the 1.5 million made from the sale of my parents house barely enough to cover the purchase of my Aspen time share.

Other than the Aspen time share and a condominium in Malibu all I have in my life is Miss November 2004 and the extra US Citizenships given to my father General Windshieldwiper by his friend Captain First Class Manhole Cover. In Washington DC.

These are full, never used US Citizenships. Each certificate bears the Seal of the United Sates of America with a red, white and blue ball balanced on his nose.

Next to the cute seal is the Great American Eagle saying "This Certificate Is Good For US Citizenship For One Person in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave. Do Not Pass Go. Operators Are Standing By. In God We Trust. Open 24 Hours. In Washington DC."

There are also seals of authenticity from Good Housekeeping, Underwriters Laboratories, and Elvis Presley Enterprises Inc.

Each never used US citizenship is NWT, still in its original shrink wrap.

Because of my difficult circumstances and a vacation condo in Maui that I must make a down payment on I am offering you US Citizenship at a price which is much lower than you would be able to buy it at the US Citizenship and Immigration Services Gift Shop. In Washington DC.

There are only 137 unused US Citizenships. Because you are an esteemed and trusted businessman I am willing to sell each Us Citizenship to you for the low low price of $1,499. US. Of this amount I will only requre $750 US from you prior to your arrival and my transfer of the Us Citizenship certificate to you. In Washington DC.

Tell no one as I have a very selective list of those who are receiving this offer of US Citizenship and the demand will be great. Please respond quickly as Miss November 2004 and I must soon leave the country to celebrate our friend Geroge Clooney's birthday. On Lake Como.

Your Trusted Friend,

Coldcereal Windshieldwiper
In Washington DC*

Post #402524 by woofmutt on Wed, Aug 20, 2008 9:15 AM