Post #768466 by tikiskip on Mon, Sep 12, 2016 4:11 AM

This too....

Raiders of the Lost Tiki

I uncovered this Mai-Kai relic in the Southeast corner of an enormous warehouse in South Florida. The proprietor of the space had impeccable taste and a penchant for the bizarre. He informed me that this particular monstrous warehouse was the smaller of his storage units . . . he had another twice it’s size!

The tiki was hidden under a dusty canvas dropcloth, dying to be discovered. As my flashlight moved slowly from the left to the right - the beam of light washed over indistinct forms - I felt like Indiana Jones! I was imagining the possible horrors which may lurk under the next tarp, there was sure to be a human head in a jar, or a cursed mummy, I thought to myself. My eyes scanned the corner : a Heywood Wakefield, an Eames, an Indian motorbike . . . And that’s when I saw it.

I was hit with the dreadful realization that I very likely unable to afford to purchase anything from this veteran collector's upscale treasure trove - but it was worth a shot. I feigned a casual interest in the direction of the Eames lounge chair / ottoman combo, “How much for the La-Z-Boy ?”. His only response was an unconcerned laugh which confirmed my fears : this guy knew his stuff. Against all odds, I still had to find a way to make this tiki relic come home with me.

I instantly recognized that the room divider came from The Mai-Kai, and the collector verified that it was indeed from the historic Polynesian Pop paradise in Fort, Lauderdale. The moment I discovered this precious abandoned artwork will forever be enveloped in the mystery and magic of The Mai-Kai, you see, the morning when I located this lucky find was a year to the day , from when I last lounged at the MaiKai. I was certain of the timing because it was my wife’s birthday. ( Off topic but : my wife is so cool that she goes digging in a creepy warehouse with me on the morning of her birthday. And she doesn’t just begrudgingly go along with it - she’s totally excited about it! I truly am the luckiest man alive! )

Noticing that one of the sections of tiki carvings was missing, I tried to downplay the quality of the precious artifact by pointing out that it was incomplete. “Too bad that guy left the party”, I said pointing to the gap in the tiki totem, “Do you think you might have it laying around somewhere?” He didn't have a clue. I thought I would be mocking him when I made my initial offer - but a portal to tiki heaven opened up - and to my surprise we arrived at an agreeable number! He sold it to me with the caveat that I had better find a good home for it, with someone who recognized it’s true worth. We literally maxed out our last credit card to complete the sale.

I ecstatically began moving aside some crates and heavy signs in order to create a path by which to remove the tiki relic from the warehouse. In doing so, I shifted a pile of wood with old block and tackles hanging from it. I was struck on the shoulder by some jagged beams and thought to myself that I would probably need a tetanus shot. Before I could formulate frustration however : I saw the face of the missing tiki totem amongst the flotsam! The section was once again complete. It was beyond Far Out ! . . . More than meant to be!