Post #493809 by tiki mick on Sat, Nov 14, 2009 5:29 PM

I stand corrected!

And it is true, you could be there one Sunday morning, newspaper ready in front of you and enjoying a nice fat poop, and lo and behold.....a alligator (that used to be someone's pet but got too big and was released into the sewer system) comes up from below and bites your balls off....(well, possible a small Cayman would fit in there.) Anyway, I read about it so I know it's true!

Are there a lot of children who somehow manage to fall down the toilet and get sucked out to sea? Do Canadian fishing trawlers then rescue those same children off the Mexican coast? Or is it all just a vast, left-wing liberal conspiracy, invented by George Soros and Al Gore?

I really don't have all the answers, but I can tell you this: if Big tiki Dude plays one more surf record, the kool kids will probably have his head! It could happen! Jeff, are ya listening?

These are the kool kids rules:

1. No surf.
2. No lounge.
3. Absolutely no Hapa Haole. Everyone knows Hapa haole is neither Kool nor trendy.
4. Only exotica, and only if accompanied by a mug.
5. You are allowed to play Shania Twain. All night. Over and over.
6. No Miley Cyrus, Hannah Montana, Tony Montana (or that one guy they threw out the helicopter.)